Drowning

[lbstanley70]

It happens so suddenly, a thought, mostly a song, is heard, and my mind is awash in memories of her and all these thoughts crash around my head, spinning me to and fro, covering me, taking away my breath and leaving me exhausted. I never know when they will come, only that they will and for those moments, I am spent.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Your mind is probably exhausted. *hug*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

do remember when you were slick hip and cool ?
There that part of me....in me too

 

[Ak5]

One phrase: Keep moving on!

Harsh, but true!

 

[lbstanley70]

Sound advice from all of you. I know what I need to do but this is the only place I let someone know how I am feeling when I don't want to feel anymore.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I missed a girl once so very much too, I remember, at the end of the relationship. Its funny how things you took for granted become so precious, and things that you found annoying become so invaluable. And yet in retrospect, I realized that my grief, too, was irrational.

Did I really like it that she was rather obsessively needy and demanded my attention over all other things, especially my study and self-improvement, the moment I got home from work? Did I like it that she could not respect that I had days for myself to hang out with my guys? Did I really need to waste so many hours in a MMORPG just because it made her happy to have company?

No, no, and no. And yet all those things seemed precious to me in moments of irrational grief.

I think what happens is that we fall into solace, a comfort of what things are, so that when change happens, it feels such a sharp and abrupt blow. It /is/ a loss, a true loss, but a loss that we can grow from, and perhaps, even get into a better place because of the loss.

 

[Thomas]]

I feel I know the feelings that you're describing Ibstanley... My latest attack happened to be while I was on a train to work, and everything reminded me. I suddenly found it very hard to breath, I had a tear in my eye and I wished more than ever that I was somewhere else rather than on a train to work... something that I chose instead of fixing things.

This will happen less and less as time goes on. I know that's really easy to say, and I didn't believe it either; but it will. It won't mean that your fondness and memories of her dissappear. It just means that they're buried deeper and deeper into your subconcious, so you'll get less of these overwhelming "drowning" feelings =x. You will forever miss her, like I will forever miss mine. But you will learn to get past it =x

One last thing; don't be afraid to embrace how you feel. It's the best way that you can heal. Don't try and ignore it (for example, by listening to happy music or doing something productive). In the main recovery phase, you really need to express how you feel and don't be afraid to let others see it.

I wish you all the best =x