facebook farce

[putter65]

So I go out with this woman about 6 weeks ago, have another date 3 weeks after that, since then not seen her.

I've been sending the odd text and facebook messages. A week after she see's me, she spends the weekend at some guys place and sleeps with him. A guy on her facebook she claims she doesn't know - 'I have no idea who he is' - were her words. I got told about her weekend with him by her next door neighbour, a woman I've known for 10 years.

So far, so honeysuckle.

She can't understand facebook because I can see exactly what she sends to this guy. On Sunday, she sent him some romantic songs and messages. I had a little think and thought 'balls to this' - I'm not playing some reserve to some guy with grey hair. He is welcome to her, she isn't great company anyway.

So I had planned not to contact her again and if she sent me text messages I would ignore them. Of course she sends one, all about her work. I wait for a few hours and then out of politeness, I reply, writing as little as possible. Good Luck. She rings me up straight away and we have a chat. She mostly complained about her life and job but she did mention going out this weekend.

After I hang up, she goes on facebook sends me a message 'thanks for been a good friend' - fair enough, I didn't mind that. But after that she started sending songs to my wall, most of them love songs. So I go thru the motions of 'liking' them.

Anyway this morning on facebook I could see that the other guy turned up after me and she sent songs to his wall (All love songs, with kisses) and this went on for a few hours. (She can't know that I can see all this !)

So what am I ? Some kind of warm up act ? Or was I just somebody to make the other guy jealous ? Farce really !

 

[IgnoredOne]

Possibly just this: She finds you okay as a friend; she likes him a lot more romantically, with kisses.

And the songs? She just thinks the songs are cool.

 

[putter65]

Possibly just this: She finds you okay as a friend; she likes him a lot more romantically, with kisses.

And the songs? She just thinks the songs are cool.

Your quite possibly correct. Seems a continuing trend that I'm the 'friend' and nothing else. It's not something I am very happy about. I'm not sure I can be arsed about having another female friend. I have enough of them at work.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Your quite possibly correct. Seems a continuing trend that I'm the 'friend' and nothing else. It's not something I am very happy about. I'm not sure I can be arsed about having another female friend. I have enough of them at work.

Well, you might want to learn how to get to know women so you don't get slotted into the friend role.

 

[twinklestar]

more likely showing off infront of her Facebook audience that she can pull two people, i've seen it lots!

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Yes, stop torturing yourself and let it go. She sounds like an old ketchup packet that fell on the floor at mcdonalds.

 

[putter65]

Yes, stop torturing yourself and let it go. She sounds like an old ketchup packet that fell on the floor at mcdonalds.

I was planning to let go but when she sent me that text there is just something in me that can't be mean to anyone. I wasn't going to reply to it but after a couple of hours it started to get to me and I felt I had to. I only wrote a few lines. But then she rings me up for a chat.

I suppose if she's a friend who I see from time to time that it won't do any harm. Part of me feels sorry for her. When I met her I was looking for a girlfriend, somebody to have a laugh with and go places. And that has not happened.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You're doing the friendzone song and dance.

The less time you spend thinking about her or wanting her..the more time and energy you will have
in finding a woman that's willing to give you what you want or want what you want....

As for me...I'm too toxic for her for her to play with me like that.
I create stalkers
I dont have a problem playing the fields...if thats what I choose to do at the stage in my life.
Like I said Putter...juggle. It's a lot more common than you think for people to date multiple people
while they're dating. It comes with the territory of dating. It's not gender espacific.
I've dated women that were dating other men too. It's actaully healthy for people to date different people.
It makes perfect sense if you're purchasing material things becuase you're going to make a major investment.
You go house shoping, car shopping...So why would it be wrong to look around or shop around when it pretains to a life long partner?
Girls are sluts and guys are studs...You simply need to let go of this notion or idea.

I'm in a relationship at the moment..so my life are set on the rules Renae makes for me.lol
I've narrowed down my field or know what I want and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Reane and I are on the same page. We want the samething and have the same goals.
A partnership, compaionship, committment..etc
It was a journey for both her and I to get to this piont.
The rules and perimeters are different now for us. We're not single anymore.

I also dont think she's less of a person or anything wrong with her for wanting to play the fields.
This woman you're talking about had recently had just gotten a diviorce...yes?
Maybe she's not looking for a committment for a while and every girl have her needs.
Yes, of course she loves all the attentions she gets from men...nothing wrong with that.
Its more common than you think after people get out of a LT relationship or a diviorce.
She's just going through a stage in her life...as you are going through yours.
No need to get judgemental or condemn her.

I mean.... you like getting attentions from different women even at this stage in your life...So no double standards?

All I'm saying is....becareful of how to apply your morals and values to a perticular situation. Not every tool will work on all
situations.
You must adjust as you go, as circumstance, situations, and conditions in life changes.
Going with flow...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yes, it appears you've been friendzoned.

I also think that it was cruel of her to play you like that. If I were you, I'd drop her like a hot potato!

 

[putter65]

You're doing the friendzone song and dance.

The less time you spend thinking about her or wanting her..the more time and energy you will have
in finding a woman that's willing to give you what you want or want what you want....

