forgive the rude and the weak

[OhGodImLonely]

Hello guys, I hope you're all doing well.

I have made many complaints the past few days about how miserable my life was and how I wanted to die already.
You've all came up with ideas and advice so I could go through the pain with much less difficulty.
I appreciate your concern and it goes right through the heart. But I haven't appeared very appreciative of this, quite otherwise.
I may have appeared like the mummy's average spoiled child with my childish comments.
I didn't even hear half of what people were saying and it's because maybe of my lack of interaction with people and a life long experience with loneliness.

Anyways... I wanted to apologize for this and make sure everybody knows I have read their comments and I am very happy actually for not having been through this mental crisis "alone".
I know you don't really exist in my real life but at least I have found some people to "talk" to when needed and it feels good.

Thanks very much !

 

[Walley]

I didn't even hear half of what people were saying

i know what you mean there.. I get like that too when/if i get into certain moods. I can be like a stone and not soak in most of what people say until i'm over the peak.
have no worries though. you're in the right place

 

[OhGodImLonely]

I didn't even hear half of what people were saying

i know what you mean there.. I get like that too when/if i get into certain moods. I can be like a stone and not soak in most of what people say until i'm over the peak.
have no worries though. you're in the right place

Thanks very much dude.

Today I had to fill in some forms, mostly bank stuff and the renewal of my driving license. As I was walking into the streets I felt very anxious and paranoid. I don't know what was wrong but didnt feel good. People seem to scare me.
I had an appointment with my bank adviser to fix some details about my going abroad. The guy kept talking and couldn't stop and fixed me in the eyes insistently.
After an hour or so of this I told him I had to go because of another appointment that was in 10mn which wasn't true at all. And I left without even fixing what I was coming for in the first place.
I needed to catch some fresh air as I was having some acid reflux coming up my throat and smoke a cigarette to cool me down a bit.
**** I took the first bus and went home and wanted to stand up and scream and bang my head into the glass and fall down and be taken to a hospital and die there.
My legs were shaky and the only thing that could calm me down was the music I had on my ears, some heavy metal.
Now I'm at home and I want to be on another planet or somewhere else. It seems that there is no comfort anywhere for me in this world.

fresia fresia fresia fresia !

 

[Okiedokes]

Just know... that you aren't alone. Someone out there feels the same way you do even in your darkest moment. I don't know if that helps you at all.. but I think that the loneliness from anxiety/depression is the worst part..where you think no one understands you but a lot of people do, and would if they knew what was going on. If they don't, they just haven't lived it for themselves and cannot be blamed for that.

 

[BrokenInside]

We are here to support eachother coz the one thing we all have in common is "lonliness". Anyways glad to know that you abandoned the idea of committing suicide. Stay good

 

[OhGodImLonely]

We are here to support eachother coz the one thing we all have in common is "lonliness". Anyways glad to know that you abandoned the idea of committing suicide. Stay good

Thanks very much !

I know life is what it is. Stay on the line whether you be lonely or not. I'm drunk at the moment so I wouldn't be able to carry on but know that you have my affection sister !

 

[Lilianna]

Hello guys, I hope you're all doing well.

I have made many complaints the past few days about how miserable my life was and how I wanted to die already.
You've all came up with ideas and advice so I could go through the pain with much less difficulty.
I appreciate your concern and it goes right through the heart. But I haven't appeared very appreciative of this, quite otherwise.
I may have appeared like the mummy's average spoiled child with my childish comments.
I didn't even hear half of what people were saying and it's because maybe of my lack of interaction with people and a life long experience with loneliness.

Anyways... I wanted to apologize for this and make sure everybody knows I have read their comments and I am very happy actually for not having been through this mental crisis "alone".
I know you don't really exist in my real life but at least I have found some people to "talk" to when needed and it feels good.

Thanks very much !

So happy to not hear that you are not suicidal in your thinking anymore.

And I'm so glad to see a in your post and that you are happy.

This place has helped me so much, and I hope it continues to help you

(((OhGodImLonely))) <hugs for you

 

[SophiaGrace]

Please be well.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

Hey thank you guys !

Yesterday night I did some socializing ! I went to my neighbor's, brought some whisky and a dish that I cooked earlier on and the guy was having a little party in his house and let me in. We talked, drank, smoked, and eat. They liked the food very much !

The only minus was went I got home I threw up on the floor because of too much drinking too fast. But hey I'm here !

