Getting (and functioning at) a job when you're like us

[An archist]

Alright, I'm 22 and my time at the university is almost over. What's freaking me out is that, even though I've had a miserable time functioning in the school environment, school is probably the best place to make friends and get away with poor socialization skills (so long as you pay your tuition, they're not likely to boot you out of school for anything short of chasing your classmates around with a battle axe!). In the work place though, I've got a feeling that my poor social skills will be much more aparent. Firstly, in all the job ads I've seen, they're always looking for "good communication and interpersonal skills"...these terms are a bit vague, but inspite of that, I'm positive that I don't got em! Secondly, I think it would be pretty hard to cover up the fact that you're a social retard at work if you really have difficulties functioning around others--this semester I dropped a physicis class I was taking for the sole reason that I couldn't do any work in the physics lab where I had to work with a lab partner. Some people with better social skills than myself, could probably cover up the shitty work they do with a bit of smooth talking, but I doubt I could do that.
So, what kind of jobs do you know of out there where you don't really have to deal with people all that much and can basically work in islolation? If you're worried about these things as well, please post some of your reflections on the matter, because feedback from any source would be as valuable as gold for me at this point!

 

[Antihero]

As someone who has recently graduated college, be afraid, be very afraid.

Seriously though, I'm likely in the mess I am because I am just too apathetic and lazy now and in the past, when I should have sucked it up and picked a real major and not something I thought was cool. I'm only speaking for myself here.

The type of job you could get is wholly dependent on what your major is. If it is something specific or technical, like engineering or computer science, you will likely land something decent. However it is a liberal arts or a vague business major and you're a pronounced introvert like me then refer back to the first sentence of this reply.

 

[Satyr]

So, what kind of jobs do you know of out there where you don't really have to deal with people all that much and can basically work in islolation? If you're worried about these things as well, please post some of your reflections on the matter, because feedback from any source would be as valuable as gold for me at this point!

I wouldn't reccomend trying to find a job that isolates you from people. While it's nice not having anyone to answer to most of the time, it's also impossible to make new friends or even engage in idle chit-chat.

I spend eight hours a day in a tiny room building and fixing computers. I maybe talk to one or two people during that time, and that's only on a good day.

I would suggest not putting yourself in the same situation I did, or you'll end up making your social anxiety even worse.

 

[Minus]

I wouldn't reccomend trying to find a job that isolates you from people. While it's nice not having anyone to answer to most of the time, it's also impossible to make new friends or even engage in idle chit-chat.

I have to agree with Satyr. My total contact at work is saying "Hi" to the security guard as i walk in to work and again as i leave. It does have it's good points but it becomes totally isolating. It was great to begin with because at that time i had something resembling a family life and a vague social life but that was another age. These days, well the "Hi" and "Bye" to the security guard was the only direct human contact that i have had in the last 24 hours.

While i have no social skills at all i am actually missing not having the chance to remind myself of that fact.

 

[investor]

You can be an accountant; That's what I;m studying and it is a recession proof job as long as you get good grades. They also look for shy guys like us. Shy guys are known to be accountants. If you get a masters and pass the cpa exam you could make 60k your first year in nyc.

 

[Caesium]

Lighthouse keeper. ^__^


I'm not sure what I'll do. I actually like the sound of what Satyr is doing, spending all my time just working on computers and getting paid for it. Maybe I could be a network administrator, living in a small server room in the dark depths of a huge office building, just fading into the background.

 

[Brian]

You could always have my job clearing brush, you have earplugs in most of the day and it's too loud to talk to eachother because of the chipper and chainsaws

Actually, I had a lot of the fears you do when I first entered the workforce. I was also pretty shy. But when it came down to it, I discovered it was an excellent opportunity to help me change a lot of my base issues of simply interacting with other people.

You're working the same job they are, and chances are you have some interests in common. That's what I learned. So really, I wouldn't advise trying to dance around your problem and settle for a job. I would suggest trying to find a job you -want-, and then just slowly try and crack your problems. The people I call friends now knew me when I was a socially crippled, quiet, shy person. They watched me work through my problems (and were a -huge- part of the fix, simply by being there), and now we all laugh -together- at how timid I used to be.

I can also concur with what Minus is saying. My first job was working at a lumber mill: Standing in the same spot, doing the same thing, all day. Talked to my coworkers for maybe 30 minutes out of my 8 or 10 hour day. And while I thought I wouldn't mind that at first, it turned in to one of the reasons I quit after a month.