As for me...I'm too toxic for her for her to play with me like that.
I create stalkers
I dont have a problem playing the fields...if thats what I choose to do at the stage in my life.
Like I said Putter...juggle. It's a lot more common than you think for people to date multiple people
while they're dating. It comes with the territory of dating. It's not gender espacific.
I've dated women that were dating other men too. It's actaully healthy for people to date different people.
It makes perfect sense if you're purchasing material things becuase you're going to make a major investment.
You go house shoping, car shopping...So why would it be wrong to look around or shop around when it pretains to a life long partner?
Girls are sluts and guys are studs...You simply need to let go of this notion or idea.

I'm in a relationship at the moment..so my life are set on the rules Renae makes for me.lol
I've narrowed down my field or know what I want and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Reane and I are on the same page. We want the samething and have the same goals.
A partnership, compaionship, committment..etc
It was a journey for both her and I to get to this piont.
The rules and perimeters are different now for us. We're not single anymore.

I also dont think she's less of a person or anything wrong with her for wanting to play the fields.
This woman you're talking about had recently had just gotten a diviorce...yes?
Maybe she's not looking for a committment for a while and every girl have her needs.
Yes, of course she loves all the attentions she gets from men...nothing wrong with that.
Its more common than you think after people get out of a LT relationship or a diviorce.
She's just going through a stage in her life...as you are going through yours.
No need to get judgemental or condemn her.

I mean.... you like getting attentions from different women even at this stage in your life...So no double standards?

All I'm saying is....becareful of how to apply your morals and values to a perticular situation. Not every tool will work on all
situations.
You must adjust as you go, as circumstance, situations, and conditions in life changes.
Going with flow...

The good things are I'm not thinking about her that much and I have no feelings about her. It's like 1% compared to other women from the past.

I suppose your right, I send messages left, right and centre to women on facebook. And she can see what I do.

At work today, she rang 3 times, I couldn't answer because I was working. When I got home she said she 'just wanted somebody to talk to' - something upsetting had happened. I feel a bit mean and rotten having a go at her all the time.

---

You're doing the friendzone song and dance.

The less time you spend thinking about her or wanting her..the more time and energy you will have
in finding a woman that's willing to give you what you want or want what you want....

As for me...I'm too toxic for her for her to play with me like that.
I create stalkers
I dont have a problem playing the fields...if thats what I choose to do at the stage in my life.
Like I said Putter...juggle. It's a lot more common than you think for people to date multiple people
while they're dating. It comes with the territory of dating. It's not gender espacific.
I've dated women that were dating other men too. It's actaully healthy for people to date different people.
It makes perfect sense if you're purchasing material things becuase you're going to make a major investment.
You go house shoping, car shopping...So why would it be wrong to look around or shop around when it pretains to a life long partner?
Girls are sluts and guys are studs...You simply need to let go of this notion or idea.

I'm in a relationship at the moment..so my life are set on the rules Renae makes for me.lol
I've narrowed down my field or know what I want and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Reane and I are on the same page. We want the samething and have the same goals.
A partnership, compaionship, committment..etc
It was a journey for both her and I to get to this piont.
The rules and perimeters are different now for us. We're not single anymore.

I also dont think she's less of a person or anything wrong with her for wanting to play the fields.
This woman you're talking about had recently had just gotten a diviorce...yes?
Maybe she's not looking for a committment for a while and every girl have her needs.
Yes, of course she loves all the attentions she gets from men...nothing wrong with that.
Its more common than you think after people get out of a LT relationship or a diviorce.
She's just going through a stage in her life...as you are going through yours.
No need to get judgemental or condemn her.

I mean.... you like getting attentions from different women even at this stage in your life...So no double standards?

All I'm saying is....becareful of how to apply your morals and values to a perticular situation. Not every tool will work on all
situations.
You must adjust as you go, as circumstance, situations, and conditions in life changes.
Going with flow...

One of the reasons I did this post was because I'm not sure I want to be involved with this woman. Since it's not going to be girlfriend / boyfriend and she seems to complain about everything. Is it healthy for me to be this shoulder to cry on all the time ?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Another term for friendzone is an emotional Tampon.

IDK..Putter. As you said. You have been out of the dating scene for a while.
I've dealt with plenty of women like her. Thats one of the reasons I didnt like dating.
All the games and this kind of stuff that comes with the territory.
But the alternative to that is stairing at the four walls.
Whatever you do...dont beat up on yourself.
Keep moving forward and stay positive.

I'm in a relationship at the moment. My fiance and I have a long history.
She and I never did the friendzone thing in our relationship.
But we're still very, very playful , have lots of fun and great times together.

I must have been out ta my fucken mind to leave her mnay years ago. Live and learn I guess.
I'm totally luckie and blessed to be with her. She's a very beautiful fun loving person.

 

[putter65]

She invited me down for coffee and we ended up kissing. SHe looked really happy when I kissed her. I must have come across as a slow twat because it took me ages to do anything.

I don't have any feelings for her and she is hard work to get along with. It felt like the moment I stopped caring, everything started to move forward.

 

[IgnoredOne]

She invited me down for coffee and we ended up kissing. SHe looked really happy when I kissed her. I must have come across as a slow twat because it took me ages to do anything.

I don't have any feelings for her and she is hard work to get along with. It felt like the moment I stopped caring, everything started to move forward.

Thank you for growing out of pure niceness ^_^

 

[putter65]

She's deleted the other guy from her facebook. This last week she has changed, she seems really into me. Strange how nothing happened for weeks then all of a sudden things are happening. It feels certainly different having a girlfriend (if I can call her that !) - I am maybe a cold fish and I don't think I will whispering sweet nothings in her ear just yet.

It's cool though and nice !