ending it all
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
dn560 said:
I feel exactly the same, Im in the same situation, only difference is that I havent tried any doctors since 4-5 years, been thinking about it as everything else failed.
Sadly, I got no idea how to get out of it, but I'll share my "tips". Keep in mind this is what kinda helps me, Im in no way professional or anything like that, it's different for each person. Everything that I'll mention comes from my personal experiences.
The only thing I know is that it's you that can change it. No matter what I or anyone tells you, only yourself can help you. I can try to motivate you, try to make you see how great you are, try to make you see how much you're worth. And it will help you, for an day, an hour. You can get 100 people to say it and mean it. To help you, to tell you that everything is gonna be fine, not just to make you feel nice but cause they believe it. Unless you believe it yourself, it'll be useless in the long run
Getting friends etc is a good step, it helps keeping your mind clearer and your feelings in a better condition, but in the end its totally up to yourself to do it, to make the decision and stop feeling like that. Dont rely on others to help you, while it can be a great support, at some point they got their own issues, noone is perfect. And when they crash, you'll crash. Especially if they abandon you.
Getting friends to share your issues with is good, hanging around etc, chatting, having fun, is great. But as I said, YOU can change you. There is an old (literaly ancient) Greek saying "συν αθηνά και χείρα κίνει", it translates silly, it's "Move your arms with Athena(one of the Gods). It means, that it's not enough to pray, or expect stuff to get your way by god,luck, fate or anything/anyone. While, they may do, YOU need to be actively doing it, you need to try yourself
And before you say you're trying and its hard, I know it, Im trying myself. I keep failing, I keep going back to feeling like honeysuckle. I dont want to demotivate you, for me it was harder cause along with my depression issues etc, I had a really bad break up that made it worse.
For a week straight now I was lying to myself, faking that i feel better.
I forced myself to believe my life is fine, and tried to get back up. Then, yesterday and the day before that I just cried almost all day. I felt like honeysuckle, and I wanted to die. I cant eat, sleep, or feel interest about anything, I literaly feel like a waste of skin and life. But I try to keep it together. Im not strong, but im acting like I am.
I keep being "jealous" of my friends, they got their girls that they love, their jobs and are graduating soon. They got a set path in their lives. I got nothing.No matter how hard I study, I fail, I got no job, I got fired for being too agressive, and i got no girl. Im 21 and it feels like I have no future.
But im trying to create one. it sounds cliche, i feel like im speaking to a convention, trying to sell my book, "Erevetot's Guide to a Lifelong hapiness" or something like that and scam some people!
Anyways, Im gonna go ahead and compare you to me. From your post, I relate to everything. For the longest time I couldnt accept that there was something wrong with me though, until I was far in it. I accepted it, and still didnt try to change anything, and thats 2 years ago.
When I joined this forums I was 80% trough with my suicide plans. Literally 2-3 hours after I registered i hit 99% and backed out due to my ex. Me, joining and talking about everything in the next days was my cry for help. I was so desperate that i just went ahead and shared everything.
I feel that you're doing the same, seeking help because you want to change, feel better, and its great. It shows that you realized its time to fix everything thats wrong.
Getting it out, helps a lot. Knowing that someone will hear what you have to say helps, talking about it, writting about it, it's a great first step.
My personal next step was to find friends. Being lonely is hard to change, but being alone,unless you really want it, can be changed. I found friends through these forums, people that legit cared about me and spent hours chatting with, and i re-contacted the few people i ever considered friends IRL. As I mentioned in the start of my rant, getting friends is a great getaway. It keeps me busy for some time, chatting, doing stuff together, talking about their lives etc, it keeps your head busy with stuff other than how much your life sucks and how you'd want to be dead.
Now, other than that you just need to not give up. You need to start being strong, and no matter how hard you get beat down, keep going. If it feels like you're sinking in, dont let it keep you down. Just keep these 3 magic words in your mind, Dont give up.