 

[pete2k8]

I know what you mean mate, I skipped a whole module of my course at Uni because I felt uncomfortable working with the people in that particular class and because there were two assesed presentations (I avoid anything involving public speaking like the plague!) Skipping it meant I could do all the coursework on my own during the summer and just do the presentation with the tutor in the room, which kinda messed up my summer because I had to go into uni on my birthday of all days to finish it all and hand it in! :-(


The "good interpersonal and communications" stuff in job ads tends to get on my nerves as well. They really should try to make the effort to be more accommodating were more introverted people are concerned! You're near enough fresh out of college so you know your stuff and know you're more than capable of contributing to a company.

I've tried to narrow the gap in my CV (and get the hang of these "interpersonal and communications" thingy's) by doing voluntary work. The people in the place I'm working in now are very understanding (they know how uncomfortable I am around large groups of people) and they don't mind me taking on roles which either involve large or small groups of people (I'm currently working in the printing office and with one other person) depending on how confident I feel to handle it.

Sorry to sound like a recruiting ad but have you considered doing a couple of hours voluntary work yourself? It's helped me quite a bit with my confidence.

Hope this helps,

Peter

 

[NakitaKita]

Yeah once i got outta school I tried to communicate with my fellow medical billers. However everytime I made a joke by email or tried to start up a conversation it would always end or begin awkward. My social skills totally sucked and still to this day they look at me odd like, but don't let it bother you though you'll be able to pick up a conversation with one person and they may bring you to apoint that your talking to the people they know and so on and so on. Actually come to think about it thats what happen at my last job I sat at lunch by myself and this one girl who loves to talk with just anyone started talking to me asking me questions and just rolling with the convo every day i would open up just alittle more (when i found out we had the same views) we became like the best friends and I started talking to everyone she knew and then she left and it kinda feel apart ... anyways don't mind me i'm in another mind set... just have faith i guess its the only real thing someone can have...

 

[Satyr]

I'm not sure what I'll do. I actually like the sound of what Satyr is doing, spending all my time just working on computers and getting paid for it. Maybe I could be a network administrator, living in a small server room in the dark depths of a huge office building, just fading into the background.

I suppose you should do what you think is best.

Far be it from me to stop someone from creating their own personal Hell.

 

[Unacceptance]

Grave Digger, that's what I'm aiming for.

 

[Satyr]

Grave Digger, that's what I'm aiming for.

That might not be too bad. Get outside for awhile, get some fresh air. Meet some new and interesting people...put them into a hole.

good times, good times...

 

[eviloreo]

i orginally went to college to train to be a pilot, wasnt for me and "took a break" ( /cough-dropped out) of the program and went career hunting. Took me a year but after much thinking i decided that aiming for a job in law enforcement was perfect for me.

I went back to school and now i have one more quarter left before i finish a AA degree in criminal justice. I do plan to get a BA in it but i want the state to pay for it. Im sure that someone that completed core classes/basic req at the university level can complete a criminal justice degree in under 4 quarters.

Anyways i figured a cop job is perfect because the job in itself is already made for isolated people, cops are generally a part of society that the rest of society is uncomfortable being around with, and since im already a loner in life i can deal with that no problem. Not to mention from cops ive talked to, cops are generally close to other cops, mind you this is a generalization.

There is basically no requirement for officers to give any sort of "customer service," and much of the work is based on your set pace.

The job itself is not very dangerious and the majority of the work if you choose to is on your own by yourself driving around all day or night and maybe once every other year (in washington state-Seattle) your called into something potentially dangerious. Or if your really that lonely you can request to be assigned with a partner and do street patrols in the city itself.

The requirements across the country arent very high to be a cop but they are strict, you have to 20-35 to apply, have no felonys (no time in jail longer then a year), no drug use (you could use pot within the last 5 years of app) and have a good moral standing, not to mention basic stuff like being able to hold a job, a pref of not using alchohol or smoking, no criminal req. etc. etc.

The downside to being a cop however is a high suicide rate : / as well as divorce rate : / compared to other jobs, i guess what im saying is if you have a high tolerance to being alone and working solo a cop job might be for you.

If an officer job is not what your interested in there is also other things within law enforcement (which usually require 2 years of patrol duty to apply) like DEA, FBI, CIA, CI (criminal investigation) etc. etc. Im personally intersted in border patrol (USA-Canda) with homeland security because i can speak English and Mandarian/Cantonese. hope this helps