Disconnected

[Sci-Fi]

I guess that's the only way to explain how I've been feeling for awhile now, since when a tornado ripped through the town I live in. I just don't feel myself anymore. I had to live at work for a week and half which nearly drove me crazy. I never felt so alone in my life. Since then I've found it hard to be happy and some people have taken notice. There are days where I'm in a good mood, but those are seldom. Plus my apprehension about the coming winter has my nerves shot.

Business was slower this year, as it has been with a lot of businesses except my boss thinks it just us. At one point he wanted to let my only part timer go, which was shorting after the tornado hit this town, good timing eh? I can't do this job alone, it is impossible considering I do the work of 3 people as it is now. He doesn't understand that.

My part timer thinks I'm in a bad mood, which I'm not, he's just not used to me being quiet. Normally I talk a lot and he doesn't like me being the way I have been. Even a person in a league I'm in on an online game asked me if I was okay. I've talked to a few friends on here privately who've been great about listening to my ramblings.

I just don't know what to do to get myself out of this. I just want to go back to my normal self. I've lost all ambition to do any of the drawing or writing I do, or my other hobbies. I just want to stop feeling down.

 

[Naleena]

((((((((((((((((SciFi))))))))))))))))))) sounds like your under a lot of pressure. Is it possible to take a small vacation to recharge? Maybe a little distance for a few days might help. Just a thought...

 

[cumulus.james]

I guess that's the only way to explain how I've been feeling for awhile now, since when a tornado ripped through the town I live in. I just don't feel myself anymore. I had to live at work for a week and half which nearly drove me crazy. I never felt so alone in my life. Since then I've found it hard to be happy and some people have taken notice. There are days where I'm in a good mood, but those are seldom. Plus my apprehension about the coming winter has my nerves shot.

Business was slower this year, as it has been with a lot of businesses except my boss thinks it just us. At one point he wanted to let my only part timer go, which was shorting after the tornado hit this town, good timing eh? I can't do this job alone, it is impossible considering I do the work of 3 people as it is now. He doesn't understand that.

My part timer thinks I'm in a bad mood, which I'm not, he's just not used to me being quiet. Normally I talk a lot and he doesn't like me being the way I have been. Even a person in a league I'm in on an online game asked me if I was okay. I've talked to a few friends on here privately who've been great about listening to my ramblings.

I just don't know what to do to get myself out of this. I just want to go back to my normal self. I've lost all ambition to do any of the drawing or writing I do, or my other hobbies. I just want to stop feeling down.

Sounds like you've got a bit of depression on which your finding hard to shake off. The only "Natural" things I know of that can help with that are Exercise, Getting enough sleep and those daylight boxes. Staying away from Alcohol for a while is recommended too (because alcohol depresses you).

 

[Callie]

I agree with Nal. It sounds like you just need a break from it all (((((Sci)))))

 

[Sci-Fi]

No worries with alcohol here, I don't drink. The closest thing I get to it is cough syrup.

I haven't had time off since last Christmas, probably won't until Christmas time this year either.

It's hard to shut my mind off, I can do this work blindfolded so it takes little brain power for me. When I'm at work all I do is worry about everything, when I go home I quickly escape into my online game. Half the time I even skip supper. Then when TV programs are on my brother and I just send emotes back and forth whether something was funny, lame, or shocking.

 

[Sprint]

It sounds like the tornado threw you off balance...PTSD. You may have to work through this before you can continue where you left off.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Maybe you should look into a different job which might stress you less? Instead of playing games, as fun as they go, go home and try to exercise/relax, then look for other options?

 

[rosebud]

You're depressed. When I was depressed I tried to do something different. That way the mind is thinking about new stuff, rather for your current condition. I can get what you're going through. For years now I'm feeling like I'm hit by a tornado myself. It sucks, but the situation is not that desperate. I hope you find your composure.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi Sci-Fi. I'm sorry to hear that things are so rough on you these days. My guess is that you are severely overwhelmed and in mild shock because of it. Perhaps if you focus on others that are far worse off than you, you might some solace in that knowledge. I'm not trying to minimize your stress level by any means, but the truth is there are so many out there that are suffering way beyond what most would consider a rough patch in life. Their entire life is a rough patch.

