Do u always go out alone?

[angel_in_view]

I wanted to pose this question bc I've bent my hubby's ear about it enough!

I just wondered if anyone else on here is like me? If I'm not doing things w/my hubby, I'm usually by myself. I want to be clear...I enjoy doing things w/my hubby and we always have fun. Also, I enjoy having time to myself sometimes...but as I've told him many times, sometimes you just want to have "girl time." I have a couple of close friends, but they live 1 & 1/2 hrs away. So, I don't get to seem them often. Sometimes when I'm out running errands, I see groups of females hanging out shopping, eating lunch, etc and it makes me kind of sad. It makes me wish I had a g'friend to do things like that with. It makes me wonder, "ok what's wrong w/me that I can't have friendships like that? What do they do that's so different? I'm a good, loyal friend..why am I always by myself if i'm not w/my hubby doing things?" A cousin of mine is ALWAYS by herself. She said she's been doing things by herself 4 so long that she wouldn't know how to act if someone(other than family) would want to do something w/her. She has trust issues bc a childhood friend betrayed her about 10 yrs ago and that made her totally shut down. However, I am not like that. I just get tired of being by myself all the time. It just feels so pathetic.

 

[Barbaloot]

I also do things by myself when I'm not with my husband. In some situations I prefer it, in others I'm pretty tired of it. I'd love to have at least one good real life friend I could do things with, but I just haven't been able to meet anyone.

 

[Lost Drifter]

You’re not alone in being alone...that sounded odd...but a lot of us are going through the exact same things even without partners. Society just wasn’t designed for lonely people, especially lonely adults, a lot of us tend to move towards solo interests like walking or reading but sometimes I wonder if it’s more like we’re forced. There is little worse that being stuck on the outside and wanting to be in.

 

[angel_in_view]

Thanks for the quick replies. Not trying to be mean, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that. Some days i'm okay w/it and other days it drives me nuts!

One "acquaintance" of mine is a military wife and she said if she's not doing things w/her little girl, she's by herself. Her hubby gets deployed quite a bit, so she's often left alone for months at a time. She learned over the yrs to do a lot by herself that she never thought she'd do(movies, out to eat). I've never done those things alone and I know i'd feel very odd.

True, there are things that I prefer to do alone(grocery shop, exercise) bc a lot of times, two people don't have the same agenda in mind. Some may not take as long whereas others might. But I'd love to just go to lunch/breakfast w/a gf & just sit & chat. I really miss that.

 

[Gutted]

The only times I go out alone, are when I bike ride, run errands of have been stuck inside all day. Otherwise I only really go out if friends are around. It's bad that your friends live a while away. But it's worse when your friends live 5 minutes away and still they come out very very rarely lol.

 

[angel_in_view]

It's bad that your friends live a while away. But it's worse when your friends live 5 minutes away and still they come out very very rarely lol.

Well, been there..done that! As a matter of fact, I'm going through that now! There are 2 friends who live maybe 15 min from me..right here in town. I went out w/one a few days before Christmas, but haven't since. I saw the other one on Veteran's Day and haven't seen her since. I am...or was really close to the 1st friend, but we stopped working together about 2 yrs ago. So the outings and conversations went downhill w/a quickness. I had no idea that we were just "work friends" bc I never got that indication. (shrugging shoulders). Anyway, I guess that's what we were bc now that we're not co-workers, its like pulling teeth to get her to do anything. Oh, well...you live and you learn.

 

[Trent]

when i was in a long-term relationship, i encouraged my significant other to foster and grow the relationships with her close friends. these were friends she had from childhood and had always stayed in touch with.

several times over the years, she feared their were falling out of touch, i encouraged her to give herself (and her friend) the gift of "dates" (basically, planned events), no matter what it is...the ritual of getting together to spend the day at the mall (every month, or every season) or going away for a weekend somewhere (yearly, whatever) keeps the bond of friendship clean and corrosion-free.

i always encourage(d) that.

