disappointment...

[cool_breeze]

Hello people. I am not sure how much more disappointment I can take. I think Spectacles and some others on here understand what I mean. I'm late 20s and all I ask is a good companion to go through life with and some decent work. These things seem to be eluding me my whole life no matter what I do. If you met me you would think I was completely normal, no problems at all really, and in fact I get a fair amount of compliments. I like talking to people and interacting. I just want things to stick to me. Everything seems so fleeting. Life is just too disappointing. Maybe it's the family I was born into. I know there are plenty of people with good lives who didn't have great families though and mine wasn't that bad. I just feel like I can't take any more disappointment. Hell I'm able bodied, smart, people say I'm good looking. But it's like none of it even matters. I guess I'm still fairly young. I just want to snap into my groove. It always seems like everyone knows exactly what they want to be doing all the time. Why don't I feel like that? I'm a free thinker, maybe too independent? Sometimes things are just better when I do them myself. I like the way I do a lot of things. I sure wish I had a close companion to do that stuff with though and could get some good work too not just pay the bills... :/ I'm really quite disappointed. I always seem to have to make due with less. I don't want to do it anymore, especially when I really DO have a lot to offer. It's just not finding it's place... :/ I'm never the guy who catches any breaks it seems...

 

[Sci-Fi]

OMG I feel like you are reading my mind, I feel the exact same way. Every single thing you said except my family (aunts/uncles) don't get along very well and I'm in my mid 30's. I have one Aunt who's a two-faced backstabber and an Uncle who's stubborn and selfish. The other two are okay. I feel like I'm just not getting anywhere no matter what I do or how hard I try, nothing seems to get better. With any step forward something always pops up to take me a few steps back right in the same spot. I'm stuck in neutral.

I often wonder the same thing when I meet people who seem to know what they want and do it. I even tend to gravitate towards people like that. I have this part time student who works for me that is the complete opposite of me and I'm fascinated by people like that. He's a teenager and he's always happy go lucky, always in a good mood, outgoing, loves to experience life. I try to understand how people like that can not let things get to them or just live life with no fears, no anxieties, no hold bars. They just do. I have a hard time getting past my fears, shyness, anxieties, to just let go sometimes.

Like you I know I have a lot to offer, people compliment me all the time, I get customers who who will compliment me out of the blue. These people are technically strangers to me. I'll even have (sometimes lengthy) conversations with these people. Even topics I have no interest in I take interest in what they are saying and listen. I've had new customers come in and tell me that a friend/family or neighbour told them to come see me, and usually carry a compliment with it, that I'm helpful and nice or a good person. I'm not trying to brag because whenever I hear it for some reason it takes me by surprise or completely embarrasses me. I often feel like I'm just doing my job and trying to do the best I can. I recently read a review a customer made when renting a UHaul from my place of work (a side thing we do for extra money), they completely crapped on UHaul and the way the run things, but raved about my place of work and even used caps when complimenting us.

Yet I feeling the same way you do, it just doesn't make sense to me at all. Sorry to ramble on so much.

 

[cool_breeze]

Hey cool. I didn't think it was a ramble. So it sounds like me then. You have some positives going but something is still missing too. I really don't think I can go on like this. Anyone who I've talked to on here lately probably knows I met a girl in another country I really liked but who has disappeared lately. I probably wouldn't even be on here if she was around. That's all I ask. Why can't I just have a nice life with her? In the grand scheme of things my life is probably about average but I don't know how much more disappointment I can take. It seems like I'm usually getting a little less in life than the people around me.

I want to turn my life around. Hell I'm not a drug addict or a drop out, I'm an interesting guy that most people like. But I always seem to be getting a little less money, less opportunity, and most importantly less love. What's the point of doing another year like this? I can even be the life of the party and have great social skills when I want to. But success seems to beget success. It's like the people with loving relationships and money get even more love and more money. I don't want to be disappointed anymore...

 

[Jilted John]

Hey cool. I didn't think it was a ramble. So it sounds like me then. You have some positives going but something is still missing too. I really don't think I can go on like this. Anyone who I've talked to on here lately probably knows I met a girl in another country I really liked but who has disappeared lately. I probably wouldn't even be on here if she was around. That's all I ask. Why can't I just have a nice life with her? In the grand scheme of things my life is probably about average but I don't know how much more disappointment I can take. It seems like I'm usually getting a little less in life than the people around me.