Im sorry for the really long post, but I couldnt keep it sorter
dn560
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Erevetot said:dn560 said:
I feel exactly the same, Im in the same situation, only difference is that I havent tried any doctors since 4-5 years, been thinking about it as everything else failed.
Sadly, I got no idea how to get out of it, but I'll share my "tips". Keep in mind this is what kinda helps me, Im in no way professional or anything like that, it's different for each person. Everything that I'll mention comes from my personal experiences.
The only thing I know is that it's you that can change it. No matter what I or anyone tells you, only yourself can help you. I can try to motivate you, try to make you see how great you are, try to make you see how much you're worth. And it will help you, for an day, an hour. You can get 100 people to say it and mean it. To help you, to tell you that everything is gonna be fine, not just to make you feel nice but cause they believe it. Unless you believe it yourself, it'll be useless in the long run
Getting friends etc is a good step, it helps keeping your mind clearer and your feelings in a better condition, but in the end its totally up to yourself to do it, to make the decision and stop feeling like that. Dont rely on others to help you, while it can be a great support, at some point they got their own issues, noone is perfect. And when they crash, you'll crash. Especially if they abandon you.
Getting friends to share your issues with is good, hanging around etc, chatting, having fun, is great. But as I said, YOU can change you. There is an old (literaly ancient) Greek saying "συν αθηνά και χείρα κίνει", it translates silly, it's "Move your arms with Athena(one of the Gods). It means, that it's not enough to pray, or expect stuff to get your way by god,luck, fate or anything/anyone. While, they may do, YOU need to be actively doing it, you need to try yourself
And before you say you're trying and its hard, I know it, Im trying myself. I keep failing, I keep going back to feeling like honeysuckle. I dont want to demotivate you, for me it was harder cause along with my depression issues etc, I had a really bad break up that made it worse.
For a week straight now I was lying to myself, faking that i feel better.
I forced myself to believe my life is fine, and tried to get back up. Then, yesterday and the day before that I just cried almost all day. I felt like honeysuckle, and I wanted to die. I cant eat, sleep, or feel interest about anything, I literaly feel like a waste of skin and life. But I try to keep it together. Im not strong, but im acting like I am.
I keep being "jealous" of my friends, they got their girls that they love, their jobs and are graduating soon. They got a set path in their lives. I got nothing.No matter how hard I study, I fail, I got no job, I got fired for being too agressive, and i got no girl. Im 21 and it feels like I have no future.
But im trying to create one. it sounds cliche, i feel like im speaking to a convention, trying to sell my book, "Erevetot's Guide to a Lifelong hapiness" or something like that and scam some people!
Anyways, Im gonna go ahead and compare you to me. From your post, I relate to everything. For the longest time I couldnt accept that there was something wrong with me though, until I was far in it. I accepted it, and still didnt try to change anything, and thats 2 years ago.
When I joined this forums I was 80% trough with my suicide plans. Literally 2-3 hours after I registered i hit 99% and backed out due to my ex. Me, joining and talking about everything in the next days was my cry for help. I was so desperate that i just went ahead and shared everything.
I feel that you're doing the same, seeking help because you want to change, feel better, and its great. It shows that you realized its time to fix everything thats wrong.
Getting it out, helps a lot. Knowing that someone will hear what you have to say helps, talking about it, writting about it, it's a great first step.
My personal next step was to find friends. Being lonely is hard to change, but being alone,unless you really want it, can be changed. I found friends through these forums, people that legit cared about me and spent hours chatting with, and i re-contacted the few people i ever considered friends IRL. As I mentioned in the start of my rant, getting friends is a great getaway. It keeps me busy for some time, chatting, doing stuff together, talking about their lives etc, it keeps your head busy with stuff other than how much your life sucks and how you'd want to be dead.
Now, other than that you just need to not give up. You need to start being strong, and no matter how hard you get beat down, keep going. If it feels like you're sinking in, dont let it keep you down. Just keep these 3 magic words in your mind, Dont give up.
