don't know how to get out of this rut im in

[nguyenmtony]

Well I had a girlfriend for 7 and a half years but it ended about a month and a half ago :/ (i was still in love when she cheated) . Now i find myself stuck in situations when i go out that all i can think about is her and everything we did together. I am now 27 and don't know how to open up without bringing her up because everything i've done, i've done with her.

I dont have any close friends any longer because I was committed to the relationship and her ofcourse. I get invited to go out sometime and go but when im out i don't really have anything to talk about. my life is just filled with nothingness anymore because all i did was work and look foward to seeing my girlfriend. I'm not a bad looking guy either but I find it hard to go dance(really never went clubbing much while i was with her for the fact that her friends would hit on me). my social interaction now is mediocre at best and i've really never been the outgoing type of person and don't know how to break out of it to be that outgoing person.

This relationship i was in drained the youth out of me basically because of her jealousy issues and ultimately cheating on me just hurt my pride and ego as a man. I feel broken and worthless now and don't know how to pull out of this.

 

[A new life]

Your story sounds so similar to mine.
The only advice I can give you comes from my mistakes.

Don't listen to the same old songs.
Don't listen to sad songs EVER!
Don's tell your sad tale of woe to anybody but a therapist.
(I learned the HARD way that people just don't want to hear it!)

Do new things.
Go new places.
And most of all, when you find someone new,
DO NOT ABANDON YOUR FRIENDS JUST TO SPEND TIME WITH HER!

Good luck to you.

 

[I'm Fine]

A month and a half isn't very long to give yourself time to properly mourn a relationship, especially one as long as 7 and a half years. It will take time. SHE may not be dead but your relationship is and, if you value it at all, it should be mourned properly. That's my personal opinion though so please don't feel you have to take it. I think A New Life's advice is good though. I hope it helps.

Good luck.

 

[Callie]

It gets easier, I assure you it does. As far as advice, I've given you that in chat and you can, of course, talk to me anytime about it. I've been there. Hell, I still am there in a way.

 

[alonewanderer]

It's going to take you over 3 years to get over her ...possibly never.

The quick and easy solution? Find someone and bang them, don't hope for much else because I guarantee you'll end up talking about her. /out of rut. Temporarily though, just don't try to make a lasting relationship, I always hear that I still love my ex from new women I meet. Oh and don't make the mistake of comparing new to the old, that seems to always piss off womankind.