I want to turn my life around. Hell I'm not a drug addict or a drop out, I'm an interesting guy that most people like. But I always seem to be getting a little less money, less opportunity, and most importantly less love. What's the point of doing another year like this? I can even be the life of the party and have great social skills when I want to. But success seems to beget success. It's like the people with loving relationships and money get even more love and more money. I don't want to be disappointed anymore...

Hi Cool Breeze.
If he thinks he's rambling you should here this! When I was your age,I was married to a beautiful girl,had my own house, everything was going my way,I didn't think so at the time, I was just living my life.
Twenty years later,with two young kids,company car,house nearly paid for,I was made redundant, my wife ran off with a younger bloke,my Mom died suddenly,I had to remortgage the house to pay off ex wife,just before the property crash of the early 90's, oh! & my old dog died.
I lost everything (apart from my kids,she didn't want them) So as you can imagine,I was pretty down,negative,and felt there was nothing much to live for but had no choice.(I had kids to bring up) and nothing much has changed,except the kids have grown up long since,In fact I am now a proud grand father of Tom aged 9.
But the whole reason for this babble is that luck is a positive/negative thing,the lower you get the worse your luck.Have you ever won money when you needed it?
It's not a winner/loser thing,it's an attitude thing.
Regards.
John.

PS.(hope this didn't bore the honeysuckle of you to much)

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yeah, like my most of my high school and childhood friends are all either or have been married and have kids. Even my friend that's a lesbian has kids. I have none and no one.

Do you have trust issues? I know that's one of my problems. There was someone I cared about and she claimed she cared about me, I helped her through a rough time in her life. She claimed she was committed to me. She even made us promise each other that if we ever found someone else we'd tell the each other right away. She didn't want us to put either through what she went through with her marriage. Then after awhile I don't hear from her, I start feeling like I was being used, then I find out she's hooked up with some new guy. WTF?

You know what I do, I try to find happiness where I can. I still chat with my friends once in a while (the only plus to facebook) and in the things I do that keep me happy or busy. I've made it this far, but the need to have a family and relationship is really starting to weigh on me.

Somethings gotta happen right? One of these days when the time is right. It's so discouraging at times, seeing all those happy people, but even those so called happy people have problems too.

"I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep." - Joker. Batman 1989

 

[cool_breeze]

Hey Sci-fi: trust issues? I don't think so really. Well, I trust people half and half basically. I tend to trust people people in a normal sense but then you can really only trust yourself on the other hand.

Hi Cool Breeze.
If he thinks he's rambling you should here this! When I was your age,I was married to a beautiful girl,had my own house, everything was going my way,I didn't think so at the time, I was just living my life.
Twenty years later,with two young kids,company car,house nearly paid for,I was made redundant, my wife ran off with a younger bloke,my Mom died suddenly,I had to remortgage the house to pay off ex wife,just before the property crash of the early 90's, oh! & my old dog died.
I lost everything (apart from my kids,she didn't want them) So as you can imagine,I was pretty down,negative,and felt there was nothing much to live for but had no choice.(I had kids to bring up) and nothing much has changed,except the kids have grown up long since,In fact I am now a proud grand father of Tom aged 9.
But the whole reason for this babble is that luck is a positive/negative thing,the lower you get the worse your luck.Have you ever won money when you needed it?
It's not a winner/loser thing,it's an attitude thing.
Regards.
John.

PS.(hope this didn't bore the honeysuckle of you to much)

Hey John. I'm sure that sucks. Maybe this is wrong but when I hear something like this I think well at least you had a good run of 20 years. Then again maybe it was "fake" if your wife left you when things got rough. Yeah I see what you mean about how "luck is a positive/negative thing,the lower you get the worse your luck.Have you ever won money when you needed it?
It's not a winner/loser thing,it's an attitude thing." It sounds like what I said about how "success seems to beget success. It's like the people with loving relationships and money get even more love and more money." Things seem to build on themselves.


How is everything such a momentum thing? It's like the universe can read your mind. If you have good thoughts and some stuff going on then even more comes to you it seems. It's strange. Hmm...

 

[Jonah]

Here's my advice.

