Finding Life To Be a Very Exhausting One to Continue

[duality]

It seems that my life, as well as my family's life, is cursed to stay in this mediocre state in life. For as long as I can remember, my family's been struggling with financial problems. My parents just can't get that big break that we desperately need. Prices keep going up, but our income keeps getting lower.

My dad hasn't had a raise since he started in his current job; as a matter of fact, I believe he already lost his 401K. My mom lost her job and is getting unemployment, and it's way too low. My 2 sisters have jobs, thank goodness, but I don't. However, I do go to college full-time and I've been receiving financial aid, but that might change too. I might not be able to get it this time because I no longer meet a standard that they have in school in order for students to keep receiving financial aid refund, but that's still not 100% sure.

My mom keeps complaining about how our lives get nowhere. We're always in this "survival mode" where my parents constantly worry about how to pay bills, groceries, basic necessities, etc. My brother in our home country isn't doing any better, either. He has his own family to support, yet he can't find a job. Maybe this constant "broke" state runs in the family. Seeing everything going on in the world, it doesn't seem that our condition will change for the better.

Mind you, I'm a 24-year-old broke college student who still lives with his parents. I'm totally incapable of leaving home and being completely independent because I'm dead broke and doesn't have a full-time job. I've been going to the same community college for almost 5 years now. I haven't really accomplished anything in life yet. Hell, I don't even have an Associate's Degree yet. All these issues just keep piling up on top of each other that it's so hard to care about anything at all.

I know there are others who have it worse than me, but I'm just tired of this life that, to me, is increasingly becoming pointless. We're suffering all these problems, for what? Why should I even bother? Why bother doing the effort to make my life better? Is it going to matter in 100 years? Is it going to make this world a better place? What's the point? I'm just really tired of caring now.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I have to let it out and make other people see what I'm going through.

 

[Pheenix]

It seems that my life, as well as my family's life, is cursed to stay in this mediocre state in life.

Why you should care? Why should you care about anything. Because it can bring happiness and detract pain.

 

[duality]

It seems that my life, as well as my family's life, is cursed to stay in this mediocre state in life.

Why you should care? Why should you care about anything. Because it can bring happiness and detract pain.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand your statement correctly (maybe it's just me). Are you saying that I should care because it brings happiness and detracts pain?

 

[Pheenix]

Yes.

 

[Ak5]

What seems to be the cause of you not advancing? Is it loneliness or depression? You don't seem to mention about anything social in your post which makes me logically believe that your depressed because of your current situation. If so, then you shouldn't worry too much; your still here, you may be in survival mode, but you are still.. surviving.

Right now you have to focus on your studies, a degree is really important even today. And yes there are many financial problems in the world, its time we start learning Chinese.

 

[Sci-Fi]

A lot of people are in the exact same situation right now. I haven't had a raise at my job in seven years, my bosses excuse is the economy. Sure, things might be slower but when he can afford to go out and buy new toys or go on a 2 week vacation, I want to beat my head against the wall. In the past 7 years gas prices have gone up substantially, so have groceries and rent, but I'm expected to live on the same wage. Plus I've taken on much more responsibility at work, if not all of it since I'm the only full time employee and I only have 1 part time employee who's a high school student. WTF? My mom raised my brother and I on her own, she worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs to make ends meet. She's always tried to provide for us growing up, but once we were out of high school we had to start helping out. She's always worried about paying her bills, she scrimps and squeezes every penny to get more change. She has gone without just to make sure my brother and I we taken care of, and take us on trips. Now she doesn't worry about that as much since I live on my own and she's semi retired. Now things aren't so tight for her, she's been able to splurge a little, but that has taken her into her 60's to finally be able to do.

When you are raised in an environment like that it seems you continue on with that. My boss has always been well off, at least to me, his kids were spoiled, they've gone to good schools and his oldest son seems to be doing well. His status offered his kids opportunities some of us don't get, we have to settle. If we want more we have to work 4 times as hard to get it. My bosses daughter moved to England to go to school and his youngest son is on the other side of the country going to school.

The point I'm trying to make is that we are a product of our environment, I bet your grand parents had to do the same thing. My grandparents did, my grandfather worked very hard to provide for his family, he got lucky and was injured in army training and received benefits for that. He was a cheep old man, never spent a dime. He didn't really have money until all his 5 kids were grown up and on their own. My grandmother never had much, she worked part time, she was able to cover expenses but didn't have much when she passed away. All their kids have worked hard to have what they have. Most aren't that bad off now with the exception of one who seems to have it rough. So yeah, you might feel like you are stuck within the same cycle as your parents, but it what you also have. Like Ak5 said, you are still here, still surviving. It might not be what you want, but nothing comes easy. You want to change that then you are going to have to work even harder to achieve it.

 

[duality]

What seems to be the cause of you not advancing? Is it loneliness or depression? You don't seem to mention about anything social in your post which makes me logically believe that your depressed because of your current situation. If so, then you shouldn't worry too much; your still here, you may be in survival mode, but you are still.. surviving.

Right now you have to focus on your studies, a degree is really important even today. And yes there are many financial problems in the world, its time we start learning Chinese.