i am a loner, by choice. i have a job that forces me to be in contact with "people" ALL DAY LONG and EVERY DAY, dozens of new people every week, thousands per year. all day long, people in my ear, people in my face...their problems, hopes, dreams, ambitions, issues, comedy routines. i get to a point where i am fed up with people in general after a long day of having them consume my soul.

but i understand the need for friends. i remember it like a vague dream.

my ex resented me for being a loner. she wanted to force me to be friends with her friends' husbands. but these guys were all total douchebags. i had nothing in common with them and wanted to have nothing in common with them.

my life has been about struggle. from day one. always another challenge, always another disaster. i don't really have hobbies, not in the typical sense. don't have time. i work. i work. i train. i train. i go to school. i go to school. i raise my child. i feed my child. i clean my house. i pay my bills.

and once a week for about two hours, i might have time to watch tv.

what i'm saying is, it's hard to sit down with people who live a more priviliged existence and listen to how they snowmobile in the mountains, or travel abroad, or spend lucratively on this or that.

all i can say is: that's nice.

then i go to bed and get up and go to work.

 

[blackdot]

As a person who is always by himself, I very rarely go out. I can't go out and do things without someone to do things with.

 

[fox]

As for me, really I do not go out in that sort of way, alone or otherwise

I see people who do, and some times I am jealous a bit, and before I wondered.. what would it be like, to have friends to do such things with.. but I realize, this sort of thing.. it is not for me.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yup, because I have no friends I really want to hang out with so I just go out by myself.

 

[Tiina63]

I often go out alone, because although I have some friends, they have their own lives and different interests than mine. Going to events alone can be a bit daunting and I often have to psyche myself up for it. It's the feeling that people might be looking at me and wondering why I am alone that is hard to deal with, even though I know that people are too busy thinking about themselves to even notice me.

 

[Rzephillda]

I'm often alone, my schedule is really odd and it doesn't allow for much flexibility to schedule something with someone. A lot of the times, people give me odd looks (like when I'm at a restaurant eating alone, or when I'm in the park, alone again, reading my books), but I try to shrug off the discomfort.

I don't mind it [being alone] much, perhaps it's just because I'm now used to it and truth be told, I find it a little tiring to be with someone else (various reasons).

My IPod is my new best friend.

 

[putter65]

As a person who is always by himself, I very rarely go out. I can't go out and do things without someone to do things with.

don't you go out to the shops etc ?

I go everywhere by myself, shopping, looking around town shops, cinema. I would play golf alone but you can't really so my Dad joins me.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

More often than not, if I have something I plan to do, e.g. going to the movie theatre or clothes shopping, I prefer to go alone. I don't like being with other people who'll slow me down or make me do things I don't want to do or just generally make me feel awkward. I enjoy things much better by myself. What stops me is the lack of will to bathe and get dressed.

 

[blackdot]

As a person who is always by himself, I very rarely go out. I can't go out and do things without someone to do things with.

don't you go out to the shops etc ?

I go everywhere by myself, shopping, looking around town shops, cinema. I would play golf alone but you can't really so my Dad joins me.

The only times I go "shopping" would be after work on the way home. That pretty much is just going to the grocery store.

The only times I am around other people is at work (which I don't consider part of going out) or with volunteer/community service projects I do. In those I am with other people.
But by going out, I am meaning in terms of vacations, parties, clubbing, etc...

 

[ahaikulife]

I wanted to pose this question bc I've bent my hubby's ear about it enough!

I just wondered if anyone else on here is like me? If I'm not doing things w/my hubby, I'm usually by myself. I want to be clear...I enjoy doing things w/my hubby and we always have fun. Also, I enjoy having time to myself sometimes...but as I've told him many times, sometimes you just want to have "girl time." I have a couple of close friends, but they live 1 & 1/2 hrs away. So, I don't get to seem them often. Sometimes when I'm out running errands, I see groups of females hanging out shopping, eating lunch, etc and it makes me kind of sad. It makes me wish I had a g'friend to do things like that with. It makes me wonder, "ok what's wrong w/me that I can't have friendships like that? What do they do that's so different? I'm a good, loyal friend..why am I always by myself if i'm not w/my hubby doing things?" A cousin of mine is ALWAYS by herself. She said she's been doing things by herself 4 so long that she wouldn't know how to act if someone(other than family) would want to do something w/her. She has trust issues bc a childhood friend betrayed her about 10 yrs ago and that made her totally shut down. However, I am not like that. I just get tired of being by myself all the time. It just feels so pathetic.

