Dealing with Depression and Loneliness

[ScorpioIris]

I feel like life is tourturing me right now. All I have is my mom, dad, and my brother. I have no friends. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he was too busy touring with his band not having a back-up plan for his life. He is 25 years old and has no car, license, GED/high school diploma, no drive to go to college. The only reason why I held on too him for so long was because I loved him and he was all I had. His friends are all pigs. My ex-boyfriend is also a type 1 diabetic and he gets drunk all the time. I can't even make it through the work day without crying. I'm so depressed. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom twice this week at work just to cry. I feel like my life just gets worse. It never gets better. Ever since the death of my son, things just keep going down hill. They never get better. For those who didn't read my introduction forum: I lost my son from shaken baby syndrome. My ex husband shook him while I was at the library. This happened about three years ago and I haven't been able to function normally since then. I'm not the same person anymore. I wish I could have the old me back, but it seems like it will never happen. I think I have Bipolar disorder. I have severe mood changes, paranoid delusions, and some serious depression. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost.

 

[vertigo]

You had a hard life, it's only normal to feel overwhelmed and depressed. I know words can only provide a limited amount of comfort, but you have to continue moving forward, thing will change eventually. Time will heal you, it'll make things easier, more bearable. You'll find yourself again, but until then you can't start building a wall around yourself, isolating yourself, because that'll only leave you in greater unrest.

If you ever want someone to talk to about anything then feel free to send me a PM.

 

[Jesse]

Hi there. I'm deeply sorry for your loss and the things that have happened to you. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but have you heard the story of Job? He had land, children, wealth, health, he had everything and he lost it all. Eventually he overcame the lowest point in his life and gained twice as much as he had before.

Don't ever lose hope that happiness will come. ((hugs))

 

[Haven]

friends are people you can share experiences with people who wil support you told us your feelings and all these people took time out of there day to support you we may not all be in the same place but you do have friends stay strong

 

[Lonesome Crow]

((((((((ScorpioIrs))))))))))))

I'm sorry for all your losts.

I know there's nothing anyone can say or do to remove the pains
Greiving for people you love is one the hardest thing anyone can go through.
There different stage and it dosn't come in a particular order.
And there's no paticular time line.
Everybody reacts to it different.
Please don't be down on yourself no matter what.
It's okay to feel what you feel.

I know when Jake passed away...It changed me.
When the twins died...It turn my world upside down.
I also lost my Ex-gf in the process...She didnt know how to process any of it.
She relasped into drinking and taking her pills to cope...
It was a constant struggle to try save her life. I lost her too the day the twins died.
I fought her addictions for years and it took everything out of me.
She's not the same...I'm not the same person anymore.

When Jenni died last year...I went into a total tail spin.
I didn't know how to process any of it anymore.
My perception on life ...everything..everything changed.
Half of the time I thought I was going crazy.

I too live with my parents, now. My parents are more understanding.
Never the less...Life was fragture.
I didn't even know where to begin picking up the piece or wanted to pick up the piece.

I've lost everything. The poeple I love most..I got laid off from my job.
I don't have a dime in my name. I don't drink or use drugs.
I didn't cuase problem for anyone. I just went to work and came home to my family.
I had my own home and my own family. A life that most people wanted.

I don't know why I'm still alive today...I just try to go on as best I can.
Somedays..my ass falls off.

I started reaching out.
Talk to people...anyone
I started attending support group meetings...so that I stopped isolating myself.
My sponsor helps me with my co-dependency issues I have with my EX
Jenni...I just grieve as best I can. i cried for 6 month straigth. i didn't know what else to do.
I couldn't stop crying for days at a time.
Sometimes I even write letters to her today.
I tried to work my recovery program to best of my ablities.

I had a really, really hard time with the god thing. I had to learn how to turst again.
I had to learn how to live again..not being the same person as I was.

Today i have a HP I chose to belive..It's not the same HP I had 5 years ago.
I've changed...everything has changed.
I know there's healing for me...wheather it be the love of the people that helps me
or wheather it's the love of my god

I've been working on letting go. Just recently . it's helping me with my depression
never the less...tears still burns. Sometimes that's all I can do is just cry when I try to let go.

I'm able to luagh and smile today.
I'm grateful i can do that.
Sometimes I even feel happy today.
Sometimes life is even beautiful to me today.

I just reach out to anyone that would help me or listen to me.
I know when that day was...It was the day I sign up to this site.
it has been a journey.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

I feel like life is tourturing me right now. All I have is my mom, dad, and my brother. I have no friends. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he was too busy touring with his band not having a back-up plan for his life. He is 25 years old and has no car, license, GED/high school diploma, no drive to go to college. The only reason why I held on too him for so long was because I loved him and he was all I had. His friends are all pigs. My ex-boyfriend is also a type 1 diabetic and he gets drunk all the time. I can't even make it through the work day without crying. I'm so depressed. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom twice this week at work just to cry. I feel like my life just gets worse. It never gets better. Ever since the death of my son, things just keep going down hill. They never get better. For those who didn't read my introduction forum: I lost my son from shaken baby syndrome. My ex husband shook him while I was at the library. This happened about three years ago and I haven't been able to function normally since then. I'm not the same person anymore. I wish I could have the old me back, but it seems like it will never happen. I think I have Bipolar disorder. I have severe mood changes, paranoid delusions, and some serious depression. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost.

wow

This tale is horrible, i'm so sorry *hugz for ages*


i have a question on your ex-bft hough, did he use his diabetes as an excuse not to do things with you?

 

[Flood]

Sorry to hear about the tough experiences you've been through. You've made it this far and in time you will get stronger. After experiencing such a tragic situation if you haven't already started seeing a therapist you probably should. It would help you put things into perspective. Sharing your feelings on this forum (or with ppl offline) will also probably help and we are happy to listen.

 

[ScorpioIris]

I feel like life is tourturing me right now. All I have is my mom, dad, and my brother. I have no friends. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he was too busy touring with his band not having a back-up plan for his life. He is 25 years old and has no car, license, GED/high school diploma, no drive to go to college. The only reason why I held on too him for so long was because I loved him and he was all I had. His friends are all pigs. My ex-boyfriend is also a type 1 diabetic and he gets drunk all the time. I can't even make it through the work day without crying. I'm so depressed. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom twice this week at work just to cry. I feel like my life just gets worse. It never gets better. Ever since the death of my son, things just keep going down hill. They never get better. For those who didn't read my introduction forum: I lost my son from shaken baby syndrome. My ex husband shook him while I was at the library. This happened about three years ago and I haven't been able to function normally since then. I'm not the same person anymore. I wish I could have the old me back, but it seems like it will never happen. I think I have Bipolar disorder. I have severe mood changes, paranoid delusions, and some serious depression. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost.

wow

This tale is horrible, i'm so sorry *hugz for ages*


i have a question on your ex-bft hough, did he use his diabetes as an excuse not to do things with you?

He used his diabetes as an excuse not to drive/get his license. He used his diabetes as an excuse not to better himself. It's almost like having the disease gave him a complex. He used his diabetes as an excuse not to take walks at the park or go to the beach, but then he would go to the bar and drink himself retarded. He was totally capable of doing that.