Had a bad day.

[heretostay]

Last Wednesday was my last day of the semester. i was excited that it was the last day and i wanted to celebrate, but had no one to celebrate with. as i left my class a bunch of people were standing outside talking about how excited they were and what should they all go do, etc.

so i called my husband. i told him i was really excited it was my last day and i asked him if he wanted to go to a movie with me when he got off work. he said no. he was going to play racketball with his coworkers and hed be home around 8pm.

so i went from being really excited to crying the rest of the day. do you think its weird when you cry all alone and no one knows you did? i think its kind of strange. It was a hard day. it still makes me cry thinking about how i got turned down by my own husband.

I feel powerless to make friends. i thought i made a friend in one of my classes but i text her and she never text me back. so i guess not. the last few days its just been me sitting in my apartment. i dont talk to anyone. i just sit here. i feel pathetic because i look forward to school starting again.

 

[evanescencefan91]

hey heretostay

*hugs*

i know the feeling well

graduating in an auditorium class of 400 and none to call a friend

do you have a break in between semesters?

make it clear to your husband that you want to spend it with him

4 months in to college here and I've yet to make a single friend here in the dorm,

i'm trying to remeber what i did on my last day, i'm sure i spent it here

but it was a good day nonetheless,

share a cake between you and a good book

even if the imaginary friends never take a bite

it's hard and solemn i know, but the subtle amount of love you can give yourself helps



ps i had to dictionary allele that is an awesome signiture i can tottally relate i'm going to make that my face book status

 

[heretostay]

it's hard and solemn i know, but the subtle amount of love you can give yourself helps

well, you make a good point. i dont give myself much love either. im usually calling myself a loser everything other moment. im not a loser though. im just in a slump. i had friends once. i just dont know how to get them again. i live in a big city, im married, and i dont go to bars or clubs. at a loss. i think im just going to have to bite the bullet and go back to my old church. i didnt really want to do that because i dont believe that religion, but im not making friends any other way it seems.

i had to dictionary allele that is an awesome signiture i can tottally relate i'm going to make that my face book status

i thought it was pretty funny. i got it because there is a study that says depressed people actually have a shorter allele then others. if you are interested i'll try and find the study. either way, i thought it was a hilarious reference to getting the shorter end of the stick in life.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

sorry to hear about your shitty day.. i agree a cake is a good option, i would recommend a cheese cake..mmm.. sweet

congrats on making it through your semester

bit rough to get turned down by your husband on a day of celebration.. was there a possibility of seeing a movie together another day perhaps? he can't be playing racket ball everyday.. can he?

give yourself a pat on the back dude. well done

 

[heretostay]

sorry to hear about your shitty day.. i agree a cake is a good option, i would recommend a cheese cake..mmm.. sweet

congrats on making it through your semester

bit rough to get turned down by your husband on a day of celebration.. was there a possibility of seeing a movie together another day perhaps? he can't be playing racket ball everyday.. can he?

give yourself a pat on the back dude. well done

thanks. it was a very hard semester. i could have gone with my H to a movie on another day, but my adrenaline was just pumping right in that moment. i just wanted to let it all out with someone right in that moment. who knows. maybe my life path right now is to learn to love myself even when i feel no one else does. im not exactly being nice to myself at the moment. maybe everything is perfect the way it is and i need to learn to love myself, enjoy being with myself, and this is my challenge at this point in my life. maybe ive been missing the point the whole time. ive been constantly trying to reach out for other people to fill my sense of worth and to make me feel ok about myself. maybe the universe is trying to get me to heal myself, all by myself.

 

[evanescencefan91]

really wow cool ya you should really send me a study to that link please

 

[heretostay]

heres the complicated version:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/...nkpos=1&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfrom=pubmed

And here's the easier-to-read version:

http://www.psycheducation.org/mechanism/1MoralityorGenes.htm

 

[Naleena]

Im sorry you had a bad day. ((((((((((((*)))))))))))) It sucks not to have someone to hang out with. Yes, I do know what it feels like to cry alone, when no one sees you. It feels good to get it all out and it's sad that there is no one there to share those moments with. Thats when I look to something greater than people. I don't believe we are ever truley alone though I know how it is to feel isolated.


I do want to also congradulate you for getting through the semester! You did it! Yeah! I remember those days of getting to the end and making it...lol You should feel proud for your accomplishment.
Whoo hooo!

 

[heretostay]

thanks Naleena. i guess i am proud of myself. not only did i get through the semester but i got straight A's

 

[Minus]

... not only did i get through the semester but i got straight A's

Great job

 

[heretostay]

thanks Minus

 

[Stagnant]

Thank you very much Heretostay
for posting the articles,
the one on brain chemistry was really interesting

 

[Whirligig]

I'm in a similar place. Woke up on Friday to find that school was closed due to snow (I'm a teacher). I was disappointed because it meant another day of being on my own. All these people running around in the snow enjoying themselves... in the end I made myself a very small snowman outside on my balcony, then sat and cried in front of it.

So as one lonely soul to another, have a hug.