Has someone been trought this too?

[Elise1101]

Hello, I'm new here, so I don't know how things work, sorry about any mistakes.
I just wanted to know if there's someone, anyone who has been trough some things I've been going trought. Looking for any advice, anything helps.

I am 28 years old, do not have a job for 2 years now, do not have a graduation.The best job I've had was in a fabric floor, night shift, and I was fired and they told me I have to many problems and disabilities to be capable of working. People often judge me as an incapable person, ho can not have any use in society.

I had a dificult childhood, my parents where really violent, angry and mad people. They did bad things to me and to themselves. I lived in a very sick, mad and tiwsted environment. This caused me some learning and emotional disabilities.

I know I'm not like normal people, but I do know I can learn some things, and I can contribute to society and have a job and do things.
I've been seeking jobs for a long time now, people always turning me down, because I am diferent and not so smart and quick as others. I may not be like the most of people, but I do not feel I am incapable, even everyone saiyng so, even the people I've seeked for help.

I really wanted people to see me, for who I am, for all the things I've been trought and survived. I try to show them, that I can do things, I can be in a job! I try to show them the things I am good at, but they laught at me, some of the people who interviewed me for jobs told me that I will never be anything, that I should see the reality of things and acept that I am not normal.

Why people do that? Why can people see that some persons are not normal, but they still persons, they still have the right of having a life. Why is that no one can give me a chance? Why is that people judge you without even knowing you?

I've had a honeysuckle childhood and I still alive after all this. How many people survived trought that? Isn't that something? Doesn't that shows that this person is somehow stronger than others?

It's easy to live with a normal life, with loving and caring parents and a supoertive family and friends.
I've lived trough hell, and here I am, still alive after all, and figthing everyday!!! And this people don't see this, they just see that I am a crazy woman, with a bad bagage and with emocional and intelectual disabilities.

What can I do? Can someone help me? Because I've tried everything I could and I think I do deserve a chance of having a job, having a life and one day maybe to know what is to be loved and what is to trust another human.

I am getting tired of this fight, of fighting the world.
Please if someone has a life history that can conect to mine, please tell me how to find the strenght to keep fighting the world, alone!

 

[Mary Mary]

people always turning me down, because I am diferent and not so smart and quick as others. I may not be like the most of people, but I do not feel I am incapable, even everyone saiyng so, even the people I've seeked for help.

I can tell by the way you write that you're intelligent. I can see spelling errors and such, but you don't write like a stupid person.

Do you have access to therapy?

 

[Punisher]

Hi Elise, and welcome

I had a dificult childhood, my parents where really violent, angry and mad people. They did bad things to me and to themselves. I lived in a very sick, mad and tiwsted environment. This caused me some learning and emotional disabilities.

My father was violent, and my eldest brother (who had to look after us when my parents were at work) was violent and twisted. I know exactly how you feel.

I wasn't allowed to go out, and talking or making too much noise would get us beatings. Now it's kind of normal for me to stay home and be quiet all the time, but that doesn't help me with living life in the real world.

I am getting tired of this fight, of fighting the world.
Please if someone has a life history that can conect to mine, please tell me how to find the strenght to keep fighting the world, alone!

I don't know... I wouldn't exactly say I'm "fighting the world", more like I'm just hiding from it.

 

[LGH1288]

Hello, I'm new here, so I don't know how things work, sorry about any mistakes.
I just wanted to know if there's someone, anyone who has been trough some things I've been going trought. Looking for any advice, anything helps.

I am 28 years old, do not have a job for 2 years now, do not have a graduation.The best job I've had was in a fabric floor, night shift, and I was fired and they told me I have to many problems and disabilities to be capable of working. People often judge me as an incapable person, ho can not have any use in society.

I had a dificult childhood, my parents where really violent, angry and mad people. They did bad things to me and to themselves. I lived in a very sick, mad and tiwsted environment. This caused me some learning and emotional disabilities.

