Friend that wanted to hang out with you but you stayed away from

[beans]

Have you ever had people in your life who didn't mind hanging out with you but you drove them away or rather, you weren't interested in the friendship? I welcome most people into my lives but there was one particular friend who I felt uncomfortable with even though she isn't bad or anything like that.

No offence to anyone religious here, but this friend of mine, she suddenly became Christian in the middle of our friendship. And that's fine with me, I have nothing against that. Now, BEFORE she became Christian, she used to tell me everything that happens to her, good or bad, negative or positive. I guess I enjoyed that honesty and unfiltered conversations and things that we shared.

After becoming a Christian, she's far more careful with what she tells me to the point she didn't even tell me she quit her job or got a new job, etc when before we always used to discuss everything. It's almost as if she just talks about what's right or what's perfect. She'll also want to know what's going in my life but will speak none about hers.

Also, she instantaneously became a Jesus freak. She would tell me about her dreams of becoming a nun and she told me it was almost as if its an obsession. Yep, she said it herself. She also tells me what god said to her, what he told her, and that when her computer went bonkers, it was the best thing that happened and it must be god's doing, because during that time, all she did was spend time with him, etc etc.

I just feel like we didn't have much to talk about anymore, since I know she kind of 'turned over a new leaf' and she knows that I don't really enjoy listening to all the spiritual stuff and she does try to talk about other things, but it's so weird, because you can just feel she's itching to talk about it.


So what was your reason for moving away from a person that was your friend?

 

[edgecrusher]

thats most people for me. when i was in high school it was the people who did drugs or drank all the time. they wanted me to come hang out all the time but i didnt do it. i didnt like being around all that. and now its a similar thing. i think part of it is the area though. everyone wants to go to bars/clubs/parties all the time and get drunk or smoke weed. again, i dont want to be around all that. i dont get the obsession with alcohol and drugs that everyone seems to have. or with always wanting to go to social gatherings. its just not me.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yes.....

Heck I even have family members I stay away from or cutted out of my life becuase theyre either abusive or unhealthy.
So if I have to treat family members
as such, I dont feel too guilty if I cutted
certain people out of my life or have bondaries.
Some people thats firendly but still
exhabit what deem too wierd for me..
I just cant hang with them for too long.

Ive met plenty of people in my life time
Some poeple do weird stuff..man

At the same time...I know certain frineds dont hang with me for too long either..Cuz I do crazy stuff or unacceptible according to them.lol

One night..not long ago.. I had 4 babes in my car I barely met from a bar..We were all drunk and very roudie.
I was too drunk too drive so I let a friend drive..Well..honeysuckle, he parked my car in the middle of the street and ran like hell. HIs Gf interigated all week.lmao

one dude was a total drag all the time. All he wanted to do was hang in casino or btich about life. Same honeysuckle diferent days..so I stopped.hanging wiht him.

 

[beans]

thats most people for me. when i was in high school it was the people who did drugs or drank all the time. they wanted me to come hang out all the time but i didnt do it. i didnt like being around all that. and now its a similar thing. i think part of it is the area though. everyone wants to go to bars/clubs/parties all the time and get drunk or smoke weed. again, i dont want to be around all that. i dont get the obsession with alcohol and drugs that everyone seems to have. or with always wanting to go to social gatherings. its just not me.

I would try to move to another area.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

I had a friend in school that i picked on, in a friendly way, too much.
I hope he has a good life, he deserves it

 

[Lonesome Crow]

So..at the moment. Im not singlle
anymore. My Gf dosnt drink or do drugs.
I stopped drinking and partying.
I chose not the hang out with certain
people or live a different life style .

 

[Masson]

Yeah , actually most people that I've met I kinda lost the relationship with them. I still meet them from time to time , funny enough I even go to Christmas parties and what not with some of them but that's it. I lost some really good friends that even today I regret it , the bad part is I don't even know how I lost contact with them in the first place.
The most recent highlight is when I went camping 2 months ago and I met a girl from another camp , before I knew it I ended up sleeping in the same tent with her but after the whole camping thing everything went down hill , I avoided her for no reason so go figure how that ended.

