Where do i even start? Since the age of 12, when i started getting depressed and isolating myself, i also started to create a life in my head, and at first it was your you know average fangirl daydreaming being married to some actor and you had a great life and yadyayda you get the idea.. But this started to get worse, the more isolated i became the more intense the life inside my head became, i had created different stories and i was not always in them.. but now, I keep dreaming/living in my head in this futuristic idea of what my life will be like, i have almost dreamt it so long i can't imagine a real life happening.. or what will really happen, All i see is my perfect future.. and it is very unrealistic, i mean not impossible but.. i know it won't happen. The problem also is, i talk to myself in this future, when my parents are out of the house i often make up a conversation i have with my husband, or an interview i am in (i am a famous filmmaker in my dream) Stuff like that, Sometimes i think maybe i just need someone to talk too then it would go away. The problem is that the least bit of freetime, basically when i am not having a conversation i jump into this world, it does not matter if i am out in public, having dinner with my family.. i just jump right into it.. It makes me feel less lonely of course.. but it's getting unbearable not fully living my real life, i mean daydreaming a bit sure.. but all the time? That can't be healthy.. I have tried to stop.. to try and live more in the moment.. but i can't and i just feel almost like a prisoner in this utopia.. I really don't know how to explain it, i mostly daydream when i listen to music.. I am just asking if anybody else have this problem? If anybody have but it went away? Or any tips on how i can stop doing it soo much!?.. im just desperate..
Daydreaming, It's getting out of control, Please help!?
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LoneKiller
Well-known member
Relax Boss.
This, I've had before myself. You have a "Happy Place". A place where you can go to find solace by imagination and "Day Dreaming". This place provides a comforting sensation to you, and that's ok. It's how your brain deals with some of the problems in reality. It's not unusual to visualize a pleasant place if it helps, but you can't rely on it alone to solve your dilemma. You have to put some work into it.
As far as it consuming you, it just takes a little dose of the real world mixed in with your "Happy Place" and soon your "Happy Place" will combine with reality making life so much better.
When I had what you did, I had the same worries and went to see my family doctor about it. He had mentioned that they have medication to help, but in the long run, your body builds up a tolerance to it and you will require more and more to achieve the desired state of happiness.
Just try and mix it up some and eventually the 2 will merge into one. It worked for me without the pills. Just be cool and train your mind. I know I sound like some monk or something, but it worked for me.
I truly hope that you find peace of mind and success conquering all of your worries.
God Bless.
LoneKiller
This, I've had before myself. You have a "Happy Place". A place where you can go to find solace by imagination and "Day Dreaming". This place provides a comforting sensation to you, and that's ok. It's how your brain deals with some of the problems in reality. It's not unusual to visualize a pleasant place if it helps, but you can't rely on it alone to solve your dilemma. You have to put some work into it.
As far as it consuming you, it just takes a little dose of the real world mixed in with your "Happy Place" and soon your "Happy Place" will combine with reality making life so much better.
When I had what you did, I had the same worries and went to see my family doctor about it. He had mentioned that they have medication to help, but in the long run, your body builds up a tolerance to it and you will require more and more to achieve the desired state of happiness.
Just try and mix it up some and eventually the 2 will merge into one. It worked for me without the pills. Just be cool and train your mind. I know I sound like some monk or something, but it worked for me.
I truly hope that you find peace of mind and success conquering all of your worries.
God Bless.
LoneKiller
Ian Haines
Well-known member
Turn it all into short stories or novels! I am not joking!
mrsme said:
I was actually fired from my first job for day dreaming on the assembly line. That's still a good memory. I know you want to think it a problem but it really isn't. However continuing to think its a problem could negatively impact the way you feel about yourself. i f your bored you will day dream, if you don't have enough to do you will day dream. I love to day dream, I fact what loneliness says about day dreaming and mixing it with reality is true. Some jobs, like the ones I have now, involve living in my head quite a bit. So when I'm in there doing work I don't get to day dream much about scuba diving, golf, and sailing. Someone times when I get home from work I need to just stare off into space or a wall works good too. Day dreaming is just a name we give to thoughts about something that isn't real. But most things we think about aren't real they exist only in our head, so its entirely normal. Its not going to cause you a problem unless you are so involved you stop eating and basic survival functions, like avoiding being I front of speeding buses.
L
lonelyfairy
Guest
There is nothing bad about daydreaming! Life is nothing without dreams in my opinion.
Ian Haines said:
I was going to say the exact same thing.
TheSolitaryMan
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Sci-Fi said:
This is actually kinda true. Half the stories I write are based on my dreams or absent minded thoughts.
