Depression the how I was before and after.

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Mar 13, 2011
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Hi everyone, My name is Roger I am an 18 year old Mexican male living in the USA. I have been reading a bunch of threads and posts people have made and I started to realize something.

That something is this. A lot of stuff people talk about how they feel (hopeless, sad, feeling of wanting to die, felling like you will never be anything, etc) I used to feel like that too. But I felt like that before I got help from a doctor for depression.

Well let me tell you how I got help. One day I just got sick of felling that way so I talked to a Doctor and he put me on this medicine called citalopra 60mg. He told me the medicine takes about a month to build up in my system and that I would have to wait and see how things went.

So the days start going by and slowly I start felling better until one day I feel "normal". Before I used to feel like I was never going to be anything, like I was a failure in this world. I would feel sad and lonely 24/7 unless I was under the influence of some illegal drug. I felt terrible I felt like everything would be better if I was just dead. I didn't really have any friends and would walk around by my self to random stores and steel beer just to keep myself busy. I would stay out really late and whenever I would see a group of people when it was late at night I would think to myself "God wouldn't it be great if they just robbed me and killed me, they would be doing me a favor." I would have crazy thoughts like that. I was also really shy and cute girls really scared me. When ever I would see a cute girl I would go as far as to crossing the street just to avoid them and I would always think that they were judging me and thinking I was really ugly or something. I would also avoid people because of how shy I was. I liked being alone and was a bit affraid of going to public places. I also was more comfortable going out in when it was dark so that people couldn't really see my face because I always thought I was being Judged.
But now, 5 months ever since I got my medicine I feel way different. Now I feel like everything is going to be ok. I feel like I am allright I know I am not the cutest guy in the world in fact I know I am a bit on the ugly side. BUT I am ok with that. It doesn't matter anymore. Before it bothered me a lot but now it doesn't bother me a bit. Now I feel like going to collage and getting a good job and finding a girl, having kids and stuff like that. Before I was %100 hopeless. I still dont really have any true friends. But I am ok with that I know who I am and I am %100 comfortable with the person I am. Before I was out of shape and I was a bit chubby I weighed about 170 pounds and had a big belly. Then when everything started becoming clear in my mind about 4 months ago I began weight lifting and eating the way a weight lifter should and now I weigh 205 pounds and I am in crazy shape. I have the body I've allways wanted. This adds even more confidence to my self. And that thing with the cute girls, being afraid of that I kinda laugh to my self when ever I remind my self of how terrible I was with girls. Now I walk up to cute girls at a bus stop or talk to random cute girls I see. I now start conversations with strangers and have a friendly chat to pass time with random people. It's great feeling like this. Talking to random people was something I would never do before. And you know what. I just thought of something right now as I am writing this, I havent felt hopeless in MONTHS!!! wow I always think to myself when I remind myself of how I used to be.

That medicine helped so much. I am so happy I got help for my depression. Maybe some of you have depression as I can relate so much to the things people say. I can tell you I talked to a doctor and everything I explained, the way I used to feel, those are symptoms of depression. If you can relate to the way I used to feel. Maybe you need help too. What are the cons of going to a doctor and talking to them about his???? the only one I can think of is a financial con. BUT THE PROS = a better life a more happier state of mind. Please if you feel you have depression see a doctor get some help Imagine feeling the way I do. If you dont have depression maybe you have something else. You can get help if you really need it. I beg you to seek it. I hope this helped you. And please if this convinced you to seek help let me know in a PM it will make me feel really good. And thats what we all want in the end, feeling good about helping. =)
From your Friend
Roger =)
I will agree that medicine does help, I am currently on both Zoloft and Xanax, however it does just It doesn't magically fix everything. I will say though I do feel a hell of a lot more stable than I did before going on it. I still have the same issues, just not as intense. I encourage everyone to find a medicine that works for them if they can. You won't feel as helpless and suicidal.

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