Do you consider people you speak to online as being friends?

[Chair]

Do you consider people you speak to online as being friends?

If I like someone enough, I obviously do, but some people I've spoken to online claim it's impossible for them to consider a contact they talk to online as being a friend. Some people think it's impossible to "know" someone online, but I believe you can tell what someone's like by speaking to them online, especially if you speak to them on a near-daily basis. Sure, there are frauds, but it's usually quite easy to tell if someone's a bullshitter.

I was inspired to create this thread after someone I was speaking to online told me they'd not care if I'd kill myself, or if I'd die any other way. They told me this because they don't know me, and said "I only care what happens to my family, or people I know IRL". It pissed me off. Why would they not care about what happened to me or anyone else simply because they don't know me/them in real life? She doesn't even care when she hears about people dying in disasters simply because she doesn't know the people. This is bullshit, and it's no surprise as to why she joked about the earthquake in Haiti after she heard about it.

You may want to tell me "Internet = serious business", but that phrase can only apply to people who, for example, slit their wrist after a random troll says something to piss them off - it can't apply to someone who's pissed off about what someone they've spoken to in a personal manner for a lengthy period of time said to them.

Anyway, I blocked and deleted this person because I didn't want to "entertain" her or whatever - I wanted to have worthwhile, meaningful conversations. I told her to change her mindset, grow up, and learn to feel compassion for people, even strangers. People like this are depressing.

People are people. Just because you don't know someone in the physical sense doesn't make them less human, and is no excuse to lack feelings for them.

 

[kimberleykat]

I can hardly make more good friends in real life O_O
And all my previous good buddies from high school or university are slipping away. I understand but I hate to admit the "they move on you move on" crap.
But *sighs*, ppl do move on like that. I can't talk to my so-called best friends about anything that is of some sort of significance in my current life. I don't want them to tease me or mock me or talk things about me to the friends of them once I find myself failed in carrying out the things that we talked about before.
Today I had to go to school for the interview on the topic chosen for the final essay. I am graduating soon this year. But all I got when I see my classmates and students of the junior year was a slap of low self-image that almost made it to screw me up. I have become way too different from my fellow classmates and uni friends. And I seemed like a absolutely failure comparing to them, or at least the presence they applied. I am never good at that. Or I am too good at that. Not sure.
I talk to friends I've made from ALL. I go to AT/DT regularly to check my msgs and join in the chat sometimes. It's a horrible feeling when I realize that the only place I can resort to is the bunch of ppl online and the virtual community we built up.
A very sweet lady from DT I met there told me she deff thought the friendship over the internet is true. She believed that ppl over there on the other end of millions of cables at the bottom of the sea do listen to her and they help each other. I don't speak a lot to her. The time difference IS a problem but she said some really assuring words to me the other day when I was feeling down: "Kim I know our conversation will be going on over quite a period. But you have to know whenever you need someone to talk to I am there. Even if I am not there in front of the computer to chat with you, I have you on my mind."
I am sure someone in real life has said to me something that was of very similar idea, of course, tho, not the over computer or not issue lol. But what turned out to the real fraud is the one in real life.
I still hope it was just some nightmares of my never-ending bad luck.
I met Ovid on ALL forum. Some cool guy that sent me a pm as a response at one of my complaining threads. After our chatting on MSN for like 2 months, talking to him became a very important activity in my life. I am trying to keep the record that not a single day shall pass by without talking to him.
So I am pretty sure, at least from what I know, I'd rather talk to the friends I made over the internet, if I can trust them, than bugging around with "friends" in reality (**** it why internet is not the reality??). They never understand me. And I know for the most part it's my fault. I am a weird person while none of them is. So I fled in spurts, and they move on.
Now I need to move on. Altho I am the perfect example they can put on a text book to demonstrate/verify the quote they might not get what it means at all...
Life sucks then I die.
*claps*
-Kimma

 

[Minus]

I imagine it is typical to have less concern about people that you don't know than you do about your immediate family and friends. That isn't the same as saying that you don't care what happens to strangers.

It isn't impossible to get to know someone online. It is just done a bit differently. I know more about some online people, the way they feel, the way they think, their history, hopes and dreams, then i do about the people that i am around every day.

 

[Ovid]

In answer to the question: Yeah, of course!

I remember a few years ago I played an online game (the server was in America), and I made a good friend on there (His name was Steve, same as mine). Turns out he actually lived here in Perth, WA, 5 minutes from my house (surprise!). Anyway, he met a nice girl (inside the same game) who lived in Italy, they got to know each other very well and in the end she boarded a plane and came over here to be with him. They have now been married for 8 months and are my good friends.

So friends (and much more) can be found on the net, but as Minus stated its just done a little differently I guess. I think people are MUCH more open about themselves and their feelings over the net too.