 

[cookie]

Have you ever had people in your life who didn't mind hanging out with you but you drove them away or rather, you weren't interested in the friendship? I welcome most people into my lives but there was one particular friend who I felt uncomfortable with even though she isn't bad or anything like that.

No offence to anyone religious here, but this friend of mine, she suddenly became Christian in the middle of our friendship. And that's fine with me, I have nothing against that. Now, BEFORE she became Christian, she used to tell me everything that happens to her, good or bad, negative or positive. I guess I enjoyed that honesty and unfiltered conversations and things that we shared.

After becoming a Christian, she's far more careful with what she tells me to the point she didn't even tell me she quit her job or got a new job, etc when before we always used to discuss everything. It's almost as if she just talks about what's right or what's perfect. She'll also want to know what's going in my life but will speak none about hers.

To me it sounds she has (had) her own issues and has found a kind of emotional and personal security in this christian belief. Many people who have a lack of security and almost no love tend to find in religious groups what they've been missing. Since they advertise with social gatherings, a caring community and love. I used to be friends with some believers of different religions, who were really more into it all. But the friendship isn't the same anymore. One even tried to convince me of her religion so bad she lied to me and asked me to come to her church, for a gathering of people of different religions. After verbally getting attacked by some of her befriended believer-friends I found out it was a gathering about "how to christinize other people". D'oh. Since I did not show the intention to join them, I understood their frustration. Since that time I am not in touch with that girl anymore. But hey, it was an interesting experience. lol

Also, she instantaneously became a Jesus freak. She would tell me about her dreams of becoming a nun and she told me it was almost as if its an obsession. Yep, she said it herself. She also tells me what god said to her, what he told her, and that when her computer went bonkers, it was the best thing that happened and it must be god's doing, because during that time, all she did was spend time with him, etc etc.


I just feel like we didn't have much to talk about anymore, since I know she kind of 'turned over a new leaf' and she knows that I don't really enjoy listening to all the spiritual stuff and she does try to talk about other things, but it's so weird, because you can just feel she's itching to talk about it.


So what was your reason for moving away from a person that was your friend?

Maybe she thinks she needs to get her life together on her own (well in this case plus jesus). She might find her inner peace and strength in that religion for sure, but I can understand that you don't want to share it with her. I find it very hard and almost impossible to communicate with people who are so obsessed with an ideology I can't relate to. Have you asked her why she chose to live like this, what made her change like that? I mean it's obviously a huge change and when she still considers you as being her friend I guess she could answer you that question (I hope without preaching).


But I also don't see you guys sharing that close friendship again, since you both have two totally different views of life.....
Which doesn't mean all religious people are like that, but since she is obsessed, I think it's difficult.

 

[Luna]

Cookies made a very good post; people change. My mother drifted away from friend who recently found religion as well. The friend kept insisting that the tsunami in Japan was God's will and punishment...I'm not suggesting that all religious people think as such - but there are some that do think along these lines. :/

Umm...I've only really had one person interested in me as a "friend".

I think the problem was that because he was interested in me as more than friends - and because I was not - he became very aggressive towards me. I made it clear from the beginning that I had a BF, but my "friend" would encourage me to break up with my BF/ pimp himself out; scold me for not hugging him better (he pressured me)/ not touching him and trivial things like not liking the colour orange on men or visiting my family instead of him. I didn't like that he would put his body very close to mine even though I told him not to. When I was talking to him; often his eyes would be staring hard at my chest or crotch which made me uncomfortable as well.

When he first met up; he said he was lonely - I am too. But I just couldn't bear it anymore...being scolded each time I met up or how he'd gaze at my body and foam at the mouth. It honestly made me scared since I've been pushed, touched and pressured into sex when all I wanted was a friend.

Women vs Men - Only men seem to take any slight interest in me but if they do - it's always been just trying to sleep with me. I get FWB-zoned...I wish I could get Friend-zoned.

