Do You Alter Who You Really Are As A Person To Fit In With Others?

[LoneKiller]

Since I've joined this forum, I've read some very sad posts from members who are suffering so much inside, yet summon the goodness in themselves to help others with their pain. Which is awesome.

What I am curious to know is, does anyone alter who they are irl for the sole purpose of impressing others to gain acceptance from them? The reason I'm asking is because I used to do that a long time ago, and all it did was complicate my life causing me to be 2 different people which means trying to keep up with the lifestyles of these 2 different personalities, and eventually lost control and labeled as a liar.

I just want to say that doing what I did, you will only end up hurting yourself and others that you interact with. Living a lie. From this experience, I've learned that doing so is very hard on your psyche, and may hinder your efforts to get well with yourself. I don't want anyone here to have to live like that, so I'm hoping that none of you are.

My real name is Jason. "LoneKiller" is also "Jason". Because of my honesty
about who I really am and how I live, it tends to make other members a little suspicious with feelings that I have my own personal agenda. This is simply not true. It's important to me that you guys understand that I don't have an agenda, but I understand if you think I do.

God Bless.
LK

 

[nerdygirl]

I think a lot of people pretend to be somebody they aren't, in order to fit in. I've never done that. Of course, I've had few friends... but I think that when it comes to friendships, quality is much more important than quantity.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I’ve been wearing a mask for years to the point of being too afraid to look at the real me anymore. There is a valued skill in being able to adapt yourself to others and for short periods of time it works but for every second you’re wearing the mask the real you is dying inside.

 

[Sci-Fi]

When we're little kids we do this without even realizing it, it's automatic to like the same things your friends like. As we get older you see this in school a lot, especially high school. I didn't do that, I just tried to fly under the radar and not be noticed. I was too scared to try and fit in somewhere. Then I got tired of that and decided to just be me. That was a lot more fun.

 

[seventhson]

I usually pretend to be the happiest guy around to comfort people who are depressed.
I don't really let others see that I am lonely.

 

[Ak5]

Sort of, I plan on not telling anyone I like politics at the school I'll be going to. I mean come on, how many guys my age like politics?

 

[IgnoredOne]

With fluidity, but also with cogent awareness of who I am. I wear masks if needed, no different from wearing different clothes to fit with different groups; it does not end up redefining my core in the least.

 

[Okiedokes]

I don't like to show any anger or sadness around most people anymore, unless the topic comes up and are both discussing it. Sometimes it helps me feel better to ignore anything that was bothering me and focus on other things. I used to close everything off to most people growing up except friends, but that changed.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Never. I had friends in elementary school, but then, things like status and appearance weren't of significance. Virtually anyone could be mates.

In high school, I was always on the outside looking in. Thinking, observing, drifting about with my philosophies. I never found myself being among the crowd and hanging out with a group of friends, I wasn't comfortable in that scene.

I remember a few people from the past with similar interests as me who I got along well with. Unfortunately they all had to move away for various reasons.

I would hate the idea of forcing myself to be like someone I'm not, that would be uncomfortable. My mum still makes a fuss out of how I act and dress, but I guess that's just normal.

EDIT: As for the talk about masking one's behaviour around different people, I often see myself shift through varied personalities around different people while hiding some traits; but I see this more as an adjustment to specific social settings and who it is I'm communicating with, rather than a tool I would use to gain favour with people. I believe this could be deceiving to others in most situations, nonetheless.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Its so hard to alter myself. I am usually just myself except for when I am thinking or feeling something I think others would find unacceptable.

 

[Polar]

You can perfectly hang with two completely heterogeneous groups and be yourself in both of them. Do you present yourself the same way to your mother as you do to your girlfriend? (I hope the answer is no to that...) Personality and attitude are too often mistaken for one another. Having a certain flexibility in how you deal with people is an important social skill. When you 'really' don't belong in a group of people you'll feel it.

 

[Nolife Princess]

Nope! I have always ALWAYS been the odd ball out! and I love it!


Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out!!

---

why is there a ASPCA commercial on here? my golly that commercial makes me cry my head off, and all I see are the commercials.

 

[Bones]

No!

 

[Felix]

It's normal to have a diferent atitude in a diferent group. People tend to adapt to each situation. It's called "mask"... a concept a teacher told us in a script class.

You don't act the same with your family, friends, collegues... and it's ok that way, it doesn't make you hypocrite. Is not trying to be other, is just diferent aspects of one's personality.

That said... there are some people who lie... not just a little but a lot to make them look "good". That I don't like, and I can't do it... I never really tried but is like i have my own way and it would be awfull for me to change that much.

I'm a bad liar... except when I can justify it to myself. For example, with friends or other people I don't talk about feeling lonley. Or with my girl friends about prostitutes... I know it would cost me "socialy" if they found out. Everyone is alowed to have it's secrets... here I don't have a problem since I'm protected by this other "mask" that is called "Felix", this username which gives me the power to communicate anonymously... there is no me for you except the one that is in your head, altered by your own perception.

But that's a diferent topic

 

[Bread]

Sadly, I got to put on my work face when at work, tone down my eccentricity a notch, turning into a dull monotone of a human who excels at being a bore. Like this guy:

I generally try and be myself, but I'm such an oddball that I generally revert to my 'medium dull' mode when I'm out and about so as to avoid gaining attention.

 

[Chasm]

NO
ive tried that
i only end up comng across evn MORE weird
:club:
doesnt wrk 4 me
Lmao
AT all

 

[jjam]

I've done it many times before, I'm sure. But for the most part, I am myself. Here's a good example. I'm not a gossipy guy. Usually, I don't initiate conversations that involve talk about other people. But in talking with people I know find that kind of stuff appealing, I've lost myself at times in order to give them an "interesting" conversation.

 

[Lonely Anon]

I (sadly) did not. I am not sure if I regret it or not.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I (sadly) did not. I am not sure if I regret it or not.

Do not change your core, although its perfectly fine to show people different facets of you so that communication is facilitated. You wouldn't talk to a child the same way as to an adult, for example.

 

[Equinox]

I don't fit in with others no matter what, so my personality generally remains the same.