Don't use your emotions when you're upset

[iameliza]

When you face an upsetting situation, do not work yourself into an emotional state,
but ask yourself what you can do about it and then start doing the WISEST THING
you can think of. It is remarkable how quickly you will begin to experience peace of
mind about the matter.

This attitude will deepen your mental control and help bring about a constructive solution.

-self help book

 

[Venetia]

If you are upset, then you are already in an emotional state.

 

[Jato]

isnt that just basically saying that when your upset, do the thing that makes you less upset? i think the reason ppl come here is because they a) need more specific advice on what that could be or b) need an escape/vent from those things that are making them upset... im sure there are more reasons but it just seems that that statement is just a mere 'there there, everything will be ok' pat on the back.

 

[Venetia]

I agree!

 

[nerdygirl]

Live long and prosper.

 

[Minus]

Do the wisest thing you can think of.

 

[blueindia2681]

What if the wisest thing is to go with your emotions? Don't some of us find peace by releasing those emotions and being honest with ourselves and those around us? Doing the "wisest thing" the way you put it sounds like you are asking us to appease those around us to create some sort of better than nothing peace for ourselves.

nah.

grrr

 

[Badjedidude]

I like emotions. What's the point of living life if you never stop to feel your emotions, whether they be fear, love, hate, anger, etc etc?

Being emotional and feeling your emotions does not mean letting your emotions drive you. It IS possible to feel things and still make the wisest choice. Emotion and logic are NOT exclusive opposites.

 

[Mysis]

I think what she's trying to say is don't always start yelling and crying just because you feel like it.

Just cause you're pissed doesn't mean you can't communicate calmy and sensibly, basically.

 

[oarivan]

I think what she's trying to say is don't always start yelling and crying just because you feel like it.

Just cause you're pissed doesn't mean you can't communicate calmy and sensibly, basically.

Or think about the situation logically.

That being said, I've always found the whole Vulcan philosophy intriguing. I've read somewhere (lost in a sea of dead neurons) of man who attempted to follow the Vulcan philosophy of being emotionless and ending up with a psychotic episode only months after his attempt.

Of course this isn't what the OP is suggesting but Vulcans, being very emotional people, attempted to control their emotions knowing full well of the damages in leaving it unchecked.

I'm sure Xenu thought the same thing.

 

[Mysis]

Nah, Xenu doesn't have emotions, because emotions are just the side effect of dead alien spirits trapped inside our bodies. They're a bad thing, but you can get rid of them for only $6500. It's ok if you don't have the money, we'll hire you for below minimum wage to pay it off.

 

[NOAH_FX]

Theirs a difference between feeling emotional and acting on your emotions. Not to say acting on an emotion is always bad, but that it has to be thought out. Example, you live with a roommate, your both males. You get in a fight with your girlfriend and your all pissy. When your roommate talks to you, you snap on him. Pissing him off too. Now your both edgy and pissed cause you let your anger get the best of you instead of controlling it.

Same with someone who's sad or depressed. Your friends are their and if their real friends they do want to help. But if day after day for months they have to listen to you drone on and on about the same situation without making an effort to change it... Sooner or later they'll hang out with you less.. or avoid you altogether..

Just my thoughts

 

[Badjedidude]

LOL both Mysis and oar... I laughed aloud at you guys's posts.

I think that there is a time to go crazy and act out your feelings, and there's a time to be cold and calculating in your actions. It just depends on the situation and on how strong those feelings are.

 

[driftboy87]

Be careful with self-help books. In most cases the author is just as screwed up as the intended audience. I read a self-help book once that said exercising daily is as damaging as drug abuse since it distracts you from your true thoughts. Another passage said that if children are giving you sh*t, act like a child yourself (even in public) in order to shame them into submission. That book then immediately went in the trash. Just because someone made the effort to write a book, doesn't mean it's not BS.

 

[eris]

I think a lot of people in this thread are giving a lot of good, practical advice. The only problem is that your emotions can't be controlled with logic. Someone said something like people should not cry or yell just because you want to. Well, I dont think anyone actually wants to do that. Some people don't have complete awareness or control of themselves.

 

[csmswhs]

I think a lot of people in this thread are giving a lot of good, practical advice. The only problem is that your emotions can't be controlled with logic. Someone said something like people should not cry or yell just because you want to. Well, I dont think anyone actually wants to do that. Some people don't have complete awareness or control of themselves.

what is not to cry or yell about in this life? sure there are things, but even those things make me want to cry

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I think it's ok to lean into your emotions and pain, within reason, of course. Pushing down emotions can lead to worse things like overeating and substance abuse.
I've read some interesting neuroscience books on how logical thoughts and emotions are controlled by two separate parts of our brain. That's why it's often hard to think logically when we're in a spit-flecked rant or crying uncontrollably. It's almost physically impossible to think logically when our emotions have taken over.

Teresa

 

[Yabai.Youth]

Hi guys, I'm a little new around here.
This is a big problem for me. How do you guys control yourselves in heartbreaking situations? What do you guys do to supress your emotions when situation requires it?
Thanks for any help.