 

[beans]

Have you ever had people in your life who didn't mind hanging out with you but you drove them away or rather, you weren't interested in the friendship? I welcome most people into my lives but there was one particular friend who I felt uncomfortable with even though she isn't bad or anything like that.

No offence to anyone religious here, but this friend of mine, she suddenly became Christian in the middle of our friendship. And that's fine with me, I have nothing against that. Now, BEFORE she became Christian, she used to tell me everything that happens to her, good or bad, negative or positive. I guess I enjoyed that honesty and unfiltered conversations and things that we shared.

After becoming a Christian, she's far more careful with what she tells me to the point she didn't even tell me she quit her job or got a new job, etc when before we always used to discuss everything. It's almost as if she just talks about what's right or what's perfect. She'll also want to know what's going in my life but will speak none about hers.

To me it sounds she has (had) her own issues and has found a kind of emotional and personal security in this christian belief. Many people who have a lack of security and almost no love tend to find in religious groups what they've been missing. Since they advertise with social gatherings, a caring community and love. I used to be friends with some believers of different religions, who were really more into it all. But the friendship isn't the same anymore. One even tried to convince me of her religion so bad she lied to me and asked me to come to her church, for a gathering of people of different religions. After verbally getting attacked by some of her befriended believer-friends I found out it was a gathering about "how to christinize other people". D'oh. Since I did not show the intention to join them, I understood their frustration. Since that time I am not in touch with that girl anymore. But hey, it was an interesting experience. lol

Also, she instantaneously became a Jesus freak. She would tell me about her dreams of becoming a nun and she told me it was almost as if its an obsession. Yep, she said it herself. She also tells me what god said to her, what he told her, and that when her computer went bonkers, it was the best thing that happened and it must be god's doing, because during that time, all she did was spend time with him, etc etc.


I just feel like we didn't have much to talk about anymore, since I know she kind of 'turned over a new leaf' and she knows that I don't really enjoy listening to all the spiritual stuff and she does try to talk about other things, but it's so weird, because you can just feel she's itching to talk about it.


So what was your reason for moving away from a person that was your friend?

Maybe she thinks she needs to get her life together on her own (well in this case plus jesus). She might find her inner peace and strength in that religion for sure, but I can understand that you don't want to share it with her. I find it very hard and almost impossible to communicate with people who are so obsessed with an ideology I can't relate to. Have you asked her why she chose to live like this, what made her change like that? I mean it's obviously a huge change and when she still considers you as being her friend I guess she could answer you that question (I hope without preaching).


But I also don't see you guys sharing that close friendship again, since you both have two totally different views of life.....
Which doesn't mean all religious people are like that, but since she is obsessed, I think it's difficult.

Yes, although, I'll have to say, people in church (the young) tend to be more open to friendships than non-Christian groups. They seem more understanding if you tell them you are lonely and need friends. I guess its because they are founded on being caring towards one another. But of course there are some cold Christians as well. I know that if I wanted to have friends, all I need to do is find a church and join the working adult group or whatever it is. Easy peasy. But....I don't share their beliefs so why be there? And the problem is, if you don't believe in what they believe in, somehow they do treat you differently.

And yes, I think that's what's happening with my friend. Maybe she thinks I'm the devil now or whatever.

---

Women vs Men - Only men seem to take any slight interest in me but if they do - it's always been just trying to sleep with me. I get FWB-zoned...I wish I could get Friend-zoned.

LOL that's a new one: FWB-zoned. Yes, Luna, I have found that generally, when it comes to getting sex, some guys do get pretty aggressive. And unless a guy is older, mature and thinking of settling down, all there is to his mind is whose pants he can get into without strings attached sorry to say.

 

[louMcntire]

I've a kind of similar story to luna's. Had a friend who eventually developed stronger feelings towards me. But I just wasn't interested and handled it really badly...

At the time I'd just finished high school and I really wanted to distance myself from that horrible experience. She was aggressive about wanting more from me. And although we had a bunch of stuff in common. She was a really outgoing/generally very happy and excited person - while my mood was just down the drain after 5 years of horseshit. It didn't fit. She made me feel exhausted and eventually I had an outburst - I haven't seen or talked to her since. I think about it now and can't help but chastise myself for acting like a dumb ******* jerk. She wasn't someone who suddenly started stalking me through the streets, and she deserved none of what I told her.
And now I'll have to make excuses if ever I see her again.

