Disappointment.

[geordy70]

I believe that my greatest fear i could possibly think of is the fear of disappointment. One of the worst feelings ive ever had was to disappoint someone else. I have disappointed myself enough to the point where i cant even trust myself anymore. I couldnt even finish the workout i set up for myself today.

Its crazy, im more scared of the fact that i would disappoint someone in the near future than the fact that i will die someday. I'm not sure if its normal to fear anything worse than death. Im not even sure how to deal with this problem.

I have cured my depression, yet these thoughts keep pouring into my head.

Can i live up to everyone's expectations? Can i really be the kind of person everyone believes i can be? Thinking about sports, i told a coach my times and he said i need to get slightly faster to be a walk on for that school. He also said he is expecting me to get faster. My aunt also told me today that she was expecting me to get Straight A's. My mom was expecting me to get a job by the end of the year. My coach is expecting me to be better by the time we finish mid-terms. And my rival in my races from another school is expecting me to keep up with him.

When someone expects something from me it scares me to death. Whats even scarier is how much everyone expects from me. I can kind of understand why i wanted to be alone now. I still want to keep pushing forward, and this fear is an obstacle in my path, but how do i deal with it? It doesn't feel like something i can just ignore...

 

[Zetsubou-Sensei]

Sounds just like my life (sad smile).
I wish I could give you some advice, but I still can't resolve this issue for myself, let alone help others.

That said, this fear, and self-distrust we seem to share - for me it started after a relationship ended - did any particular event trigger these feelings for you?

 

[geordy70]

Sounds just like my life (sad smile).
I wish I could give you some advice, but I still can't resolve this issue for myself, let alone help others.

That said, this fear, and self-distrust we seem to share - for me it started after a relationship ended - did any particular event trigger these feelings for you?

lots of friends betrayed my trust ever since elementary school, and my father constantly rose my expectations, only to destroy them in the end. Thats the most significant i could think of.

 

[Zetsubou-Sensei]

I think something important to keep in mind is that the reason these people are expecting these things from you is that they honestly think that you can do it (which is pretty good, don't you think?). Also, remember that it is more or less impossible to keep everyone happy, and try to think that whenever you feel like you have let someone down. It might even help to try to tell these people that you were unable to do X because you were under a lot of pressure to do Y instead.

I'm sorry to hear about your elementary school and dad, though.

 

[Tiina63]

Other people's expectations can feel like a sack of bricks on your back, so heavy to carry. Do you even want to carry them? I have spent my life being what others have expected me to be and am still struggling with it. If these goals are your own goals as well, this is ok. But if they are not, I hope you can find the stength to search for your own goals.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Don't worry about living up to anyone's expectations or being someone people believe you can be. Focus on your own expectations and no one else, and be who you want to be not what people think or want you to be.

Just do the best you can. If you feel like you can do better next time then aim higher. It's your life, you live it how you want to live it, what makes you happy.

 

[Murmur]

Don't worry about living up to anyone's expectations or being someone people believe you can be. Focus on your own expectations and no one else, and be who you want to be not what people think or want you to be.

THIS^^^^ Exactly this. Don't worry about other people, focus on what makes YOU happy and do it!

 

[geordy70]

The only problem is that i dont know what my goals are i constantly look inside myself to find out what my intrests are, but i cant seem to find anything... It seems like i can do many things better than most people, and im like an overall talented person, but i lack nearly ALL motivation. the only motivation i can feel is the motivation to stay alive and avoid fear.. i feel selfish for having such a talented body and life and being so useless, while there are other people struggling to have what i have. I kind of wish i could just give my life away to someone who can use it better than me, someone with more motivation...