I had this one about my face kind of melting off, I'm turning it from a nightmare into a sort of detective/romance/supernatural revenge/crime thriller, lol
On a pure daydreamy note, I don't think they're that bad. As long as they're not persistently interfering with things you want to do or your safety it's not a problem.
I find a great way of combatting apathy or daydreaminess when you don't want it to settle on your head is to start the day thinking of rigid goals. I'll get out of bed and think "First things first, I'm going to get on with X."
It helps keep me firmly in the real world rather than allowing me to drift into my usual daydreams of what to do in a zombie apocalypse and the number of cuddly girls I could save if I wasn't infected
Vagrant Legacy
Well-known member
Hehe, well, some people here have mentioned turning it into novels or short stories. This is an excellent idea - if you write off your ideas, you could literally distantiate yourself from them. It would provide a physical barrier between these dreams and reality. So all in all, that's not a bad idea at all
Of course, if you feel that wouldn't work, you might want to work on training your mind a bit. There's plenty of meditation exercises that focus on either clearing your mind of all thoughts (which might be suitable in your case, in my opinion), or just exercises that focus on living in the here and now. Perhaps those could be of some help to this problem ?
Of course, if you feel that wouldn't work, you might want to work on training your mind a bit. There's plenty of meditation exercises that focus on either clearing your mind of all thoughts (which might be suitable in your case, in my opinion), or just exercises that focus on living in the here and now. Perhaps those could be of some help to this problem ?
Ak5
Well-known member
I'm the male version of you!
Yeah, I day-dream a lot. The people in my mind are my only friends...Except the people here
If you notice yourself doing it, and know that it's not 100% "normal" in a person, then your fine! It's just a psychological defense mechanism.
Strangely enough, it's crazy, but it's the only thing that's keeping me and you from going crazy!
Yeah, I day-dream a lot. The people in my mind are my only friends...Except the people here
If you notice yourself doing it, and know that it's not 100% "normal" in a person, then your fine! It's just a psychological defense mechanism.
Strangely enough, it's crazy, but it's the only thing that's keeping me and you from going crazy!
Thank you all!, and i know i am not crazy and alone in this.. I just wish i could for a moment be here.. not dream away..
And yeah, becoming a writer or filmmaker is my dream in life and i keep thinking i am gonna start writing but there is always something holding me back.. i guess i am scared in case it turns out to be honeysuckle.
And yeah, becoming a writer or filmmaker is my dream in life and i keep thinking i am gonna start writing but there is always something holding me back.. i guess i am scared in case it turns out to be honeysuckle.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
mrsme said:
The good thing about writing and the internet is that you'll always have an audience.
And... here's a hint: It probably WILL be honeysuckle when you first start out. Mine was. Most of the time I still think my writing IS honeysuckle... but that's what drives me to do better, to keep writing and keep practicing and learning new techniques.
Ian Haines
Well-known member
Hi...
It doesn't matter whether or not they are of any pre-determined quality.
The involved liberation of them is the thing that should be done, and done even if it will occupy you for the rest of your life.
Where's the calendar being marked, on this? Nowhere!
Where's the stopwatch being held up, to this? Nowhere!
There need never even be another human's eyes on the stories (I recommend short stories. If you go for long ones, try screenplay, rather than novel form. Look it up and research how to do it) - the decision to do that is probably years down the line.
Remember one of the tips of semi-fiction writing - "Make 'em cry, make 'em laugh, make 'em wait!"
And, delight in your typo errors and your misspellings - let them lead you into laughter, because the real last laugh in writing...is always there for you to share with your own personal favourite characters!
The best work isn't work that's just been written: it's work that's just been re-written!
In my Faith, there is a saying: "If you can imagine it, then it already exists!" See it in your mind, then be the material witness who gets the world-beating prize for writing it all down, just as it happened. That's one of the cleverest levers you can adapt to suit yourself, in writing! Give it a try!
J.K. Rowling did it, with Harry Potter - so, you can assuredly do it.
Let day 1 of writing choose itself...you'll know when it's time!
Ian.
It doesn't matter whether or not they are of any pre-determined quality.
The involved liberation of them is the thing that should be done, and done even if it will occupy you for the rest of your life.
Where's the calendar being marked, on this? Nowhere!
Where's the stopwatch being held up, to this? Nowhere!
There need never even be another human's eyes on the stories (I recommend short stories. If you go for long ones, try screenplay, rather than novel form. Look it up and research how to do it) - the decision to do that is probably years down the line.
Remember one of the tips of semi-fiction writing - "Make 'em cry, make 'em laugh, make 'em wait!"
