Hello,
I've never really posted, but I've been lurking. I thought I would make my introduction post also a statement of intent.
I'm 26, haven't had a true friend in over a decade, haven't had a girlfriend ever. Never been kissed. You've heard this story. I've been struggling with some social phobias and a strong fear of rejection. It's been pretty miserable, but I feel like I'm starting to get my life back on track.
Recently, I had an experience that helped put things in perspective.
I thought I made a good friend a few months ago. Being kind of a pushover and a "nice guy", I helped her out with a lot of stuff in a lame attempt to win her over as my friend. She was kind to me, but she ended up leaving the country. I've tried to keep in touch, but you know that thing about "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - well that was true for me, but not for her. I haven't talked to her in weeks. I'm pretty sure she has basically forgotten about me, and moved on. Her last email was essentially a polite way of saying "just forget about me." The separation has been extremely painful for me. In retrospect, I feel like the only reason she was friends with me was to use me.
Regardless, I'm glad I met her. Meeting her and the pain it caused has made me realize the emptiness in my own life. I need friends. I need a girlfriend. I realize the importance of these things now. I'm willing to fight for them.
I'm not going to let this or anything else defeat me. I hope you feel the same way.
I'm planning on heading over to a local bar for New Year's. I've never done this before. I'll be alone, and I'm scared as hell, but I'm going to do it one way or another. If I can make it through the entire night without getting scared/uncomfortable and running away, I'll consider the night a success.
Wish me luck... hopefully, I'll come back with some good news...
I've never really posted, but I've been lurking. I thought I would make my introduction post also a statement of intent.
I'm 26, haven't had a true friend in over a decade, haven't had a girlfriend ever. Never been kissed. You've heard this story. I've been struggling with some social phobias and a strong fear of rejection. It's been pretty miserable, but I feel like I'm starting to get my life back on track.
Recently, I had an experience that helped put things in perspective.
I thought I made a good friend a few months ago. Being kind of a pushover and a "nice guy", I helped her out with a lot of stuff in a lame attempt to win her over as my friend. She was kind to me, but she ended up leaving the country. I've tried to keep in touch, but you know that thing about "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - well that was true for me, but not for her. I haven't talked to her in weeks. I'm pretty sure she has basically forgotten about me, and moved on. Her last email was essentially a polite way of saying "just forget about me." The separation has been extremely painful for me. In retrospect, I feel like the only reason she was friends with me was to use me.
Regardless, I'm glad I met her. Meeting her and the pain it caused has made me realize the emptiness in my own life. I need friends. I need a girlfriend. I realize the importance of these things now. I'm willing to fight for them.
I'm not going to let this or anything else defeat me. I hope you feel the same way.
I'm planning on heading over to a local bar for New Year's. I've never done this before. I'll be alone, and I'm scared as hell, but I'm going to do it one way or another. If I can make it through the entire night without getting scared/uncomfortable and running away, I'll consider the night a success.
Wish me luck... hopefully, I'll come back with some good news...
