feel really lonely..

[kimberleykat]

I have a lot of friends but I feel I am fading away from them. I used to go out with them a lot before I finally came to this point that I changed too much to get along with some of them. I can sense the changes going on inside me everyday I wake up. But it is supposed to be something positive cuz they all started after I ended the crappy relationship a few months ago. Maybe I'm just not used to them..:X
I hate myself when I am in so much need of somebody. I just need someone who will NOT leave me and who can share with me all my happiness and sadness and whatever...A relationship is something i can never handle well. I think I need a real friend that doesn't tend to disappear. (Is it strange if I say I hate it to hell when people just disappear from me without any reason? cuz once I got somebody telling me you should consider seriously if YOU have any problem that drives people away!)

 

[Dwi]

We all need people around us.

You are a very lucky person and should consider yourself blessed for having many friends to share life with. I don't know why you've changed your views on your friends (if I understand correctly) or why you are changing. But it's clear that your friends are very dear to you, and you don't feel happy about it.

So why not ask yourself that? Do you really want to cut off from those dear to you? Don't hate yourself for needing somebody, hate yourself when you need no one, for then you'd be a living embodiment of the very thing this forum tries to help you get over.

I'm so lonely there's not a word yet for it, and I regret everytime I substituted the need to talk to a dear friend with silence, and mind you i love silence. But sometimes it's a love i'd be willing to trade for a good friend in the right moment.

But I don't know if your friends are the ones dissapearing from you it's not very clear from your post. Either way, if you've got good friends, do not push them aside!! Yell to them that you're falling so they can pick you up, that's what friends are for... otherwise they won't hear you and you'll crash to the ground.


D

 

[kimberleykat]

thanks Dwi for replying at my thread. at least I got some voice and it means I m not sending words into outer space ha ha
My ever-best friend (we ve been close friends for like 15 years) is going to study abroad in half an year. Another good friend has been ignoring me for months since she got some job that keeps her so occupied while I was still in the middle of nowhere seeking internship. Then I got afraid to talk to another close friend in my university cuz she and her bf saw how some damned jackass dumped me before I left him..(another long story tho..) and then all that left is sending a good morning msg to a male friend of mine at times+chatting online with buddies that i ve never met in person...

how pathetic that is....

 

[Dwi]

thanks Dwi for replying at my thread. at least I got some voice and it means I m not sending words into outer space ha ha
My ever-best friend (we ve been close friends for like 15 years) is going to study abroad in half an year. Another good friend has been ignoring me for months since she got some job that keeps her so occupied while I was still in the middle of nowhere seeking internship. Then I got afraid to talk to another close friend in my university cuz she and her bf saw how some damned jackass dumped me before I left him..(another long story tho..) and then all that left is sending a good morning msg to a male friend of mine at times+chatting online with buddies that i ve never met in person...

how pathetic that is....

You know, it's not pathetic. Part of growing up is having to endure the ever increasing distance between friends. In my case, all my old friends have continued with their lives, only one or two remain. But this was cause I did nothing about it. You on the other hand, still have time to salvage some or all of these friends.

Your best friend: Try to arrange a visit monthly (if on same country) or yearly (another country) so that you keep in touch. This may be very hard as long distance friendships are the thoughest to have, but if you hang on you'll have the strongest bond ever... putting James Bond to shame.

Friend with job: Experience will teach you that sometimes, people just move on. For whatever reason, time is a treacherous thing. It corrodes and destroys everything, material or inmaterial. Sometimes it happens faster, because someone got a job, someone got pregnant, someone passed away.... and so on. You should confront your friend and see whats going on, and hope they havent fallen victim to the jaws of time.

University friend: Dont be embarassed by who you are. If your ex was an *******, too bad for him. You don't have to feel bad about it or be afraid of your college friend talking behind your back. IF shes really a friend shell take like a real lady and support you, now go get her!!

And why not send your buddy a good morning message? It would feel good to have someone whos day i could make a better day, and i don't so don't waste the opportunity!!

Hope you succeed in your endeavors!

D

 

[TheWrathof_Jay]

any relationship/communication cannot be pathetic. you already have connections with people you just need to build on them

 

[kimberleykat]

You know, it's not pathetic. Part of growing up is having to endure the ever increasing distance between friends. In my case, all my old friends have continued with their lives, only one or two remain. But this was cause I did nothing about it. You on the other hand, still have time to salvage some or all of these friends.

Many thanks D..
I will take your advice and try to salvage some or all of the friendship and good feeling related.And I should always learn to live on with what I already have,before someday I cry over the loss of it..

---

any relationship/communication cannot be pathetic. you already have connections with people you just need to build on them

anyways, thanks Jay, although its hard to build on them at times..

 

[SophiaGrace]

Take a look at this post from another forum...it may help you:

http://www.successvibe.com/forum/showthread.php?p=168291#post168291