And, delight in your typo errors and your misspellings - let them lead you into laughter, because the real last laugh in writing...is always there for you to share with your own personal favourite characters!
The best work isn't work that's just been written: it's work that's just been re-written!
In my Faith, there is a saying: "If you can imagine it, then it already exists!" See it in your mind, then be the material witness who gets the world-beating prize for writing it all down, just as it happened. That's one of the cleverest levers you can adapt to suit yourself, in writing! Give it a try!
J.K. Rowling did it, with Harry Potter - so, you can assuredly do it.
Let day 1 of writing choose itself...you'll know when it's time!
Ian.
S
S t r a y
Guest
I understand what you are saying, it's a way of coping with your emotional needs not been met. But it still hurts because you know it's not real.
Lonesome Crow
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I wish I can still day dream or create visions as you do....
I've been trainned or turned into a robot of whatever the heck a responsible aduilt should do.
Most self help will tend to get me to go back to my childhood and wanna get me to start
day dreaming again.lmao
Stuff like...Have faith like a child.
When i was a kid..fucken adults would tell me to stop day dreaming.
No wonder I'm all messed up in the head.LOL
Day dreaming in itself is not a bad thing. It's the power of creation.
Who knows maybe you'll marry a famouse actor someday.
But you know how it is...you gatta do your homework. Prepare yourself
for college so you can be someone else's pond living their god **** dream when you
grow up to be a responabe adult.lol
To get into the moment and out of your head...its more simple than you think.lol
Maybe it might be helpful for you to find a quite tranquill place away from your house.
Maybe a park bench. i used to go sit at a park bench under a tree near a pond with a water fountain.
There's a light pole at a distance. The light is dim enough so it wont hurt my eyes if I focus in on it.
I'll just focus on the light...then of course I'll notice all kinds of stuff running through my head.
I'll just let those thoughts run through as I stay focus on the light.
Slowly I'll notice the wind caressing my skin. Then the sounds of children laughing and playing.
The sound of the water fountain. Traffic from a distance. a bird flying across the sky.
The moon light or the stars. A dog barking from a far....
All of things I'll notice happening in the moment. Im in the moment and not my head.
It takes just a little bit of pratice.
Today I'll just go sit at a pier...bascailly do the samething...watch the sunset. the waves hitting the sand.
People jogging up and down the beach...it's a sort of meditation to get out of my head.
Or you can do simple exercise...such as hold an object. (that's what those **** steel balls are used for)
But you can use any object such as a coin. Feel the texture of that object. The temperature.
Move it around in your hand. Set it down and pick it back up.
I know it sounds corning...but you're trainning your mind to stay focus in the moment
but also trainnig your mind to have control over your body in the moment or your actions.
If you have control over your mind and actions...you'll pretty much have control over your life.
Youll bascailly be able to chose what your thoughts will be or not ..Then your actions.
Just apply the same principle in other areas of your life.
You're simply just chosing to day dream that is all...nothing wrong with that.
yeah...controll your mind or it'll controll you.
I've been trainned or turned into a robot of whatever the heck a responsible aduilt should do.
Most self help will tend to get me to go back to my childhood and wanna get me to start
day dreaming again.lmao
Stuff like...Have faith like a child.
When i was a kid..fucken adults would tell me to stop day dreaming.
No wonder I'm all messed up in the head.LOL
Day dreaming in itself is not a bad thing. It's the power of creation.
Who knows maybe you'll marry a famouse actor someday.
But you know how it is...you gatta do your homework. Prepare yourself
for college so you can be someone else's pond living their god **** dream when you
grow up to be a responabe adult.lol
To get into the moment and out of your head...its more simple than you think.lol
Maybe it might be helpful for you to find a quite tranquill place away from your house.
Maybe a park bench. i used to go sit at a park bench under a tree near a pond with a water fountain.
There's a light pole at a distance. The light is dim enough so it wont hurt my eyes if I focus in on it.
I'll just focus on the light...then of course I'll notice all kinds of stuff running through my head.
I'll just let those thoughts run through as I stay focus on the light.
Slowly I'll notice the wind caressing my skin. Then the sounds of children laughing and playing.
The sound of the water fountain. Traffic from a distance. a bird flying across the sky.
The moon light or the stars. A dog barking from a far....
All of things I'll notice happening in the moment. Im in the moment and not my head.
It takes just a little bit of pratice.
Today I'll just go sit at a pier...bascailly do the samething...watch the sunset. the waves hitting the sand.
People jogging up and down the beach...it's a sort of meditation to get out of my head.
