I Hate When People Say...

[Unsigned]

Hello all.
Here is a thread to vent out things people may say or have said to you.
It could be general well known expressions, or something specific and personal.

I'll start.

I hate when people say "Life was not meant to be fair".

Well duh!!!
Yeah, our lives are not governed by some global fairness board who ensures that people get their just rewards.
We all know this.
But when you put in the work, do what you were told, are relatively successful, but you still don't get even a modicum of what you see others get, it is GROSSLY unfair. Make that observation, and venting about it from time to time is not whining. It is a legitimate gripe.
Yeah...I know life is not fair. And my gripe is proof that it is isn't. So don't tell me something I already know.

And now for the venting part.

For the record, yes, my gripe is that I did everything I was told by parent/teachers/nuns/priests/grandmas/aunts/uncles, worked hard, made a decent living, but did not achieve anywhere near what is considered the American dream - a wife and family. I've been ignored by females my entire life. Had to use hookers and booze when all the other guys in college were dating pretty girls. And I had to do the same in my 20s when those same guys were getting engaged. And in my 30s when they were buying houses and having kids. And in my 40s when they were buying boats and winter homes in Florida. And now in my 50s as their kids are getting married and they are retiring early, going on cruises and looking forward to grandkids. So yeah. Life is not fair. Shut your trap about it. I already know. I'm living proof.

Venting over. Time to do pushups...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I hate when people say you’ve done something wrong but wont tell you what you could have done differently

 

[okidoke]

Three instantly come to mind

1) "Think positively" because, y'know, all the negative stuff only happens when you think negatively.

2) "Everything happens for a reason" sure does, particularly if the reason is to just piss me off.

3) "It'll all work out in the end" because death is obviously the solver of everything, right?

 

[randomguy]

People telling me " you're so lucky" as if my life happened on accident.

Behind all my “luck” was hours of hard work. Behind the hard work was an insatiable fear that I’ll be stuck in my hometown and never see the world and never really live. All while my friends got their careers and trophy wives and stayed at home and chose a comfortable life.

I have had help along the way. I know my privileges but don't you dare say I got lucky that demeans the struggles I had and still have on a daily basis.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

People telling me " you're so lucky" as if my life happened on accident.

Behind all my “luck” was hours of hard work. Behind the hard work was an insatiable fear that I’ll be stuck in my hometown and never see the world and never really live. All while my friends got their careers and trophy wives and stayed at home and chose a comfortable life.

I have had help along the way. I know my privileges but don't you dare say I got lucky that demeans the struggles I had and still have on a daily basis.

Omg I feel like this with exam results!

 

[Unsigned]

People telling me " you're so lucky" as if my life happened on accident.

Behind all my “luck” was hours of hard work. Behind the hard work was an insatiable fear that I’ll be stuck in my hometown and never see the world and never really live. All while my friends got their careers and trophy wives and stayed at home and chose a comfortable life.

I have had help along the way. I know my privileges but don't you dare say I got lucky that demeans the struggles I had and still have on a daily basis.

I've heard "you're lucky" and "be grateful" as well. Most of the people who've told me that can go suck lemons..

 

[Walnut]

I used to have a therapist tell me “there is always someone worse”. Fantastic! All my problems are solved now. I guess there must be only person on the planet requiring therapy. I’d hate to be them.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Meow

 

[TheSkaFish]

Anything along the lines of "freedom" - "you're free", "it's a free country", etc.

Technically yes, you're "free".

But if you want to have an at least normal quality of life, then there are only certain careers and interests that will lead to it and you'd better be able to do them or else it's not going to happen.

And if you want to have a romantic relationship, and you're a straight man, then there are only certain personalities that are considered desirable, and you'd better be able to find some way to be those or else it's not going to work.

Also, there are only certain interests that will make you interesting. You have to have skilled interests, much like you have to have skilled work. If your only interests are passive relaxing interests - TV/movies, listening to music, just being a fan of things, video gaming most of the time, or for that matter drinking and getting high - you probably won't be able to impress or interest anyone, and therefore will struggle to attract anyone for a romantic relationship.

The typical "geek"/"nerd" life is wrong for attraction. You can like that stuff if you want, that's fine, but you have to get good at doing something yourself - NOT just being a fan of what someone else is doing. You can't impress or interest someone just by liking things made by someone else. Liking things/having tastes, is not a skill or personality.

