Do ladies ever make the first move relationship-wise?

[Limlim]

I hit the handicapped button and wait for the door to open slowly on its own, blocking everyones path until it is completely open cause Its funny

 

[EveWasFramed]

I hit the handicapped button and wait for the door to open slowly on its own, blocking everyones path until it is completely open cause Its funny

:club:

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

DreamerDeceiver, you are right that girls have the right to make the first move but I think they generally don't unless they are aggressive, conversely all guys are taught to be more aggressive becase you need to "man up". It is a double standard we undoubtedly live by. When I think of the girls who hit on me first they were aggressive and not the shy type. Though it sems that the aggressively natured women are usaully labeled as desperate or whoreish so they are far and few in-between when met casually.

You make a good point there. I believe it's a matter of how one chooses to see it in general- as well as every unique scenario- of how a woman initiates a "first move" and such with a man. If a woman was just introducing herself to a man in a nice and friendly way and starting a light conversation, without an aggressive/insisting manner; I believe that would be just fine for both of them, and open the possibilities for a friendship from there.

And you are indeed right about this double-standard we happen to live by. For instance, if I were personally approached by a lady who was immensely interested in me for whatever reason unknown to me, just out-of-the-blue; I would in fact feel that something was not right there. On a more intimate level, if a lady I knew well made the first step in creating a relationship, it would seem rather odd, because it just isn't the common practice in society along the lines of proper manners and customs.

 

[MadMonkè]

I'm sorry, but um, OF COURSE it "puffs their ego".... on that note, IT PUFFS A WOMAN'S EGO TOO WHEN MEN COME UP TO THEM!!!!

Holy ******* honeysuckle, stop doing that. You are so way off base. You're also extremely sexist. That's not an insult, that's a **** fact. Anyone that reads ANYTHING you post can see it and there's no denying it. EVERYTHING you say about the OH SO HORRIBLE people that have penis' can ALSO be said about women. Seriously, wtf is your problem?

Teach me how to be a ***** Callie, please

giggidy

---

If someone pays me attention regardless of whether I am interested or not I always take it as a compliment. For some reason recently I seem to attract male attention its happended 3 times in the last year or so (I am male but hetrosexual) I'm still going to take it as a compliment but maybe have to consider what signals I'm giving off!

If I ask a woman out and she takes it in similar good grace thats all you can ask, its when they look at you like something they found on the bottom of your shoe that I hate (obviously). Luckily I'm shy enough to get a pretty good idea of the sort of person they are before I'd say anything.

Seriously, having someone basically say you're attractive and I've noticed you is one of the best compliments you can receive (if done in a 'polite' manner).

+rep

 

[Pezza]

I'm currently in my first serious relationship ever. It's going well

Anyway she made the first move. She was pretty bad at it too, horrific actually. The condensed version of the first thing she said to me was "How's your vomit?" (I had been drinking the night before), then shortly after she said "You seem like a stud". She was so bad but she was trying so hard, it was adorable. Somehow those few sentences led to a relationship.

Women definitely make the first move at times, and they can also suck ass at it like us men too

 

[Sci-Fi]

"How's you vomit" ROFL!! Best pick up line ever.

 

[deprived]

@Pezza, before she asked you out would you have considered her a possible romantic interest?

 

[putter65]

Women make the first move all the time, only not with guys like us !

 

[Pezza]

@Pezza, before she asked you out would you have considered her a possible romantic interest?

Yes. I already was considering her

I would have approached her, but she beat me to it

 

[blackdot]

I find the women that recently make the first moves on me have no interest in talking to me or are currently dating someone else and have no interest in dating me.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I think I have great difficulty distinguishing between a good female friend and a potential girlfriend.

Apparently it's really obvious when a girl wants to go out with you as opposed to be your friend, from what other people tell me, so I guess I've just never had someone see me like that.

Either that or "really obvious" isn't obvious enough!

I just don't think I understand all that stuff in general. Worse, I think it's perhaps beyond my comprehension.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Right now, I just assume she just wants to be my friend, until proven otherwise.

I made the mistake of going after a girl who just wanted to be my friend, and it made the friendship weird. Ever since then, I have just assumed that, because I don't ever want to be in that mess again!

 

[putter65]

I think I have great difficulty distinguishing between a good female friend and a potential girlfriend.

Apparently it's really obvious when a girl wants to go out with you as opposed to be your friend, from what other people tell me, so I guess I've just never had someone see me like that.

Either that or "really obvious" isn't obvious enough!

I just don't think I understand all that stuff in general. Worse, I think it's perhaps beyond my comprehension.