(...)

 

[cookie]

Yes, although, I'll have to say, people in church (the young) tend to be more open to friendships than non-Christian groups. They seem more understanding if you tell them you are lonely and need friends. I guess its because they are founded on being caring towards one another. But of course there are some cold Christians as well. I know that if I wanted to have friends, all I need to do is find a church and join the working adult group or whatever it is. Easy peasy. But....I don't share their beliefs so why be there? And the problem is, if you don't believe in what they believe in, somehow they do treat you differently.

I think you got me totally wrong. I didn't say you should go to church, too. I was just trying to show you what might have been her reasons to join the church. Since you said she is your friend, I expected you to remember her fears and wishes about life so you could possibly understand. Also I thought she was a close friend to you, so from what you have answered me it doesn't sound like you really care about her as a person. I am sorry to say that. I would try to have such a talk, since this is what friendship is about, isn't it?! I mean you don't have to become like her but at least you both could have a frank senseful and respectful talk with each other. You both would possibly come to the conclusion that your lives are to different now and wish each other good luck. That's it. At least you can try.

And yes, I think that's what's happening with my friend. Maybe she thinks I'm the devil now or whatever.

If she really thought you're the devil she wouldn't ask you to hang out with her or do some stuff. Maybe she still cares about you as her friend even though she is trying to convince you about her thoughts, but still it's her new sense of life and of course she is trying to tell you about that. As I said, don't avoid talking to her, if it is really bothering you that she has changed and so your friendship you shouldn't just end it like this. Just my two cents.

 

[beans]

Yes, although, I'll have to say, people in church (the young) tend to be more open to friendships than non-Christian groups. They seem more understanding if you tell them you are lonely and need friends. I guess its because they are founded on being caring towards one another. But of course there are some cold Christians as well. I know that if I wanted to have friends, all I need to do is find a church and join the working adult group or whatever it is. Easy peasy. But....I don't share their beliefs so why be there? And the problem is, if you don't believe in what they believe in, somehow they do treat you differently.

I think you got me totally wrong. I didn't say you should go to church, too. I was just trying to show you what might have been her reasons to join the church. Since you said she is your friend, I expected you to remember her fears and wishes about life so you could possibly understand. Also I thought she was a close friend to you, so from what you have answered me it doesn't sound like you really care about her as a person. I am sorry to say that. I would try to have such a talk, since this is what friendship is about, isn't it?! I mean you don't have to become like her but at least you both could have a frank senseful and respectful talk with each other. You both would possibly come to the conclusion that your lives are to different now and wish each other good luck. That's it. At least you can try.

And yes, I think that's what's happening with my friend. Maybe she thinks I'm the devil now or whatever.

If she really thought you're the devil she wouldn't ask you to hang out with her or do some stuff. Maybe she still cares about you as her friend even though she is trying to convince you about her thoughts, but still it's her new sense of life and of course she is trying to tell you about that. As I said, don't avoid talking to her, if it is really bothering you that she has changed and so your friendship you shouldn't just end it like this. Just my two cents.

Yes, recently we did exchange a few texts and that is good. I'm happy for her ... as long as she is happy and well.

 

[SofiasMami]

Oh, I've broken up with a few friends over the years. One friend just treated me badly and I thought it was her personality. I still think it was her personality because she treated everyone else bad too. But I got fed up with it and stopped returning her calls and that was the end of it. She lived and still lives about 3 blocks from me but I haven't talked to her in about 8 years.
Another friend I met after my daughter was born. I thought we had a lot in common but I always feel the life has been sucked out of me after I talk to her. It's like she's always on the lookout for what she can get from other people. Definitely not my type. She's a single parent too and has no problem talking smack about her child's dad in front of her child which I totally disagree with and I don't do with my own daughter. So I don't call her or make any effort to see her.

Teresa