There is a member at the club who has 4 children and he and his wife are working very hard just to make ends meet and provide for their kids on modest pay. He was prescribed lorazepam to help take the edge off, but pills aren't a "Cure All". Most people's systems develop a rapid tolerance to tranqs and require higher doses to achieve the desired effect.

I've only been a here a short amount of time, but judging by your posts you seem to be a pretty intelligent person. Don't let this kick your ass. It would amaze you just how high a person can rise up against adversity of any magnitude through sheer force of will.

That Goddamn tornado didn't help things. You have my sincerest condolences with respect to what you are going through right now. Be strong and it will be you that kicks this problem's ass, not the other way around.

Godspeed.
Jason

 

[WishingWell]

Sci-Fi,

I totally agree with Sprint that you are most likely suffering from PTSD from the Tornado, not to mention the never-ending stress you have of having to work so much and not be able to take a vacation or seek another job.

Are there private therapists around you within your income bracket or ones that consider your income and outgoing bills and work from a Clinic that charges on a sliding scale? This should help with the PSTD. Therapy helped me when I was diagnosed with the disorder long ago for a different reason.

I also understand about LoneKillers' concern about becoming addicted to tranquillizers, but most people that get addicted are ones with addictive tendencies so I wouldn't worry about that now. I would get to a Doctor, if it is affordable and see if he/she will prescribe something will calm you down or another medication to help the PSTD and other stress you are dealing with, while you are working through it.

NOTHING lasts forever, unless you allow it too...Please do your best to seek help in both or at least one of the above ways.

((((((((((Sci-Fi))))))))))

 

[SophiaGrace]

The title of this thread makes me think of this song:

[youtube]0Re4qllZ32E[/youtube]

Sci fi I am sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. You are in my thoughts and you've always contributed good things to this forum. I want you to be happy, even though I understand that everyone must be unhappy and face difficult things in their life from time to time. I just, wish good people (such as yourself) didn't have to experience these things. It almost sounds as though you are getting burnt out, which can lead to depression...until the cause of your burnout is lifted. Maybe you shoudl start looking for a new job, one that isn't so stressful?

Take care of yourself sci-fi. Get plenty of rest okay? You are emotionally and probably physically exhausted.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Thanks everyone for your replies. The destruction the tornado caused here has made an impact on me. The worst thing I've ever experienced were snow storms. I've never lived anywhere that had something like this happen. I see it everyday on my way into and from work. Tornado's are one of my biggest fears too, whenever it gets windy and storms I watch the sky and check the weather frequently.

Despite the stress it puts me under I do enjoy my job. I get to learn new things all the time, learn that I can do things I never thought I ever could. I'm not a mechanic but son of a calipers, I've fixed things and got them running like again. Being as shy as I am irl my job has me talking to people everyday. Mostly face to face which can be scary for someone who can barely utter a hi to a passerby. Sometimes customers will just "shoot the honeysuckle" with me. It's easy to strike up conversations because it's my job to help them with their projects.

Maybe you should look into a different job which might stress you less? Instead of playing games, as fun as they go, go home and try to exercise/relax, then look for other options?

Problem is I can't shut my brain off, playing the game I do has me interacting with other players, and lets me escape from what is bouncing around in my head.

Perhaps if you focus on others that are far worse off than you, you might some solace in that knowledge.

I've only been a here a short amount of time, but judging by your posts you seem to be a pretty intelligent person. Don't let this kick your ass. It would amaze you just how high a person can rise up against adversity of any magnitude through sheer force of will.

You know, I see the homes that have been destroyed, I've had people in who had to find a new place to live, and I feel worse. One lady told me that with her business and home the damages are up to 100k in repairs (the live in the same building their business is). Here I am, I wasn't here when the tornado hit, my place of work untouched, my apartment building spared and I can't deal. So I start to imagine what it had to be like, I live the moments through my customers that share their story with me. And thanks, it's not often someone calls me intelligent.

I have no plans on using any kind of drugs, the doctors would have to force them down my throat. I know this isn't a permanent condition, it's hopefully not something I'm going to be dealing with still in 6 months or so. It's just finding a way to deal with it instead of being sad over something that I lost nothing over, when others have.

---

Take care of yourself sci-fi. Get plenty of rest okay? You are emotionally and probably physically exhausted.

I gotta watch that video when I get home. Sleep isn't a problem for me surprisingly. It probably helps that I don't end up going to bed until 11 or 12 at night though. I'm usually feeling pretty tired by then and fall right asleep.