Brian
Well-known member
Men of alonelylife, and women too for that matter if you fall in a simmilar situation, I have a proposal for you.
First off, let it be known that I am no specimen of outstanding physical beauty. I am also rough around the edges with women. I am 21, and I would estimate my level of romantic experience is probably on par with that of a 13 year old. And like probably all of you still reading, I've felt that gut wrenching fear of approach or rejection. The tension in a conversation with a woman. I've cried the tears and felt the shame, longed for companionship, watched the happy couples walking down the street as easily as you and I sleep through our weekends.
But I have also tasted success. And I know if I can find it, we are all capable of it on some level. We have to be. This year I have gotten phone numbers from 2 of 3 girls asked. I got a date with one of them. Afterwards, I flirted with another girl (of almost stunning beauty) and found she was rather receptive, or at least not opposed to my conversation.
And I know some of us have gotten even farther in pursuit of relationships, in spite of what they may have come to.
Given all of that, I say we can replicate it, actively support eachother, and hopefully overcome some of our fear or awkwardness. Unacceptance said it best, I think: "I am pointing out that he need not fear women, they are not some spooky other lifeform, they are regular people and there is no need to be morbidly afraid of them as if they are going to damage you in some way."
So what are we really afraid of? Really?
My proposal is this. Myself and whoever else wishes to honestly partake in this endeavor will form a pact...or at least as much of a pact as we can over the internet. Think of it like the pact from the original American Pie...except instead of promising each other to get laid, the promise of the pact is that we will each, over the course of a week, ask two girls (more if you are feeling industrious) for their phone numbers. Random girls in public who we do not know. We will chat them up no matter how afraid we are. A sworn promise to eachother. In this endeavor we will have extra emotional strength, should we need it, because we will know every other participant is experiencing the same tribulation, and in that there is brotherhood.
To set the rules clear:
1. One week, ask two or more girls for phone numbers.
2. No backing out, or we all fail.
3. It does not matter 'how far' you get. You can get laughed at or you can find the love of your life. It doesn't even matter if she gives you her number or not; we can move on to that goal later. For now, we are overcoming our loneliness.
4. We will report back and share our experiences, and gather support from one another.
5. We will take control of our own futures; fate is not damning us. Our troubles are our own and we MUST overcome them.
6. We will become comfortable with this, and realize that it's OK to be rejected: we as humans still have a right to continue seeking companionship.
7. After we have a significant number of participants, we will set our 'start' date and see where we are a week hence. After the commencement, others are still welcome to join the pact and take on the challenge.
8. In reference to our goal, we will never...ever...say "I can't do it". Because yes, we can. And we will.
This may be a huge thing for some people. I know it is for me. In making a promise to others, and not just myself, I *have* to follow through. I have no choice but to approach two women because the rest of you will be counting on me just as I will be counting on you. But that's why we have to do it, I think. Others would laugh at us; but amongst ourselves, we have true support in our promise to each other.
I hearby swear to any who join me that I will approach two women within a week of our commencement. Who's with me? Who wants allies, and who is done being conquered by fear and loneliness?
First off, let it be known that I am no specimen of outstanding physical beauty. I am also rough around the edges with women. I am 21, and I would estimate my level of romantic experience is probably on par with that of a 13 year old. And like probably all of you still reading, I've felt that gut wrenching fear of approach or rejection. The tension in a conversation with a woman. I've cried the tears and felt the shame, longed for companionship, watched the happy couples walking down the street as easily as you and I sleep through our weekends.
But I have also tasted success. And I know if I can find it, we are all capable of it on some level. We have to be. This year I have gotten phone numbers from 2 of 3 girls asked. I got a date with one of them. Afterwards, I flirted with another girl (of almost stunning beauty) and found she was rather receptive, or at least not opposed to my conversation.
And I know some of us have gotten even farther in pursuit of relationships, in spite of what they may have come to.
Given all of that, I say we can replicate it, actively support eachother, and hopefully overcome some of our fear or awkwardness. Unacceptance said it best, I think: "I am pointing out that he need not fear women, they are not some spooky other lifeform, they are regular people and there is no need to be morbidly afraid of them as if they are going to damage you in some way."
So what are we really afraid of? Really?
My proposal is this. Myself and whoever else wishes to honestly partake in this endeavor will form a pact...or at least as much of a pact as we can over the internet. Think of it like the pact from the original American Pie...except instead of promising each other to get laid, the promise of the pact is that we will each, over the course of a week, ask two girls (more if you are feeling industrious) for their phone numbers. Random girls in public who we do not know. We will chat them up no matter how afraid we are. A sworn promise to eachother. In this endeavor we will have extra emotional strength, should we need it, because we will know every other participant is experiencing the same tribulation, and in that there is brotherhood.
To set the rules clear:
1. One week, ask two or more girls for phone numbers.
2. No backing out, or we all fail.
3. It does not matter 'how far' you get. You can get laughed at or you can find the love of your life. It doesn't even matter if she gives you her number or not; we can move on to that goal later. For now, we are overcoming our loneliness.
4. We will report back and share our experiences, and gather support from one another.
5. We will take control of our own futures; fate is not damning us. Our troubles are our own and we MUST overcome them.
6. We will become comfortable with this, and realize that it's OK to be rejected: we as humans still have a right to continue seeking companionship.
7. After we have a significant number of participants, we will set our 'start' date and see where we are a week hence. After the commencement, others are still welcome to join the pact and take on the challenge.
8. In reference to our goal, we will never...ever...say "I can't do it". Because yes, we can. And we will.
This may be a huge thing for some people. I know it is for me. In making a promise to others, and not just myself, I *have* to follow through. I have no choice but to approach two women because the rest of you will be counting on me just as I will be counting on you. But that's why we have to do it, I think. Others would laugh at us; but amongst ourselves, we have true support in our promise to each other.
I hearby swear to any who join me that I will approach two women within a week of our commencement. Who's with me? Who wants allies, and who is done being conquered by fear and loneliness?
You could set aside an hour in the chat room to discuss your adventure in all this. 
