S
skep
Guest
I am sad. I feel like my problems never go away. And you know what? They never do. For anybody. Problem is, is that I am not just experiencing just a run of the mill depression. My mind actually portrays a picture and logical explanation of why I should feel as bad as I feel.
I have no one to really talk to, to really let it all out. Because, I am ashamed of my own inner difficulties. I don't know how unique they really are, but since anyone with my type of emotional roller coasters and confusions probably do not talk about them anyway, I guess there isn't much of a chance I can know. But, here, where I can hide behind a screen, I can let it all out.
The inner hurt is curled up like a ball of dust between my chest and my abdomen. Or more like jelly. Whatever, that didn't make sense. But that is how I feel.
I feel different than the rest of the people in this world. While acquaintances want to go out to party, get drunk, and dance; I just want the peace and quiet of being home.
Not only that, but in a social situation there is a strong chance that I will feel very awkward. Not knowing what to say, when to say it; and when I do, it may come out weird.
I guess maybe I just perceive things in a very different fashion.
Being around girls, can put me in a feeling of stress. I am a guy, and I guess I am admitting that I have a communication problem with the opposite sex. That is a very big problem that distresses me a lot.
It's not that I am not likeable, it's more like I always get put in the "friend zone" (and I am sure the guys here know what I am talking about). And that's only if I actually do get to some kind of 'zone'.
Or maybe I put myself there. I do not know. But, when it gets down to it, that's the fact.
I feel lonely. I want love. As mushy and non-macho as that sounds, that is the truth. I am one hundred percent honest with myself, and with you.
I just want the feeling of curling up at bed in the middle of the night with someone I love. Someone to talk with about anything and everything.
I just don't have any more to say. I just wanted to get that out. It's not even the half of it, but it's something.
I always ask myself if I should take the exit. The road doesn't seem so much paved anymore. I am confused. I don't even know if what I say makes sense anymore. I don't know if anything I wrote here made sense to anyone but myself. Well, at least I expressed it. I guess that's what's important.
I have no one to really talk to, to really let it all out. Because, I am ashamed of my own inner difficulties. I don't know how unique they really are, but since anyone with my type of emotional roller coasters and confusions probably do not talk about them anyway, I guess there isn't much of a chance I can know. But, here, where I can hide behind a screen, I can let it all out.
The inner hurt is curled up like a ball of dust between my chest and my abdomen. Or more like jelly. Whatever, that didn't make sense. But that is how I feel.
I feel different than the rest of the people in this world. While acquaintances want to go out to party, get drunk, and dance; I just want the peace and quiet of being home.
Not only that, but in a social situation there is a strong chance that I will feel very awkward. Not knowing what to say, when to say it; and when I do, it may come out weird.
I guess maybe I just perceive things in a very different fashion.
Being around girls, can put me in a feeling of stress. I am a guy, and I guess I am admitting that I have a communication problem with the opposite sex. That is a very big problem that distresses me a lot.
It's not that I am not likeable, it's more like I always get put in the "friend zone" (and I am sure the guys here know what I am talking about). And that's only if I actually do get to some kind of 'zone'.
Or maybe I put myself there. I do not know. But, when it gets down to it, that's the fact.
I feel lonely. I want love. As mushy and non-macho as that sounds, that is the truth. I am one hundred percent honest with myself, and with you.
I just want the feeling of curling up at bed in the middle of the night with someone I love. Someone to talk with about anything and everything.
I just don't have any more to say. I just wanted to get that out. It's not even the half of it, but it's something.
I always ask myself if I should take the exit. The road doesn't seem so much paved anymore. I am confused. I don't even know if what I say makes sense anymore. I don't know if anything I wrote here made sense to anyone but myself. Well, at least I expressed it. I guess that's what's important.