Hello everyone

[Heatherrruh]

Hello,

I'm new to this. I'm really not even that familiar with using forums. I just read them a lot and lurk.

I joined mostly because I really don't have any friends. To make it worse, I moved to a small town... a high retirement town and i'm in my 20s. I'm used to the city where even if I'm alone, I can find something to do. There really isn't anything here and other than orange groves and old people. I also work from home and I have no reason to leave my house other than to get groceries. The few young adults around this area seem to be burn outs with terrible oral hygiene and have no goals in life.... Which I guess I can't blame them as there are no job opportunities other than retail and food service and the closest city is 1.5 hours in all directions.

Maybe I'm just too picky and self righteous about who I become friends with... but I don't think I could make friends even if I tried. When I was still working in the office I never really clicked with anyone. Everyone else seemed to be friends with each other. When someone would talk to me, I would have no idea what to say. I felt like if the subject wasn't work related, then I don't know how to appropriately respond because all things that I have to talk about are depressing and I don't want anyone to know how depressing my life is. Now I work from home and the only way I know that there is no zombie apocalypse is if I need to go grocery shopping.

 

[Bluey]

I spend most of my time at home so i hear you there.
Not much I can advice,

I dont think your to righteous for having standers. I could befriend more people then I do. Its just I dont wont to be high on some crap and drunk out my tree all of the time. That way of living in my experience normally comes with non payment of bill followed by eviction , a criminal record and eventually in older age health problems. And no real true friends. I would rather have no friends then fake friends. Which is I guess what I have chosen.

Welcome here

 

[Serephina]

Hi,welcome to the forum

 

[Sometimes]

Hi Heatherrruh, Welcome to the forum

 

[katisk]

Hello Heatherrruh,

Thank you nice post. Give yourself at least 9 months before deciding if you like the city. Remember the reasons why you chose to move there in the first place. As far as not having any friends; you're definitively not alone. I'm older, and still don't have anyone to call a friend. I know people, and I have my family, but people I know are all acquaintances, and my family is not supportive, so I am fending for myself. I live in a small city,where most of the folks have lived 20 years plus, and I'm a newcomer, add that to the fact, that I am not of the standard ethnic background around here, pair it with introversion and shyness, and you'll find all lonesome me. In most occasions I don't feel alone. Except on holidays, and around Christmas, but then again all of that is being portrait by the media as a picture-perfect time for gatherings around the dinner table with family and friends, while in reality, some people dread the thought of having to expend time with distant, and not so distant family members. I'm open to friendship, but I've been hurt, and so I am careful and choosy. One thing does bothers me, and is the thought of not having anybody show up at my funeral, but then again, I'll be dead, and won't be able to see it. Meantime, I try to do good for others, and I am kind, but not overly excited about trusting people. One time I heard, if you don't love yourself, you can't open up and love those around you, and to make friends one must open up and expose oneself. Maybe this is true. You're post is one of a spiritual person. Best wishes to you.

 

[Heatherrruh]

Thank you everyone for being so welcoming and helpful. I've been in the process to make changes in my life which is why I moved to nowhere-land in the first place. I think that these changes will be good as far as my financial future is concerned... I just really need help with the social part of my life. I don't want to continue to mope around feeling alone but at the same time I don't want to fake my social exchanges.

I plan on going to counseling after I close on my... NEW HOUSE!!! (I'm not trying to brag I'm just very proud of myself for getting this far on my own)

Being social and networking are a big part of this new career that I'm pursuing. It's hard since I've always been introverted and generally hate people because of my experiences and seeing the lack of honor, standards, and self discipline from a lot of people around me... Which is why I, for the most part, resent the human race. I know that not all people are like that and I really need to get past this feeling and let go.

One thing I know about myself is that if I want something bad enough, I will make it happen. I already feel like it's a lot of effort to work on myself and I will probably need to place myself in uncomfortable situations, socially and mentally speaking. I'm glad I found this forum where everyone is very friendly and supportive and I really feel like it will help a lot.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Welcome to the forum Heather.