Th eRealCallie said:
lol, okay let's go with this?
Why did I choose to be lonely (I'm not anymore, btw). Well, that would be because I allowed myself to believe I was a worthless piece of honeysuckle just like my abusive ex told me I was. I allowed him to beat me down until I was nothing. I allowed him to take away every sense of myself. I allowed him to make me believe that I had to be a certain way, act a certain way. I allowed myself to believe him every time he told me no one else would ever want me. It was my CHOICE to allow myself to believe those things. It was my CHOICE to stay with him for as long as I did. It was my CHOICE to stay until he left me on Christmas night. And then it was my CHOICE to try every **** thing I could to get him back because I allowed myself to believe everything he every said about me. It was also my choice to say no when a few years later he tried to come back to me. And then again the following year when he tried again.
Now, mind you, that may not seem like a choice to those going through abuse, but hindsight reveals a lot of honeysuckle you don't even consider when you are going through it. Even if you don't have any good options, there is nearly always a choice in life. As for the millionaire part of it, I would likely be a hell of a lot closer than I am now if I hadn't gotten married. If I would have went to law school like I had intended. I was even enrolled before I dropped out to get married. Guess what? You guessed it...another choice. However, I never wanted to be a millionaire. I don't want to be one. Money can't buy you happiness. I have myself back, I have my kids and I wouldn't change anything about my life, because while I've gone through what I've said and more, it made me into the strong person I am today.
As for the generalizing part. I didn't generalize YOU, I generalized MY ADVICE. And I do believe I did ask questions. I also believe you ignored said questions.
My rudeness? Just because you don't like what I say doesn't make me rude. And no, I won't apologize for giving my advice. You asked for advice. Did you honestly expect to only hear what you wanted to?
Ok, so you allowed your ex to dictate your life.. how was your childhood growing up though?
Just because you managed to overcome something doesn't make you a professor on other people's problems so stop acting like a snob.
I am giving you self awareness on how you appear from the side, it is of course YOUR CHOICE to keep looking like an *******.
There is a BIG difference between an ex abusing your self esteem in adulthood and your self esteem abused when you're a child.
You definitely hasn't been in my shoes though and I bet if you would be you may even deal worse than I have been doing.
Just because you passed some hardship with your ex, doesn't give you the right to go around and minimize other's problems.
I have myself back, I have my kids and I wouldn't change anything about my life, because while I've gone through what I've said and more, it made me into the strong person I am today.
There is pain that makes you stronger and there is pain that is just plain suffering. Sure choice matter with how you treat it and how you decide to see it, but it really really depends on the situation. Some people are unfortunate enough their own choice isn't enough, it just isn't. There is situation where the brain faces internal damages due to improper development which makes functioning in life harder. You make a choice, doesn't mean a broken brain may follow, it may even resist. Because it's broken and it's as real disease as cancer, dementia.. why don't you go criticize people with dementia... ah? That's considered too rude. But contempting and shitting on people with mental issues is SO SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE you don't think twice, maybe you also do it because it makes you feel superior so you feel less associated with the lonely losers. Because that's what normies do.
Like there were times I didn't have a choice, I didn't chose to be born to my parents and don't accuse me as a child that I had much "choice" to not believe the brainwashing abusive honeysuckle they wanted me to believe. I tried to exert my choice being disobedient but that was far from enough!
You don't know me, I exerted a lot of choice I could to
remain myself and somehow maintain my freedom, you barely know the tip of the iceberg about me.
As for the generalizing part. I didn't generalize YOU, I generalized MY ADVICE.
That's BECAUSE you generalized my story. And you wrote everything so confidently in reaction to it. Like a person who wrote comment for the sake of likes but forgot they are on a site without such system.
Do you know how much I heard the same stuff over and over from people who don't understand?
And I bet people with deep issues heard so over and over too most of them, there is a reason this cookiecut advice doesn't work!
And just because your advice is whack then it's time to BLAME us for being too retarded to make our lives better with your advice. Wow.
My rudeness? Just because you don't like what I say doesn't make me rude.
Didn't you know it is considered rude to simplify and act like a snob towards people with mental issues on levels you don't understand?
FYI people with mental issues don't like their issues simplified in their face and cookiecut advice thrown at them, it's not that they are 15 and might be first time hearing it so they obviously have tried these coping ways, use common sense.
IT IS considered rude to go talk like that to a person with confirmed and seen physical disease
BUT IT IS NOT considered rude at all to simplify mental issues of people and make them know over and over its all their fault.
No, this IS rude. And work on your self awareness.
Why did I choose to be lonely (I'm not anymore, btw).
If you are no more lonely what are you doing on this site? Because you don't know how to communicate generally, I can already see few people disliking your style, some of them wrote me in private I won't name.
It feels like you don't really give a f about helping but making yourself look superior, seeking for attention and just plain throw cookiecut advice and shallow accusations with a tone attached to it like other person is some immature moron, just because they can't be as magnificent as you are and magically solve things with merely "choice". It only still proves your life wasn't that hard. I wish basic ex abuse and some loneliness were my only problems, and I can tell you I will be as strong with my will to take control over my life with just "choice".
P.S.
And first of all this is a thread about sleep issues, do you honestly even know what it is the problem I described? I don't talk about lite version of it but the very version of it. From how you sound you don't know mostly, but you try to defend somekind of reputation of yours now. lol.
ringwood said:
I think a lot of people get angry with Callie because she cuts to the chase and offers sensible, useful advice - a lot of people don’t want to hear the truth. They want platitudes and ‘Oh, poor you...’
Another generalizer,
welcome.