ex- wanting to be just friends

[kkathylv]

1st thing 1st... I am drunk right now. and my ex - is a girl - I am a lesbian.

So she says lets be friends and see what happens after that. I took her to dinner and i paid for it. I took her to breakfast on wednesday and paid for it. But says her feels for me is just that of a friend.

But i think she goes out of her way to hurt me.

in her own words she tells me:

" I dont want to lose you, I want to be your friend. Your a big part of my life"

But I dont feel like a big part of her life. Yes she goes out with me here and there. but she does things that hurts me. Why? is she going out of her way to hurt me? or is she doing it not knowing it would hurt me? =(

 

[Naleena]

((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))))))
It's a lot easier I think to go from friends to more than to go back the other way. For whatever reason, it seems she isn't feeling the same as you are right now. It may be better for you to stop seeing her for a little while to give yourself time to heal. Maybe you can be "just friends" later but, right now you want more and it's not good to punish yourself by taking her out and being around her. Hopefully she can respect that. How can she expect to be "just friends" when you were more? You need some time to heal. She may not want to lose you but, hopefully she can give you the time away from her to heal. Like they say, You can't have your cake and eat it too. Think about yourself and I know this advice, if you could call it that is a lot more easy to give than to follow. You never know what a person feels unless your in thier shoes and when it's you, it's a different story. SO much easier to look from the outside in. Good luck and I hope you find someone to love you back You deserve that- we all do.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

But I dont feel like a big part of her life. Yes she goes out with me here and there. but she does things that hurts me. Why? is she going out of her way to hurt me? or is she doing it not knowing it would hurt me? =(

I agree with what Naleena has posted.

If you are going to continually drink and be so down you should tell her that is what you think about your situation with her sometime in the future. If its come down to you feeling like this do not keep on frustrating yourself by keeping it on the inside. For now, just try to keep a distance. See what arises.

 

[Papabear]

I think you should post this when you are sober...

however... she probably isn't trying to hurt you, she's probably just doing what she wants to do, and you are thinking shes trying to hurt you because you want to validate your pain. It's normal at the end of relationships.