Most of the "freedom" we supposedly have, is really just the freedom to do things that are wrong for an at least normal life, let alone a successful one, and if this "freedom" leads to nothing good, then it's meaningless.

I wish growing up that instead of being told I was "free", I would have been told in clear explicit terms that if you want certain things out of life, like an at least normal quality of life, or a romantic relationship, then you are NOT free, you MUST go into certain careers, and you MUST have certain personality traits, and it doesn't matter what your real interests or personality traits are, because those don't get to matter - you HAVE to do what is correct for what you want, period end of story. There's no thinking, nothing to think about. If you don't want your life to suck, you MUST do things the right way, that's it.

In a similar vein, another thing I've always hated is being told how great society is. Again, I wish I'd been told the opposite - that society sucks, and that's exactly why you have to do your best - because the world is NOT advanced, NOT civilized, NOT that great, and isn't going to be for a long time, if ever. So again, if you don't want life to suck, you MUST perform, you MUST achieve, there is no option to opt out.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Another is "money isn't everything".

It's a favorite of a few types of people:

1.) the kind of person that already has money, like some kind of celebrity, and is quite happy and out of touch with reality, but has the nerve to tell YOU that you should be happy without it

2.) the kind of person who doesn't have money, and doesn't care about anything, doesn't care what happens to them or what they get out of life, and has given up on life

It has to be one of the most tone-deaf, idiotic phrases of all time. I've always found it to be complete bullsh*t.

Dishonorable mention:

"Life is what you make it"

Bullsh*t. Good and bad exists, you can't just decide to be happy in a sh*tty life. You can't just decide a bad life is good. That's just lying to yourself, or giving up on life.

"Just be yourself!"

A half-truth at best. "Just be yourself" only works when "yourself" just so happens to be correct for what you want. Half-truths are annoying because they're incomplete, they leave out key information that you need to make choices that actually line up with what you want out of life. See above post about "freedom".

"There are no wrong answers"

Same as "just be yourself" and "freedom". There are definitely right and wrong answers, definitely things that work and things that don't. Saying there are no wrong answers just fills people's heads with nonsense.

"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life"

Nope wrong again, only certain careers pay anything, so if you want to live a normal quality of life as opposed to a life of powerlessness, misery, and dysfunction, then DON'T do what you love, do what you are mentally capable of doing that pays, and pray you don't need booze or drugs to tolerate it. Then try like hell to get good enough at something cool outside of work, or else you won't be able to attract someone because you're boring.

 

[Adamridge79]

'That's fair. Or just fair' I hear this from these children at work so much. No, it's not fair. It's 'true' or, 'I see that' or 'understandable...

 

[user 150037]

I've had someone say 'Cheer up. It might never happen'. What does that even mean?!

Me in my head: *Will I ever know romance?*
Stranger: "Cheer up, it might never happen"

 

[Adamridge79]

Well, it might happen, possibly?

 

[user 150037]

Meh lol

Well, it might happen, possibly?

.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

"It is what it is". Okay, but why?

 

[Unsigned]

When I was a little kid I HATED this one.

"See? God punished you" (when you hurt yourself, like banged your head or something)

Um...no. God did not punish me. YOU just took joy in my pain, you cow!


EDIT:
Yes, it was my mother who used to say this.

 

[TheRealCallie]

"Can I ask you a question"


NO, go away, no questions allowed. Seriously, don't ask permission to ask, just ask....

 

[Cherubino]

"Love yourself" ... I'm so tired of myself but I agree to not hate myself

"Love your neighbor" ... actually that would embarrass them since they despise me

"Love your enemies" ... sure but that is not a clearing of payment for what they did

 

[user 150037]

Why do your neighbors despise you?

I hate it when people say 'Calm down'. Hey, if I'm having a panic attack, and have anxiety hormones flooding through my bloodstream, you really think that you saying 'calm down' is going to do it?

Nobody has ever said to me 'Remember to breathe' but that's another one. Duh! 'Oho, he's going purple. He forgot to breathe again...'.

 

[Cherubino]

Why do your neighbors despise you?

besides the innate loathing toward what is new or different found in every culture ... in the rural conservative culture where I live it is a great shame not to be married or at least to be known as not having sex ... also my autistic nature with very low social and material needs (lack of ambition and conformism) viewed as dumbness