Im sorry for the really long post, but I couldnt keep it sorter
honestly I don't give a honeysuckle about friends, I been alone long enough im used to it, im sick of friends always stabbing me in the back so ithink im better off alone. as for a girl I don't care either I could care less about them. all I want in this life is my health and to graduate from university.
cumulus.james
Well-known member
dn560 said:Erevetot said:dn560 said:
I feel exactly the same, Im in the same situation, only difference is that I havent tried any doctors since 4-5 years, been thinking about it as everything else failed.
Sadly, I got no idea how to get out of it, but I'll share my "tips". Keep in mind this is what kinda helps me, Im in no way professional or anything like that, it's different for each person. Everything that I'll mention comes from my personal experiences.
The only thing I know is that it's you that can change it. No matter what I or anyone tells you, only yourself can help you. I can try to motivate you, try to make you see how great you are, try to make you see how much you're worth. And it will help you, for an day, an hour. You can get 100 people to say it and mean it. To help you, to tell you that everything is gonna be fine, not just to make you feel nice but cause they believe it. Unless you believe it yourself, it'll be useless in the long run
Getting friends etc is a good step, it helps keeping your mind clearer and your feelings in a better condition, but in the end its totally up to yourself to do it, to make the decision and stop feeling like that. Dont rely on others to help you, while it can be a great support, at some point they got their own issues, noone is perfect. And when they crash, you'll crash. Especially if they abandon you.
Getting friends to share your issues with is good, hanging around etc, chatting, having fun, is great. But as I said, YOU can change you. There is an old (literaly ancient) Greek saying "συν αθηνά και χείρα κίνει", it translates silly, it's "Move your arms with Athena(one of the Gods). It means, that it's not enough to pray, or expect stuff to get your way by god,luck, fate or anything/anyone. While, they may do, YOU need to be actively doing it, you need to try yourself
And before you say you're trying and its hard, I know it, Im trying myself. I keep failing, I keep going back to feeling like honeysuckle. I dont want to demotivate you, for me it was harder cause along with my depression issues etc, I had a really bad break up that made it worse.
For a week straight now I was lying to myself, faking that i feel better.
I forced myself to believe my life is fine, and tried to get back up. Then, yesterday and the day before that I just cried almost all day. I felt like honeysuckle, and I wanted to die. I cant eat, sleep, or feel interest about anything, I literaly feel like a waste of skin and life. But I try to keep it together. Im not strong, but im acting like I am.
I keep being "jealous" of my friends, they got their girls that they love, their jobs and are graduating soon. They got a set path in their lives. I got nothing.No matter how hard I study, I fail, I got no job, I got fired for being too agressive, and i got no girl. Im 21 and it feels like I have no future.
But im trying to create one. it sounds cliche, i feel like im speaking to a convention, trying to sell my book, "Erevetot's Guide to a Lifelong hapiness" or something like that and scam some people!
Anyways, Im gonna go ahead and compare you to me. From your post, I relate to everything. For the longest time I couldnt accept that there was something wrong with me though, until I was far in it. I accepted it, and still didnt try to change anything, and thats 2 years ago.
When I joined this forums I was 80% trough with my suicide plans. Literally 2-3 hours after I registered i hit 99% and backed out due to my ex. Me, joining and talking about everything in the next days was my cry for help. I was so desperate that i just went ahead and shared everything.
I feel that you're doing the same, seeking help because you want to change, feel better, and its great. It shows that you realized its time to fix everything thats wrong.
Getting it out, helps a lot. Knowing that someone will hear what you have to say helps, talking about it, writting about it, it's a great first step.
My personal next step was to find friends. Being lonely is hard to change, but being alone,unless you really want it, can be changed. I found friends through these forums, people that legit cared about me and spent hours chatting with, and i re-contacted the few people i ever considered friends IRL. As I mentioned in the start of my rant, getting friends is a great getaway. It keeps me busy for some time, chatting, doing stuff together, talking about their lives etc, it keeps your head busy with stuff other than how much your life sucks and how you'd want to be dead.