I can definitely relate to old uni / school friends drifting apart, in fact I only keep in contact with one of my uni friends. Who is.. also.. named Steve (like everyone else in Australia, we have no originality).

As my dear Kimberley said, I met her on this forum, and I have been talking to her every day since. She means so much to me and I always look forward to talking to her and seeing her again. We are happily looking forward to meeting each in real life soon enough.

Thank you Mr. Internet.

 

[Coverage]

No, I've learned not to really consider people I've met online as true friends. I dont mean that in a bad way, and I do enjoy chatting and getting to know people online, but in the end I dont really know that person as I would if I could physically see and interact with them. I cant see their facial expressions, see their physical flaws, hang out with them in physical terms, and eventually our online interactions will end and we will easily forget each other.

I used to have "friends" online when i was a teenager and it was good while it lasted but as I said earlier, eventually the communications I had with them always ended for one reason or another, and I now have no idea how to reach any of them. I feel that having online "friends" can turn into a negative in that you might find yourself content with your online buddies and not even care about developing friendships with the people around you as I did many years ago.

Looking back I really wish I hadnt put so much stock into my online 'friendships' and would have worked harder on my real life communication skills. I might be in a better situation right now if I had.

 

[nerdygirl]

I sincerely care about the people I know online. I am at work 12.5 hours a day, minimum. I couldn't possibly maintain relationships without the internet. The Lonely would freaking kill me.

Heck. My last boyfriend? I met him on myspace. Our relationship was over the internet and phone- sometimes at the same time. We broke up before meeting face to face, but I assure you that I was closer to him than I am to a lot of people I know "IRL". I was seriously contemplating marriage.

 

[matabankosi]

Yes, I sure do.
I have a hard time speaking with people. Basic social skills are unnatural to me. Eye contact, speaking volume, smiling. I have to think heavily about something to physically do it. It hasn't made me very popular.
But online all physical stuff is disguarded, and I can have good conversations and actually let people get to know me. Atleast, without it being as akward.

Sheesh bro,

communication in an ultimate human need. How will you ever be able to communicate in a relationship?

That is something you need to work on, dont accept that you not good at it, work at it and improve...

---

]heya,

Look i know i might be on the wrong thread. The answer is I would care about anyone anywhere on the internet, the answer is yes, i care about the whole world!

I see many posts where people say how important the internet is for everyday communication with other people.

One girl said she had an online boyfriend.

Look there is nothing like the human touch, the love two people can share is truly the ultimate gift to mankind. Before anyone can find love with another they need to love themselves first!

Here is a little quote for you from my book.

"Truly know yourself, truly love yourself so that others my truly love you"

If you having trouble communicating or looking people in the eye, it is because you have developed a complex somewhere a long the line, mostly it happens when we young.

How do i know? I had many complexes and now that i have overcome them and more importantly found the route of them and understood the result of circumstances, i am happy to say there is an amazing life and love.

I wrote a book, it has many messages that it sends to the reader. I give it away for free! Why would i do that? Because i care and i just want to help others....

Please read the book i am sure many of you will find value in it, it is a great story with a powerful message.

www.whylivethislife.com The only thing i ask of those who read it and find value in it. Pass it on to someone else who is in need of it.
:club:
READ IT!!​

---

Man being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
Albert Einstein​

[/align]

 

[loketron]

maybe, who wants to be my bestie?

 

[Zak]

Dude Chair. Yes you can call them real friends and I do consider everybody whom I talk to in this forum as my friend even though I have honeysuckle load of friends in real life. It pisses me off too when people say honeysuckle like 'online is online' and stuff. Its still human beings who are talking and not bots. It pisses me off even more when people simply CLAIM that internet relationships cant be real or cant last long or should end and all. Those are plain idiots who dont understand life. They are just kids who really needs to grow up and probably why they ended up in honeysuckle in their lives.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Becuase you're trying to drag their emotions through the mud through guilt...

Errr wtf???...how freaken meaningful and worth while of a conversation do you think it is to hear someone talk about killing themselve,
epsecailly over the net? They can't physically help you or safe you. Why don't you just give them you're address so they can send the fire truck
or the conners van...but you're not going to do it...becuase you're playing a sick game of manipluations, blame, guilt and shame.
Then you turn around and blame the other person and cutted them out of your life....Which feeds into the cycle of insanities even more.
You lose people ...you get lonelier and more depressed then you wanna check the fresia out. You created your own madness.

All they did was mentally and emotionally detached themselves from your insanty. Which is a healthy thing to do.
They might not had came up with the best words for you to grasp it...It wouldn't had matter oneway or the other no matter what they said. It didn't fit into your delusions or dramma.
Belive it not...most people can live without the extra dramma and bullshit.

The poor me, I'm the fucken victim, life sucks, life is unfair role playing crap. Been there and done that. All that did was drove people further away from me.
Especailly the ones that loves me the most. It's too painful for them...It's not always fucken about me.