I used to bullshit myself into thinking women were interested in me. Smiling, laughing at my jokes, paying me compliments, saying they are lonely - i used to think things like this meant something. It never did.

People on forums used to say I couldn't see the interest from women, I was blind to it. This was totally wrong in my opinon. The interest was never there. If a woman was nice to me it was because she felt sorry for me. I was always in some sub normal person group that either got picked on / bullied by people or got sympthay from others. I don't think I am like that now by the way. But upto the age of 27, I was just a loser in everything I did.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I used to bullshit myself into thinking women were interested in me. Smiling, laughing at my jokes, paying me compliments, saying they are lonely - i used to think things like this meant something. It never did.

Exactly what I'm starting to think.

Except even when girls are asking me to places with them, cuddling up to me, making double entendres, it still seems to mean exactly the same: nothing.

I just wish girls would stop messing with my head, if they don't fancy me I'd rather they just treated me like a friend than sort of half-flirt with me all the time

 

[putter65]

I used to bullshit myself into thinking women were interested in me. Smiling, laughing at my jokes, paying me compliments, saying they are lonely - i used to think things like this meant something. It never did.

Exactly what I'm starting to think.

Except even when girls are asking me to places with them, cuddling up to me, making double entendres, it still seems to mean exactly the same: nothing.

I just wish girls would stop messing with my head, if they don't fancy me I'd rather they just treated me like a friend than sort of half-flirt with me all the time

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

I used to bullshit myself into thinking women were interested in me. Smiling, laughing at my jokes, paying me compliments, saying they are lonely - i used to think things like this meant something. It never did.

Exactly what I'm starting to think.

Except even when girls are asking me to places with them, cuddling up to me, making double entendres, it still seems to mean exactly the same: nothing.

I just wish girls would stop messing with my head, if they don't fancy me I'd rather they just treated me like a friend than sort of half-flirt with me all the time

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

It really bothers me when girls act like that. They act all interested in you, give you hints, and subtle signs... that is, until you decide to act on them.

The last time this happened to me was on Halloween. I went to a bar with some friends, and while we were playing pool, a girl approached and asked to play with us. Then she started talking to me and was giving strong non-verbal signs that she was interested in me. Persuaded by my guy friend, I asked for her number and told her I would call her. After that, my group left the bar and went home. My guy friend noticed how strong she was coming on to me and was joking about it after the fact. So after all this, I tried calling several times, and sent text messages. She seemed only vaguely interested, but kept stringing me along, so I kept contacting her over the weeks to setup a date or just hang out at a bar. Nothing ever came of it though. All this after SHE was the one pursuing ME. Now she says she has a "jealous" boyfriend who doesn't let her talk to any guys. Pfffffffttt... Whatever.

 

[Limlim]

Doesn't matter what they do, I have such a thick skull I never pick up signals until they are naked and sitting on my lap.

 

[Frito Bandito]

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

You are taking it wrong. When she flirts and engages you in conversation, she is not saying that she is "interested" in you, just as she is not saying that she is "interested" in every other guy (as you so claim).

She is simply being friendly and outgoing. She is giving you the opportunity to reciprocate and step up your game. It's an open door that you are choosing not to walk through. She may not let you walk through the door, but you won't know until you try.

Not all flirtateous women are actively slutty or trying to "lead someone on". Even I understand that.

Flirting can just be a fun way of breaking the ice, passing the time, and having fun. It also typically means that the person is OPEN to being "interested" in you, if you prove an interesting person.

If you recoil in horror when she flirts and can't reciprocate and play the game, what would you have her do?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Doesn't matter what they do, I have such a thick skull I never pick up signals until they are naked and sitting on my lap.

*chokes laughing*

 

[putter65]

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

You are taking it wrong. When she flirts and engages you in conversation, she is not saying that she is "interested" in you, just as she is not saying that she is "interested" in every other guy (as you so claim).

She is simply being friendly and outgoing. She is giving you the opportunity to reciprocate and step up your game. It's an open door that you are choosing not to walk through. She may not let you walk through the door, but you won't know until you try.

Not all flirtateous women are actively slutty or trying to "lead someone on". Even I understand that.

Flirting can just be a fun way of breaking the ice, passing the time, and having fun. It also typically means that the person is OPEN to being "interested" in you, if you prove an interesting person.

If you recoil in horror when she flirts and can't reciprocate and play the game, what would you have her do?

I did ask this woman out for a meal last year. She said 'yes' so I asked for her number. She never gave it to me. It was all very odd. A few weeks later she finally gave me her number but I had a date lined up. When I have walked her home a few months later, all she talked about was me meeting somebody. Told me I should get out there and meet women. Don't really see her anymore.