Now, other than that you just need to not give up. You need to start being strong, and no matter how hard you get beat down, keep going. If it feels like you're sinking in, dont let it keep you down. Just keep these 3 magic words in your mind, Dont give up.
Im sorry for the really long post, but I couldnt keep it sorter
honestly I don't give a honeysuckle about friends, I been alone long enough im used to it, im sick of friends always stabbing me in the back so ithink im better off alone. as for a girl I don't care either I could care less about them. all I want in this life is my health and to graduate from university.
Please read what you have written. it is a statement that is full of HATE not love, for yourself or anyone else. If you hate everyone else, and hate yourself, then you will always be hated and you are the creator of your own misery.
I'm done with this self pity. I do it, I always did it and that’s why I am ******* lonely. Now you are doing it and we are both doing it and lets both be honest. We are being c***s to ourselves and to everyone else then blaming everyone else for our own s****.
You need to stop it, as do I and we both need to grow the f*** up.
dn560
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[/quote]
Please read what you have written. it is a statement that is full of HATE not love, for yourself or anyone else. If you hate everyone else, and hate yourself, then you will always be hated and you are the creator of your own misery.
I'm done with this self pity. I do it, I always did it and that’s why I am ******* lonely. Now you are doing it and we are both doing it and lets both be honest. We are being c***s to ourselves and to everyone else then blaming everyone else for our own s****.
You need to stop it, as do I and we both need to grow the f*** up.
[/quote]
I think you misunderstood me theres a lot more to my situation than just being lonely.
Please read what you have written. it is a statement that is full of HATE not love, for yourself or anyone else. If you hate everyone else, and hate yourself, then you will always be hated and you are the creator of your own misery.
I'm done with this self pity. I do it, I always did it and that’s why I am ******* lonely. Now you are doing it and we are both doing it and lets both be honest. We are being c***s to ourselves and to everyone else then blaming everyone else for our own s****.
You need to stop it, as do I and we both need to grow the f*** up.
[/quote]
I think you misunderstood me theres a lot more to my situation than just being lonely.
Obviously some of you know certain words are NOT allowed to be used here, putting *** to censor them doesn't make it any different.
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
dn560 said:
I hear you. There is a lot going on in your life than just loneliness.
It seems like you're very frustrated and upset about the roadblocks you're experiencing in your life right now. (hug) And you have every right to be.
Nothing is going to make it better overnight. And, it feels overwhelming and unbearable.
I get it.
I'm not sure if this helps but, just know I care about you, and I'm rooting for you to get through this.
dn560 said:
it still doesnt change the fact that you should try to get better.
From what you said, Im guesing that you've been heartbroken by a person you loved and meant a lot to you, possibly a girl/relationship. Also, that friends backstabbed you. There are probably more stuff in there, that caused you to feel like that
As I said it's hard, it's tough. You feel hopeles, helpless, like there is no future for you, that your life is gonna be this way forever. It's not gonna, not if you dont want it.You're 20, at the age that you "must get in the job hunt, finish your studies and be succesfull, make money, get a girl", and you're getting stressed out.
I gotta agree with cumulus.james . You're beating yourself too much. I dont know better, he doesnt know better, but we're in a really similar situation.
You got people, total strangers, in these forums that care about you. You already opened up once, dont lose hope in friends. People that care about you can be a great ally in situations like these. Feel free to PM me anytime if you wanna talk, about anything
I dont have any great advice, anything I had i said it on the really long post. Just try to calm down, and take it slowly. You can do it,you can feel better, you can get out of this.
dn560
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it still doesnt change the fact that you should try to get better.
From what you said, Im guesing that you've been heartbroken by a person you loved and meant a lot to you, possibly a girl/relationship. Also, that friends backstabbed you. There are probably more stuff in there, that caused you to feel like that
As I said it's hard, it's tough. You feel hopeles, helpless, like there is no future for you, that your life is gonna be this way forever. It's not gonna, not if you dont want it.You're 20, at the age that you "must get in the job hunt, finish your studies and be succesfull, make money, get a girl", and you're getting stressed out.