The main reasons for disapointment in many aspects of life is because our inner beliefs that sometimes drives us to believe that we are going to be successful, rich, famous or oustanding in education. these are beliefs that sometimes come from powerful marketing strategies that get into out heads and make us believe. I have come across these kinds of strategies which in my eyes simply never work for me. If someone trieds to sell me a cup of tea, I would buy a coffee from the shop next door. If someone said to me would like to join me for a cup of tea, i would say yes sure. You see when you find the part of you that drives your inner beliefs you are almost in full connection with yourself. Even better, when you beome so good at understanding yourself you won't let anything get in your way, as long as it's sensible I consider this a very important aspect of learning about how we can be succesful. It's simple for me, I'll keep going with my plans but when the environment i'm in is stopping me, that's because i should move or create an environment that helps me educate my mind. For example since logging on to this forum I feel freedom and can communicate well. It's a good environment for me. Like our neigbours from hell next door however who will try and stop you even making a cup of tea because they get in your mind shouting, screaming and all shananigans that come with disturbance.

Dont feed the kids to much honey folks, and read the book wise children. I'm happy to here in this forum and hope that we can all learn from each other.

Jonah

 

[cool_breeze]

Here's my advice.

The main reasons for disapointment in many aspects of life is because our inner beliefs that sometimes drives us to believe that we are going to be successful, rich, famous or oustanding in education. these are beliefs that sometimes come from powerful marketing strategies that get into out heads and make us believe. I have come across these kinds of strategies which in my eyes simply never work for me. If someone trieds to sell me a cup of tea, I would buy a coffee from the shop next door. If someone said to me would like to join me for a cup of tea, i would say yes sure. You see when you find the part of you that drives your inner beliefs you are almost in full connection with yourself. Even better, when you beome so good at understanding yourself you won't let anything get in your way, as long as it's sensible I consider this a very important aspect of learning about how we can be succesful. It's simple for me, I'll keep going with my plans but when the environment i'm in is stopping me, that's because i should move or create an environment that helps me educate my mind. For example since logging on to this forum I feel freedom and can communicate well. It's a good environment for me. Like our neigbours from hell next door however who will try and stop you even making a cup of tea because they get in your mind shouting, screaming and all shananigans that come with disturbance.

Dont feed the kids to much honey folks, and read the book wise children. I'm happy to here in this forum and hope that we can all learn from each other.

Jonah

Yeah. I'm not much for marketing. We won't all be rich and famous but a middle class life we're happy with shouldn't be too much to ask.

The other part of what you said I think is really good. Understanding yourself and being in the right environment. I agree with it. Success has 2 parts I think, what we do and where we are and really the intersection of the 2. So thanks for the comment.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Speaking of marketing and buying a cup of coffee from the shop next door, I hate negative marketing. Like Pepsi, I don't buy it because they have repeatedly bashed Coca Cola in their ads. Same with Mac, I would never buy one because they had those string of commercials bashing PC's. Now there's a phone company using that same format to bash their competition. If there product is that good why do they have to do marketing blitzes that bash the competition? I deal with sales people on a regular basis, and when a salesman wants to bash their competition all I start to hear is wah wah wah wah wah. I like the salesman that say they won't say bad things about their competition, they have a good product and stand behind it. That makes me want to deal with them. More are catching on to this, no one wants to hear what is wrong with the other guy, they want to know why they should buy your product. I once had a salesman who did nothing but run down his competition, and when I asked him what makes his product better the only thing he could come up with is, "It just is."

Just like people, when all they want to do is run another person down to make themselves feel/look better. It doesn't, you look like a jackass. You're marketing yourself in a negative light. Like people who want to run you down or hate you that don't even know you.

 

[Jilted John]

Hey Sci-fi: trust issues? I don't think so really. Well, I trust people half and half basically. I tend to trust people people in a normal sense but then you can really only trust yourself on the other hand.

