Going to nowhere special alone

[TheRealCallie]

And that's how one gets on the path of alcoholism, if one isn't careful....

So true. That's why someone like me does not drink. I don't need one more problem.

Well, I was talking about getting *a* drink when out at a bar, i.e. occasionally (I suggested bar hopping, remember ?), not drinking bottles at home everyday.

No need to put words in my mouth  

Not putting words in your mouth at all.  It's extremely easy to become an alcoholic when someone realizes "oh hey, I'm more outgoing when I drink" because they might start to want to drink ALL the time so they never have problems again. 

I'm not saying everyone will become an alcoholic.  Maybe not even a large number of people, hell many only one person will, but I've seen the damages done by alcoholism, so if I can step in and try to prevent even one person from going down that path, I will, because that will ruin your life faster than shyness ever will.  

Although, I will point out that you don't have to drink bottles at home alone every day to be an alcoholic.  You don't even have to drink every day to be an alcoholic.  That's not exactly how it works, but it is a common misconception.

 

[Restless soul]

Recently taking the train in nyc. Where I live. I haven't taken the subway for years. And I think I know why. All related to this threada topic. I sadly had nowhere to go. Meet. And taking things like the subway was a journey pf lonliness I jusy cluldnt take. Especially now I took the subway yesterday. Not an easy task. Might make a new thread about living in nyc. How the lonliness is palpable. Depending on your mental state

I understand. LA is kind of like that too. Big city, everyone is anonymous, no one really cares.

What about traveling outside NYC ? What about bar hopping ? Do you drink ? Play the idiot card ... "Hey, it's my first time here. Have you lived here long ? Where can I find good live music ?" and if they reply with, "Why don't you just look it up online ?", tell them what I would ... "I'm not interested in online research. I want to hear it from someone who's actually been there."

I've heard that NYC bars are crazy crowded ... not good for socializing. I think you want more of a mellow atmosphere where people actually see individual faces and hear individual voices.

Recently, I went to Portland, OR, and I had a blast just taking public transit or walking around downtown, eating at restaurants, going from one bar to the next, till 3 am. Talking to random people. One example - At a live music show, I saw a couple dancing behind me. I stumbled over to them and suggested, in a nice/funny way, that they could really use a dance floor ... then I told them that they're very elegant in their dance. And they were happy to talk to me for a few minutes. It's the small talk that gets things started. And trust me, practice does help ! Really does !

Alcohol does help when you're shy to begin with.

Hi, Just saw your reply to my post now. Don't get notifications.  Anyway, about your suggestion with bars, that was one of the places I used to go alone a couple of years ago, but not to drink.  To shoot pool. 
Never met anyone, and that got tired real fast. So that was the end of that