 

[Gurp]

OH my GOD imlonely -> THIS is for you.I have been wanting to give you truest thoughts on this.
Feel bad or not after this i dont know.First thing is i have seen a lot of people falsely writing that they are down just to have fun reading how others sympathize to your imaginary situation.
This is ok sometimes.But the more you write these things(that you want to suicide) whether faking or in reality , the worse it does to the mind and others bring you down more.May be this site wont bring you down cuz it is superficial but try this in reality.Tell any xyz guy that you want to die or bang your head in mirror , he will say things in empathy which might fu** your mind even more.
So follow this rule -> dont let people know about your misery way too much.Make it to a limit.

Second thing is -> It might be that compulsive addiction of some kind in which you were/or still taking refuge in is making you feel so paranoid and miserable.Uptill this time i have heard that compulsive masturbation is the worst.I have seen one case myself.Compulsive masturbation with pornography to be very exact.This is such a vortex of lust that it is almost impossible to deal with.It creates the mirage effect , the more you do the thirst becomes ever increasing.
Compulsive masturbation is said to be even more damaging to health of mind(on emotional level) than any other kind of addiction like alcohol.
Join a gym or something to release happy hormones or atleast feel brave again.
Personally i felt like you feel at time of my bad heart break by a bulgarian girl in 2009.
The only clot of anger left in me now is that ever ending requirement to know that she is in misery of any kind.I just want to know via fb or some other way that she is in utter misery.Just for one moment i want to hear that truth that my ex is in total misery of somekind.Then i will yawn with relief for one moment and take in air of absolute happiness.Till now no success though.

But anyway Whole of 2009 i used to feel ups and downs over and over again due to which i got so tired and picked up the dumbells in gym and tore up the entire gym.
These were my 2 cents.Try to get a grip brother.Dont dwell in this everyday.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

OH my GOD imlonely -> THIS is for you.I have been wanting to give you truest thoughts on this.
Feel bad or not after this i dont know.First thing is i have seen a lot of people falsely writing that they are down just to have fun reading how others sympathize to your imaginary situation.
This is ok sometimes.But the more you write these things(that you want to suicide) whether faking or in reality , the worse it does to the mind and others bring you down more.May be this site wont bring you down cuz it is superficial but try this in reality.Tell any xyz guy that you want to die or bang your head in mirror , he will say things in empathy which might fu** your mind even more.
So follow this rule -> dont let people know about your misery way too much.Make it to a limit.

Second thing is -> It might be that compulsive addiction of some kind in which you were/or still taking refuge in is making you feel so paranoid and miserable.Uptill this time i have heard that compulsive masturbation is the worst.I have seen one case myself.Compulsive masturbation with pornography to be very exact.This is such a vortex of lust that it is almost impossible to deal with.It creates the mirage effect , the more you do the thirst becomes ever increasing.
Compulsive masturbation is said to be even more damaging to health of mind(on emotional level) than any other kind of addiction like alcohol.
Join a gym or something to release happy hormones or atleast feel brave again.
Personally i felt like you feel at time of my bad heart break by a bulgarian girl in 2009.
The only clot of anger left in me now is that ever ending requirement to know that she is in misery of any kind.I just want to know via fb or some other way that she is in utter misery.Just for one moment i want to hear that truth that my ex is in total misery of somekind.Then i will yawn with relief for one moment and take in air of absolute happiness.Till now no success though.

But anyway Whole of 2009 i used to feel ups and downs over and over again due to which i got so tired and picked up the dumbells in gym and tore up the entire gym.
These were my 2 cents.Try to get a grip brother.Dont dwell in this everyday.

I know what you mean. I try not to show my misery to people but it is so obvious that they are going to talk to me about it anyway and I'll explain.

I agree on alcohol addiction except that I think I wouldn't drink that much if I had the proper environment.

As for masturbation I totally agree with you. Masturbation is bad. It kills self-confidence. And maybe it reduces someone's life span.

Thanks for the advice.

PS: coffee is very deadly. I try to cut down on this as well. but the thing is when you stay home and do nothing then you are very likely to watch pornography, drink coffee and alcohol, and smoke. it's a never ending vicious circle.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe you should go to AA meetings

 

[Lilianna]

Alcohol is a depressant, in the end it will make you feel worse. Go to a Doctor (easier said than done) and get a diagnosis, and the proper medication, if that is what they determine you need, you may have a mental illness.

And I agree, definitely go to AA.

So happy to hear you are getting out and socializing!

Wishing you all the best (((OhGodImLonely)))