I'm not good at going out with others, as odd as that might sound. Like, this one time, I went camping with 3 friends... but, when we went into town, we were all together, but I just kind of wandered away from them and did my own thing. I am not good at socializing I suppose...I don't know. I was not interested in being around them, and just needed to get away from them. They didn't do anything wrong, they aren't bad people in any way... I just kind of did it and I don't know why... however, at the sametime, I know what you mean. I do go to movies alone, although, for some reason, I convince myself that it is okay to do during the day, but not at night. The theater is at the mall, so I often go in and grab a slice or two of pizza and eat it alone in that wonderful place...the foodcourt lol...sarcasm btw ;P but, I feel like people are looking at me, like something is wrong with me because I am alone, but I do it anyhow... even though it makes me uncomfortable... I actually reallly like going to movies alone. I mean, seriously, what's the big deal? it's not like you are discussing anything with the people that you go with anyhow during the movie. Also, I get to pick my seat, teh movie, etc... maybe I am just that self-centered where I do not want to compromise? lmao... idk, but I do like going out to movies alone... i'm rambling....

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I'm often alone, my schedule is really odd and it doesn't allow for much flexibility to schedule something with someone. A lot of the times, people give me odd looks (like when I'm at a restaurant eating alone, or when I'm in the park, alone again, reading my books), but I try to shrug off the discomfort.

I don't mind it [being alone] much, perhaps it's just because I'm now used to it and truth be told, I find it a little tiring to be with someone else (various reasons).

My IPod is my new best friend.

I just wanted to say that I think that's awesome that you can eat at a restaurant alone. I live in a big city, and while I have eaten by myself in public, as do many people, I haven't worked up the nerve to go to a real restaurant, which I think is kind of childish of me. I tend to eat alone at places where it's more common, i.e. cafe's, bistros, sushi places during the day where there's lots of students, etc. But that's definitely on my to-do list.

 

[aribeth]

I hate going out alone so rarely go out. The odd time my friend calls up I'll go out with them. The only time I go out alone is out of necessity, like when I need to get groceries. It's just very awkward being alone.

 

[putter65]

As a person who is always by himself, I very rarely go out. I can't go out and do things without someone to do things with.

don't you go out to the shops etc ?

I go everywhere by myself, shopping, looking around town shops, cinema. I would play golf alone but you can't really so my Dad joins me.

The only times I go "shopping" would be after work on the way home. That pretty much is just going to the grocery store.

The only times I am around other people is at work (which I don't consider part of going out) or with volunteer/community service projects I do. In those I am with other people.
But by going out, I am meaning in terms of vacations, parties, clubbing, etc...

when I'm working I speak to plenty of people, colleagues, customers etc.

But Ive been off work this week. Apart from my Dad who I live with, I have spoken to my Mam, her fella, a few people at golf on Sunday and thats it. I'm not that bothered. I am used to it after all these years. (Ive had no texts and no facebook messages either !)

 

[blackdot]

But Ive been off work this week. Apart from my Dad who I live with, I have spoken to my Mam, her fella, a few people at golf on Sunday and thats it. I'm not that bothered. I am used to it after all these years. (Ive had no texts and no facebook messages either !)

When I'm off work, I hear from no one. That's why I come on sites like this.
Today was an oddity because the lady down the street needed me to come over and work on her phone since it stopped working. Normally the only time my doorbell rings is when a sale person comes by. They don't like me because I'll talk and talk and talk and they think they have a sale. But I'm only talking because I have someone to talk to. Finally they go away once they realize I'm not buying. *laughs*

I used to be used to the dead silence but as I got older, I decided I wanted to have people to talk to. Unfortunately they didn't have classes in school on how to find people to talk to.