I know I'm not like normal people, but I do know I can learn some things, and I can contribute to society and have a job and do things.
I've been seeking jobs for a long time now, people always turning me down, because I am diferent and not so smart and quick as others. I may not be like the most of people, but I do not feel I am incapable, even everyone saiyng so, even the people I've seeked for help.

I really wanted people to see me, for who I am, for all the things I've been trought and survived. I try to show them, that I can do things, I can be in a job! I try to show them the things I am good at, but they laught at me, some of the people who interviewed me for jobs told me that I will never be anything, that I should see the reality of things and acept that I am not normal.

Why people do that? Why can people see that some persons are not normal, but they still persons, they still have the right of having a life. Why is that no one can give me a chance? Why is that people judge you without even knowing you?

I've had a honeysuckle childhood and I still alive after all this. How many people survived trought that? Isn't that something? Doesn't that shows that this person is somehow stronger than others?

It's easy to live with a normal life, with loving and caring parents and a supoertive family and friends.
I've lived trough hell, and here I am, still alive after all, and figthing everyday!!! And this people don't see this, they just see that I am a crazy woman, with a bad bagage and with emocional and intelectual disabilities.

What can I do? Can someone help me? Because I've tried everything I could and I think I do deserve a chance of having a job, having a life and one day maybe to know what is to be loved and what is to trust another human.

I am getting tired of this fight, of fighting the world.
Please if someone has a life history that can conect to mine, please tell me how to find the strenght to keep fighting the world, alone!

Dear Elise1101 -- Thank goodness for wonderful people like you who are strong-willed survivors and who don't crumble under adversity. I too had a shitty childhood, although it seems that yours was sadly much more challenging. But, we can move past all that, yes? The trick is how to get others to understand the value we see in ourselves. Please tell me, what type of work do you like? What's you dream job? What is your education? What are your qualifications? Do you have a résumé or curriculum vitae? Let's build your dream career and figure a way to implement your dreams in the real world, OK? Welcome to ALL. LG

 

[oh_boy]

Hello, Elise

It seems like your story is quite similar to mine, though of course I know so little about you.

I think many people treat you like some goofy or child etc, cause they have their own ambitious plans. They're friendly only with these people that can significantly contribute to their lives, all other people are ones who should keep distant. I think you have to find some people you can give something personally. They won't think bad things about you.

Sorry, I think I don't have much advice for you and you shouldn't take it too seriously, cause I may be wrong I think normal (who you think are way smarter) people could give you good advice. But in order to get that good advice you should become their friend. Haven't you tried that already? Maybe you should keep trying, I don't know. Decide yourself. But if you're very bored and find you're lonely, you can PM me.

By the way your avatar is really nice.

 

[Elise1101]

Thanks to everyone!

Mary Mary, I also don't think I am stupid. I do have some problems. I can't work with numbers, nor multiplication, division and so on. Everything with numbers is near impossible to me. I can not read pointers clocks. When I work with money, I can take up to 10 to 20 minutes to check the change, and I have to write down the numbers and make the calculation in the papper, can not make it in the head.
I am in the line in social service to get a therapist, but things are a little slow, I hope that when my time comes, I will get better with professional help. They sure have their ways to help people and I hope they will help me.


Dear Punisher, I know how you feel. I wish I could hide myself. I was hidenn back when I was in a shelter for kids who where taken from parents with legal issues. It was somehow a calm place, I had food, activities, I had people to take care of me. But when it ended, I was on the streets by myself. And when you have no place to hide, you have 2 choices: you can be on the streets, doing bad things to get money, living a low life. Or you can fight to get out of there.
I don't want to be like my parents where, I don't want to be a low life, I don't want to be involved with drugs or any bad things. So I choose fight. I guess is a matter of choice, because there's some people I know who likes best being on the streets, doing bad things, because it's easier than fighting to get out.
Now I live with my aunt and her 2 dogs, It's a nice place, but I know I can not depend on her, she has her life, and I have to have mine. I feel bad by depending on her, on her money. I clean the house, wash and iron clothes, do all housekeeping, take care of dogs. But that is not a job, that is paiyng for a favor. Maybe someday I will be hiding somewhere, but then it will be my place, that I will pay rent with my money, and at least I will be depending on my own legs. That's what I am figthing for.