Or you can do simple exercise...such as hold an object. (that's what those **** steel balls are used for)
But you can use any object such as a coin. Feel the texture of that object. The temperature.
Move it around in your hand. Set it down and pick it back up.
I know it sounds corning...but you're trainning your mind to stay focus in the moment
but also trainnig your mind to have control over your body in the moment or your actions.
If you have control over your mind and actions...you'll pretty much have control over your life.
Youll bascailly be able to chose what your thoughts will be or not ..Then your actions.
Just apply the same principle in other areas of your life.
You're simply just chosing to day dream that is all...nothing wrong with that.
yeah...controll your mind or it'll controll you.
I day-dream a lot too! My real life mostly feels less real than my imaginary life/future life. It usually starts with me being bothered about how my real life doesn't work out the way I want -> I start to think how it could all be better, and from there it just keeps going. I worry about it sometime - oh my god I let my life slipp away! - but then, as an effect, I just drift off into the above mentioned cycle and then it feels better again, when I ultimately get back to reality again
and then it feels better again, when I ultimately get back to reality again cutie12452
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mrsme said:
I didn't know any body else was going through this. I thought I was the only one.
Hello,
Welcome to the forum cutie12452
Like what most people have put on here, day dreaming is fine, and like you; I do it all the time when I'm listening to music too. But it seems slightly excessive if it's all the time
One suggestions is that your life isn't exiting or exotic as your daydreams and you'd rather spend more time dreaming because of this. Another suggestion is that it could be a coping mechanism for the monotonous life events?
Either way maybe you can try spicing up your life somehow, visit new places, go on holiday or anything that you find exciting or interesting?
Welcome to the forum cutie12452
Like what most people have put on here, day dreaming is fine, and like you; I do it all the time when I'm listening to music too. But it seems slightly excessive if it's all the time
One suggestions is that your life isn't exiting or exotic as your daydreams and you'd rather spend more time dreaming because of this. Another suggestion is that it could be a coping mechanism for the monotonous life events?
Either way maybe you can try spicing up your life somehow, visit new places, go on holiday or anything that you find exciting or interesting?
D
daughter of the moon
Guest
I found this rather "old" thread when trying to find out if anyone had written anything about "maladaptive daydreaming" on here. (I could paste a lengthy definition here for you, but I'm sure you know how to use google just fine )
Anyway, I only learned a few days ago there was actually a word for it! Maladaptive daydreaming.... hmm, so that's what I've been doing since my early teenage years And am still doing it, by the way (I'm going on 32, like I mentioned in other threads before). I don't see anything wrong with it per se. Many people on the internet seem very bothered by it and looking for ways to stop it, but alas, for me it's quite the opposite. I'm actually looking forward to every free moment I get during the weekends to cuddle up in bed and get in a nice chunk of daydreaming I don't know if I originally started doing it because of my depression or my loneliness, but I've dreamed up a nice few "parallel" existences over the years and I must say it is a nice escape mechanism, as long as you never forget you're actually making things up in your mind. I feel it can be quite beneficial: Every so often I run into situations that stress me out, annoy me or bug me (and I don't handle stress well, believe me!), and then I find myself retreating to my secret place and talking myself through it with my secret place friends..... it calms me down and helps me put things in another perspective - just to mention one example.
This is all I'll say about my own MD right now because it really is such a personal topic. Just wanted to throw it out here and see if maybe someone wants to talk about it - if not, I'll just make someone up. LOL Just kidding
Whoever is reading this, you're the only ones who know this about me
)Anyway, I only learned a few days ago there was actually a word for it! Maladaptive daydreaming.... hmm, so that's what I've been doing since my early teenage years
And am still doing it, by the way (I'm going on 32, like I mentioned in other threads before). I don't see anything wrong with it per se. Many people on the internet seem very bothered by it and looking for ways to stop it, but alas, for me it's quite the opposite. I'm actually looking forward to every free moment I get during the weekends to cuddle up in bed and get in a nice chunk of daydreaming I don't know if I originally started doing it because of my depression or my loneliness, but I've dreamed up a nice few "parallel" existences over the years and I must say it is a nice escape mechanism, as long as you never forget you're actually making things up in your mind. I feel it can be quite beneficial: Every so often I run into situations that stress me out, annoy me or bug me (and I don't handle stress well, believe me!), and then I find myself retreating to my secret place and talking myself through it with my secret place friends..... it calms me down and helps me put things in another perspective - just to mention one example. This is all I'll say about my own MD right now because it really is such a personal topic. Just wanted to throw it out here and see if maybe someone wants to talk about it - if not, I'll just make someone up. LOL
Just kidding Whoever is reading this, you're the only ones who know this about me
