disappointed in life

[poorsoul]

I have been feeling very lonely for months and its getting worse. I feel very sad on some days. I am usually under a great deal of stress because of school, work and other stuff. I really need someone to talk to on a more personal basis...

I am Indian and having a gf is really discouraged in my culture. There is usually a arranged marriage once you have a good career. In my case, that won't be happening for another 4-5 years. I really hate being single.

I live with my parents but my relationship with them is not really that great. Its very "formal." I can't really openly discuss my feelings/thoughts.

what should I do??

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Love yourself first and formost.
Yes...reachout and talk to someone that will listen to you.
Try to stay focus with your education. It won't solve all your living challenges but it'll open doors for you.

I'm not from India so I wouldn't know a lot about your culture.
However I was born in Thailand then imergrated to the USA when I was a child. While i might be more aware of different
cultures and values.

Never the less...it's still kind of the same in the USA.
It's not rule or law to not have a gf but it's not recommended that you get a girl pregnant or get married until you have a stable career.
It's common sence actaully...you have to be self supporting before you can raise a family.
You get a chick pregnant in the USA, a Judge will be making arrangements to take money out of your pay check.lol
Heck back in the 80s-90s there was a major thing with women in the USA...stainght up they'll say " U gatta have a job, if you want to be with me".lol

So,..... is arranged marriage a law in india or just a culture thing?

Going againts the grain and not comforming is actally heahtly. There's a lot of wacked out ideas and beliefs in the USA too, so
don't feel too disappointed.

On the flip side...there's alot of dudes in the USA that can't get laid, so arranged marriage wouldn't be so bad for them
The diviorce rate is around 50/50...so there's really no garantee in life or a best way no matter where we live...

yeah...that would totally suck if my parents made me married someone that I didn't love or visa versa...
I can't imagine a woman being made to love me....I be afriad of her stabbing my eyes out in my sleep or poisoning my dinner.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, I'd try to sit the parents down, and tell them you'd like to be able to talk to them more. If that doesn't work, there's always people here for you to talk to. Or perhaps someone you know at school will sit and talk with you.

Find a way to relax. Stressing isn't good, and there's always a way to relax, even if it's reading a book in your room alone. Or napping. I find napping is a good way to relax.

 

[h i]

online girlfriend?

 

[Resolve]

I have been feeling very lonely for months and its getting worse. I feel very sad on some days. I am usually under a great deal of stress because of school, work and other stuff. I really need someone to talk to on a more personal basis...

I am Indian and having a gf is really discouraged in my culture. There is usually a arranged marriage once you have a good career. In my case, that won't be happening for another 4-5 years. I really hate being single.

I live with my parents but my relationship with them is not really that great. Its very "formal." I can't really openly discuss my feelings/thoughts.

what should I do??

Reaching out here is a good place to start.

It sounds like you are able to identify your feelings and the reasons why, that is a good start. Everyone has the same needs for companionship and comfort etc. but it doesn't always happen. Sometimes is doesn't even happen when one is already in a relationship because there is some form of distance occuring. All you really can do for now, is stay in touch with your need, while continuing on with your normal daily living. Be careful to not become cynical and detatched from your emotions due to the pain they bring you. Instead, be gentle with yourself, and tuck your needs away in a safe place within your heart and mind, for a better time to allow them to be active. There is much wonderment in the world, there is so much to explore, both within and outside of yourself. Continue to explore, so that you can one day offer a girl, the very best of "you."

Regarding a marriage that might possibly be an arranged one? Any two perople can learn to love eachother through positive bonding. Positive bonding occures with empathy, and should you both find yourselves having to marry eachother due to forced arrangement, then you will likely both be sharing a similar mental and emotional experience. You would absolutely not be alone in it.

Write a letter to yourself, or to a girl who you either know and like, or haven't met yet. Expressing specific desires, is healthy. In other words, stay in touch with "love languages", even if their only desination is to paper, and then mirrored back to yourself.

You have my best wishes. Take care and good luck!

 

[Phaedron]

what should I do??

I had to learn the hard way that its not a good idea to get involved before you have some kind of life of your own... But perhaps gaining some experience with the opposite sex would do you some good...

I think you must weigh the wisdom and ways of your culture against the temptations of the modern world. You are caught between having little or no choice and having too much choice...

Too much choice... is how I would describe love in the modern world... With the ability to connect to anyone in the world continually upgrading your love life has never been easier...

However the pre-arranged marriage teaches a valuable lesson. It teaches us to create love instead of trading infatuations. It teaches us to face our issues instead of running away from them into the arms of another. When love is triumphant here it becomes a profound and marvelous statement...

If I were in your shoes I would probably want to go on a vision quest...

Also... I'm 28 now, but when I was younger I know what it's like to feel very distant from your parents or not be able to talk to them... I made some assumptions about mine, and then some things happened and I was actually surprised that they cared...

 

[christenajenifer]

When one feels disappointed in life, what sort of approach one should adopt?

A POSITIVE approach, of course :
Convince yourself that this disappointment is only a temporary setback to your plans, and begin by taking practical steps [one step at a time, please !] towards overcoming what had disappointed you...
There is an old adage, that 'Failure is the first step to Success'. Well, consider this disappointment as the second step !

 

[Unique Unicorn]

PoorSoul you have a lot to look forward to in the future. It sounds like you are getting a great education and at the very least your family 'love' you, it may not be in the way you presently need, but no doubt it is love.

Can you try writing letters to a Pen Friends?, I know it sounds kind of 'dorky' but there is still a real art (which incidentally is almost now lost) of letter writing, it allows you to process you inner most thoughts.

I know there is a site where potential 'pen friends' advertise and you start communicating. I will try to find it and post the link.

Focus on your future and remember that nothing lasts forever and so too this will pass!