LGH1288, my dream job is working with pets. I have issues with people. When a person touches me, I have to cover my ears, sing loud, sit on the floor an swing my body fast. It also happens if someone shouts at me. Those things brings back memories, and I have to calm myself down to make them go away. Then people start calling me freak, and they think That I am crazy and that I will do bad things or hurt others. I explain that it's just a way to calm mysefl, that I would never hurt anyone, but people think I am dangerous to others because of some of my behaviours. My aunt knows me, so she never touches me and she knows that when I have this episodes it's not dangerous to anybody. But pets can touch me, I have no problems with them. I like being around them, I think the closest thing I know of love it's the feeliing I have from my aunt dogs, I love them. I like pets because they have no evil in their hearts, I trust them and I love them.
I have not finished highschool because of my issue with numbers, but I've learned a lot of things by myself, reading books. I love to read, and I know history, geography and I am very good at biology. I hope soomeday work with pets at a pet shop maybe.

oh_boy, I think people are afraid of me. It's a small neghboorhod in a small town, I've been living here all my life, even the shelter I was wasn't far from here. So people know about my parents, and they think I have some kind of bad seed, they say taht the apple don't fall to far from the tree. My younger brother went to bad ways, and they think I am goind to do the same, that's because they don't know me. I don't think normal people are smater, I think there is no even normal people, but thats how I call people who can manage their emotions and who can finish highschool, and graduated and get a job. Sometimes I think a therapist can help me, sometimes I wonder how will someone help me if they do not went trought the things I went. It's confuse, that's why somedays I wish I could have someone who went trough same things to talk, back in the shelter I had a lot of people with same life histories, but most of them are in the streets and the others I've lost contact. For now my only friends are my aunt and her 2 dogs blu and rabito.
Someday when people stop judging me, stop being afraid of me, people will see that I have no bad seed in me, that the bad that was made to me, does not made me bad. I am not dangerous to anyone, And I would never hurt anyone, even if they hurt me, I can not, because this is not in me, it's not who I am.
That's why the lotus flower, my aunt told me that I am a lotus flower, who is born in the dirty mud, but then grows higher and becomes clean, and theres is no mud in the petals, and the mud is far away down in the floor.

 

[spectacles]

Hi elise,
I ADMIRE U. U sound so strong eventhough u went through such a hard life. Keep fighting the world as u have been doing all these years. I cant really give u the answer u ar looking for but I can wish u all the best in life, coz everybody deserves a good life no matter if they are good or not at maths.
That was really nice about the lotus flower, it will always remind me of u
Best of luck

 

[Mary Mary]

Elise1101 - it's important to have the support that you need.

I can't do math in my head, and I'm an engineer...it's really embarrassing.

 

[LGH1288]

Elise1101 -- What's your age? And, in what country (state and/or province) do you live? I'll try to help you. LG

 

[SherryGee]

hey elise
i can't believe that people judge you for your disabilities, these people are stupid, not you! they need to realise that nobody are perfect so everybody, including you, desearve a chance. you also have made effort for applying jobs because you want to do something which is good.

i have to admit that my speech, spellings and my english skills aren't that good, people criticise me and laugh at me, its hard to ignore them but end of day, we all still alive . so you are not only one.

 

[Callie]

welcome elise

 

[Viqta]

Elise, I really like your spirit. Keep it up. Just try do what some friends around here have already told you; you just never can tell.

 

[Lawrens]

Hi Elise, yea as people already mentioned in the thread, you seem like a very capable person. Welcome to ALL, I hope you could find a career that suits you and continue to fight.