Every Day's a Holiday

[fantasyfirefighter]

Memorial Day: alone in my room
4th of July: alone in my room
Halloween: alone in my room
Christmas: alone in my room

On New Years I try to go to bed at 9 PM and wake up once all the goddamn stupid revelry is over.

Today is Independence Day. I am about to go to work. I guess I'm lucky to be working. I'll be back this afternoon.

Maybe if people notice this post, we could have a 4th of July party on here.

And we won't feel sooo alone?

 

[fantasyfirefighter]

Okay, since no one replied I guess I'll celebrate with myself.

Just got back from work. California sun is unbearable, as I pulled into my driveway all I could think was "burrow in, draw the curtains, block out all sun and wait for the day to end"

I actually think I might have a lovely evening. Maybe I'll play some guitar. I'm staying sober tonight.

I'm a lifelong marijuana addict but I'm defintiely ready to kick it now.

I have found that it compromises my character, and I don't care to present my best self to people, and naturally, they'll want nothing to do with a scumbucket like me.

So my decade-long story of desolate isolation/sexless love-free ice cold frigid is really intertwined with a variety of addictions.

Maybe as I sober up again I'll find that loneliness isn't this lifelong paralyzed condition.
I'm definitely addicted to loneliness. I definitely impose it on myself. Most people I meet fall into 2 categories:

1. Unbearably boring and not worth my time
or
2. I am too inferior to interact with them

So I oughta be less judgemental, of myself and others?

*echo*
(in Pink Floyd voice): is there anybody out there?

 

[TheRealCallie]

There are usually people in the chat room. You could always go in there and check it out. You wouldn't be alone.

 

[mgmax]

You can ask your questions and answer other people's questions here: (SPAM) – it possible without any registration there, logins and passwords. In the future, this system will work on all languages. I found there a lot about it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey fantasyfirefighter, welcome to the forum. I do hope you get to sober up, I think you might actually get to see things in a different light then. Best wishes on that.

 

[Susan1]

I can relate to the pot smoking and drinking it helps to not deal with the loneliness. But then everyday becomes one very long day and very boring. I try to only get high once a week just to give myself a break from feeling the pain of loneliness.