Guest said:
I am not sure what to do, i just feel lonely and seeing other people happy with children etc makes it worse. I am 34, Female from England, i been feeling this way for quite some time now. My mum died in 1996 and my dad in 2001, i am an only child. I also hate my job which i have been there for 10 years, its an admin type job where i hate most of all is the filing work (70 to 100 papers a day i file) its getting me down now. The trouble is I pay rent and have bills to pay and scared to leave incase a new job doesnt work out as I have no financial backup (savings) or anyone to help me out if things go wrong. I feel trapped there. Also my only friend got married a few years ago and I hardly hear from her anymore, I cant think of the last time I seen her. I also recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years whom I met on the internet, but I could see that coming it wasnt going right for a long time. I would love to have a family but it will not happen now, not at my age. Im also scared to trust people because they hurt or leave me. If it wasnt for TV or computer games I wouldnt know what I would do. Its all a nightmare. I am off work this week, i took a few days off, I just had to get out of there.
Shirl
Hi Shirl!
Sorry to hear about the trouble you're going through. Some times it feels like the world is against you, but hey, you've now got one person here rooting for your speedy recovery to happiness
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Hang in there, you're doing great. You've got a stable home, a job to pay things, and you're surviving. Sounds like you're doing pretty good to me. Have you thought about internet dating as an option to finding guys? A friend of mine had a bit of fun meeting dozens of different guys for a few years before she found the great guy she's with now. She met good guys, she met creepy guys, and she even met a guy who was so cheap they split the gas money
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Aside from your man issue, have you should look in to building up a small savings account (HSBC has amazing interest rates for an online savings account) for a rainy day, then look in to a retirement plan. Stress contributes to the depression of loneliness, especially financial stress. It's difficult because once you're used to spending money with a certain income, it's impossible to lower your spending! If you're bored one night, take a look at the book Freakanomics, you might enjoy yourself a bit.
Your job sounds like you're in a bit of a rut. I highly recommend you keep your resume up to date, because you never know... something just may spring up. If you're mainly set on staying at your current job, I highly recommend reading the Dali Llama's book: The Art of Happiness at Work. Made me happier
. You should visit conferences too where other people get together in your field. It's a good place to meet people who are in the same place in life as you, similar interest, it might increase job satisfaction a wee bit, and you increase your chance of getting a new job because people are trying to hire there too! I don't know your field exactly, but one example is WITI (
http://witi.org ). It's a technically oriented organized aimed at women. Find something similar for yourself and think about being active member. Watch out though, some of these organizations are in the process of dying so they'll try to suck you in as an organizer and unload work on you. Be active but don't be a sucker
Have you thought about getting a low maintenance dog or a house plant you can keep around if you can't have pets? I've got Fred, my own little plant. Sure it sounds silly, but as a guy I don't have friends whom I can talk with about problems. As a result, Fred knows more about me than anybody I know. He'll never tell anybody any of my secrets either... at least I hope not... >_> ... <_< ... shh!
It sounds like you're a good person. Good things happen to good people so lets see what good things are coming your way
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