Hi Cool Breeze.
If he thinks he's rambling you should here this! When I was your age,I was married to a beautiful girl,had my own house, everything was going my way,I didn't think so at the time, I was just living my life.
Twenty years later,with two young kids,company car,house nearly paid for,I was made redundant, my wife ran off with a younger bloke,my Mom died suddenly,I had to remortgage the house to pay off ex wife,just before the property crash of the early 90's, oh! & my old dog died.
I lost everything (apart from my kids,she didn't want them) So as you can imagine,I was pretty down,negative,and felt there was nothing much to live for but had no choice.(I had kids to bring up) and nothing much has changed,except the kids have grown up long since,In fact I am now a proud grand father of Tom aged 9.
But the whole reason for this babble is that luck is a positive/negative thing,the lower you get the worse your luck.Have you ever won money when you needed it?
It's not a winner/loser thing,it's an attitude thing.
Regards.
John.

PS.(hope this didn't bore the honeysuckle of you to much)

Hey John. I'm sure that sucks. Maybe this is wrong but when I hear something like this I think well at least you had a good run of 20 years. Then again maybe it was "fake" if your wife left you when things got rough. Yeah I see what you mean about how "luck is a positive/negative thing,the lower you get the worse your luck.Have you ever won money when you needed it?
It's not a winner/loser thing,it's an attitude thing." It sounds like what I said about how "success seems to beget success. It's like the people with loving relationships and money get even more love and more money." Things seem to build on themselves.


How is everything such a momentum thing? It's like the universe can read your mind. If you have good thoughts and some stuff going on then even more comes to you it seems. It's strange. Hmm...

Hi Cool breeze!
Yes it is strange,good luck begets good luck & vice versa.
Yet scientists would argue luck is a fifty/fifty chance.
You know it's not,and so do I.

 

[cool_breeze]

Ya it's strange. The universe is complicated. Of course having a good attitude seems to help and pushing things in a positive direction. Some of the stuff we're finding out about quantum physics explains some of the wacky things that happen. Also, everything living emits some waves. The waves are different depending on your mood and thoughts and stuff. Maybe it's like chaos theory. Everything affects everything else even if it's just a tiny little bit. It's strange and there are many reasons for the nature of luck it seems.

---

Hi Cool breeze!
Yes it is strange,good luck begets good luck & vice versa.
Yet scientists would argue luck is a fifty/fifty chance.
You know it's not,and so do I.

Seems like a lot of us could use a jump start somehow to get things going... Hmm...

 

[Jilted John]

Ya it's strange. The universe is complicated. Of course having a good attitude seems to help and pushing things in a positive direction. Some of the stuff we're finding out about quantum physics explains some of the wacky things that happen. Also, everything living emits some waves. The waves are different depending on your mood and thoughts and stuff. Maybe it's like chaos theory. Everything affects everything else even if it's just a tiny little bit. It's strange and there are many reasons for the nature of luck it seems.

---

Hi Cool breeze!
Yes it is strange,good luck begets good luck & vice versa.
Yet scientists would argue luck is a fifty/fifty chance.
You know it's not,and so do I.

Seems like a lot of us could use a jump start somehow to get things going... Hmm...

---

It gets stranger,when I joined this thread it was a philosophical question ending up as a physics question.I started of a thread in the Debate Forum that started as physics question and is ending up as a philosophical question! Perhaps you can help me out there? Where do the two meet/cross over?
Cheers
John.

 

[Itsdarkb4thedawn]

It’s very easy to lose sight and forget the content of what was written and how the thread started.

Maybe I can add to what’s been written up till now.

I would compare my life to a book; I would call it,” The book of life”. It may even be a best seller as like any good book it contains, the good I’ve done, the bad I’ve done, the love I’ve had, the love I’ve lost, material things I’ve had/lost or just pissed away, good times, bad times, the list goes on. I can only look back through the book and never forward as the future is unwritten and in many ways this is a history book for I truly don’t know what the next minute will bring let alone the next day. The future is unknown and we can see this as either frightening or exciting so never give up on a happy ending.

 

[cool_breeze]

Ya, that's interesting. Jilted John I was preparing a reply also but then I had to reset and lost it. I think I found the other thread you were talking about and wrote a reply there though.

So ya, happy ending. Last night I read a story about a frustrated young Taiwanese guy in America who wasn't happy and it took him a long time and eventually he was much happier living in the Philippines or something. He said America is the only place where you can be outgoing, nice, and still lonely and not fulfilled. Hmm.

I guess the whole deal is I don't want to wait for the "ending." It seems like I always get so close to something happening but then it doesn't, hence disappointment.