I think it's safe to say that my non-advancement in life is due to, well, horrible economy. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that aren't necessarily depressed or lonely, yet they have debts, are unemployed, and just plain broke. And you're right, I really should focus on my studies. I WANT to focus on my studies, but due to our never-ending financial problems, now I'm thinking that maybe I should get a full-time job first. If only I could go to school and not worry about anything else, then all would be good. But it's not the case.

And by the way, I don't really get why we have to learn Chinese. Is it because their economy pwns US economy?

A lot of people are in the exact same situation right now. I haven't had a raise at my job in seven years, my bosses excuse is the economy. Sure, things might be slower but when he can afford to go out and buy new toys or go on a 2 week vacation, I want to beat my head against the wall. In the past 7 years gas prices have gone up substantially, so have groceries and rent, but I'm expected to live on the same wage. Plus I've taken on much more responsibility at work, if not all of it since I'm the only full time employee and I only have 1 part time employee who's a high school student. WTF? My mom raised my brother and I on her own, she worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs to make ends meet. She's always tried to provide for us growing up, but once we were out of high school we had to start helping out. She's always worried about paying her bills, she scrimps and squeezes every penny to get more change. She has gone without just to make sure my brother and I we taken care of, and take us on trips. Now she doesn't worry about that as much since I live on my own and she's semi retired. Now things aren't so tight for her, she's been able to splurge a little, but that has taken her into her 60's to finally be able to do.

When you are raised in an environment like that it seems you continue on with that. My boss has always been well off, at least to me, his kids were spoiled, they've gone to good schools and his oldest son seems to be doing well. His status offered his kids opportunities some of us don't get, we have to settle. If we want more we have to work 4 times as hard to get it. My bosses daughter moved to England to go to school and his youngest son is on the other side of the country going to school.

The point I'm trying to make is that we are a product of our environment, I bet your grand parents had to do the same thing. My grandparents did, my grandfather worked very hard to provide for his family, he got lucky and was injured in army training and received benefits for that. He was a cheep old man, never spent a dime. He didn't really have money until all his 5 kids were grown up and on their own. My grandmother never had much, she worked part time, she was able to cover expenses but didn't have much when she passed away. All their kids have worked hard to have what they have. Most aren't that bad off now with the exception of one who seems to have it rough. So yeah, you might feel like you are stuck within the same cycle as your parents, but it what you also have. Like Ak5 said, you are still here, still surviving. It might not be what you want, but nothing comes easy. You want to change that then you are going to have to work even harder to achieve it.

Oh man, that really sucks. I know exactly how it's like to live like that. My parents are already in their 50s and they still have to work as hard as before. Also, I have to admit, I'm jealous of those people who always seem to have it good in life, but maybe they deserved it. Maybe at one point, they were also poor but worked really hard to get out of poverty, and now they're reaping what they sowed. But if that's the case, then I really want to know how they did it.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Oh man, that really sucks. I know exactly how it's like to live like that. My parents are already in their 50s and they still have to work as hard as before. Also, I have to admit, I'm jealous of those people who always seem to have it good in life, but maybe they deserved it. Maybe at one point, they were also poor but worked really hard to get out of poverty, and now they're reaping what they sowed. But if that's the case, then I really want to know how they did it.

Luck and ruthless disregard of personal health in the case of my parents; although they had the advantage of education. My parents went as low as $120 as their whole sum wealth, sitting behind a dumpster when my mother took the risk to buy some earrings and sell it.

My mother, as it turned out, had a gift for gab and her second language of Spanish managed to make them a profit. Somehow or another, they managed to get a significant stock of merchandise and despite working in a flea market, its amazing how high the profit margins can be for essentially inexpensive and gaudy jewelry when sold to an undiscriminating public of mostly lower income hispanic customers. A few well-placed bribes also allowed them the best location for their store.

They worked hard, though, unrelentingly. They averaged essentially 14-16 hours of work per day, six days a week, and compromised their health permanently - probably sacrificing a decade or more of their lifespan. They made it, though. And given their own disregard of their own health, they had even less regard for the lives of others and in a way, their intent devotion has passed onto me.

The world owe us nothing, not even kindness or life.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The economy is not the greatest at the moment. Its stressing a lot of family and people out.

Ive been effected by it for 4 years
since the housing market melt down.
It hasnt fulley recovered and
wont for a while. Well payng
jobs had been outsource.
I had the same job for 16 yrs prior.
I had to get less paying jobs...
More work less pay. Buching
from one job to there with no
benifts.

A lot of my freinds and family are effected by it. Some more than other.
Everyone is cutting back..
One of my friend hanvt been on a reguar
pay roll for almost 3 yrs..Hes doing
odd jobs or collecting umemployment.

Yeap..my gf and I spent almost
$500 on grogeriies wihtin the past
3 weeks for two people...its insane..

Dont be so hard on yourself.. Finish
your eduction.

 

[duality]

Thanks Lonesome. Personal question: is the girl in your picture your GF?

 

[Pheenix]

I think it's his daughter

 

[duality]

I think it's his daughter

Lol, I was just curious.