I gotta agree with cumulus.james . You're beating yourself too much. I dont know better, he doesnt know better, but we're in a really similar situation.
You got people, total strangers, in these forums that care about you. You already opened up once, dont lose hope in friends. People that care about you can be a great ally in situations like these. Feel free to PM me anytime if you wanna talk, about anything
I dont have any great advice, anything I had i said it on the really long post. Just try to calm down, and take it slowly. You can do it,you can feel better, you can get out of this.
[/quote]
i'll try....
From what you said, Im guesing that you've been heartbroken by a person you loved and meant a lot to you, possibly a girl/relationship. Also, that friends backstabbed you. There are probably more stuff in there, that caused you to feel like that
As I said it's hard, it's tough. You feel hopeles, helpless, like there is no future for you, that your life is gonna be this way forever. It's not gonna, not if you dont want it.You're 20, at the age that you "must get in the job hunt, finish your studies and be succesfull, make money, get a girl", and you're getting stressed out.
I gotta agree with cumulus.james . You're beating yourself too much. I dont know better, he doesnt know better, but we're in a really similar situation.
You got people, total strangers, in these forums that care about you. You already opened up once, dont lose hope in friends. People that care about you can be a great ally in situations like these. Feel free to PM me anytime if you wanna talk, about anything
I dont have any great advice, anything I had i said it on the really long post. Just try to calm down, and take it slowly. You can do it,you can feel better, you can get out of this.
[/quote]
i'll try....
cumulus.james
Well-known member
Sci-Fi said:
Oh sorry! I thought that *** made it ok. Wont do it again.
I am usually drunk when posting on here too so that does not help.
W
WallflowerGirl83
Guest
dn560 said:
Please don't end you're life. Call a hotline please. Do this if you're serious. I'm not sure what's going on with you right now, but if you're serious please call a hotline and speak to them about you're thoughts.
And if you'd like to pm me and talk to me after you're done you're more than welcome to do that too. Stay safe! ~hugs~
cumulus.james
Well-known member
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Don't end your life mate - we are here for you, talk to us if you need to but do just TALK.
cumulus.james
Well-known member
dn560 said:
Talk then!
W
WallflowerGirl83
Guest
Trust me I understand where you're coming from. I used to be depressed too and want to end my life all the time. They've been lots of times where I sat in my room and cried my eyes out cause I had no friends but I keep trying to do everything I can to get better. I see a therapist now and she helps me with my emotional problems that I'm dealing with. Bottling all those feelings inside will build up and build up overtime, if you need to speak you're mind go ahead and do so. Nobody will judge you, I for one will not judge you. I have a very open mind and will do my best to listen to you.dn560 said:
dn560
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[/quote]
Trust me I understand where you're coming from. I used to be depressed too and want to end my life all the time. They've been lots of times where I sat in my room and cried my eyes out cause I had no friends but I keep trying to do everything I can to get better. I see a therapist now and she helps me with my emotional problems that I'm dealing with. Bottling all those feelings inside will build up and build up overtime, if you need to speak you're mind go ahead and do so. Nobody will judge you, I for one will not judge you. I have a very open mind and will do my best to listen to you.
[/quote]
ok cool, a bit off topic here but every time I see that kurt cobain pic reminds me when I had long hair, kurt is one of my heroes love nirvana
Trust me I understand where you're coming from. I used to be depressed too and want to end my life all the time. They've been lots of times where I sat in my room and cried my eyes out cause I had no friends but I keep trying to do everything I can to get better. I see a therapist now and she helps me with my emotional problems that I'm dealing with. Bottling all those feelings inside will build up and build up overtime, if you need to speak you're mind go ahead and do so. Nobody will judge you, I for one will not judge you. I have a very open mind and will do my best to listen to you.
[/quote]
ok cool, a bit off topic here but every time I see that kurt cobain pic reminds me when I had long hair, kurt is one of my heroes love nirvana
