Hi Lonelygirl
I'm so sorry you had to suffer threw such a harsh childhood,I truly hope you find happiness.Are you sure you won't ever fit in?maybe not in the conventinal sense,with many friends and all but prehaps there is a small group of kindred souls out there Lonelygirl,thats sort of how I see things.Personally I think the world is full of alot of very shallow and selfish people but there is a small group that are not,that really think,really feel,really live and in your life you may cross paths with them a few times.
My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and I spent most of my childhood with my grandparents.Up until I was 12 things where great with them,they where in fact kind of loving to me and while not wealthy where solid middle class.Things changed when I was 12 and my grandmother died,my grandfather had a stroke a few years before that and it really changed him,it made him get very angry,very easily.When she was gone,well she seemed to be the only one sort of keeping him check things started getting crazy.Just before I turned 13 he pulled a loaded gun on me.Within a few months of that my brother and I where sent off to live with our father but it created it own new set of problems.I really didn't know my other that well to be honest.As a child I really only saw her once or twice a month.She was actually rather...cold.
I really don't want to keep on in this line of work and believe me I have found my share of treasure.It was actually I and not my father that got the best find ever in any job we ever did,a rather valuble collection of rock records,rare ones like beatles albums from japan made from red vinyl,promo records,imports from all over the world.Now you would say why would i want to leave such things?I am not sure if I have a good answer expect to say that I was forced into this line of work and I feel my father has had enough say in my life.I really just want to get away from all this and I plan on trying yet again,somehow I will get out of this mess.Also while I have found my share of treasure,I have also seen the ugly side of life in explict terms in the work I have done.Its been many years since I lived in that well off suburb of my teens,I live in a very bad part of town and 90% of the places we work on are in bad parts of town.I've seen houses so vile most people wouldn't want to go into them much less clean them out.I've seen things in these houses that make me sick to my stomach,like one awful apartment building where someone posted a sign openly offering the services of a prostitute.I feel sometimes like I am cleaning out the seedy under belly of where I live,I find crack pipes,jars of human waste,things I refuse to touch and it just....drains me.I just want to go somewhere thats not so ugly all the time.
My place is indeed a hellhole,its got bad wiring,bad electric,bad plumbing and truth be told it would altogether better if the **** place was torn down.
I haven't seen much anime really but I love a good vampire story of horror novel,I just have a love of those things.Some of it may be from living in this old city that is full of ghost stories(town did use to be a nice place now its a train wreck)and its not so much if there true or not,I just love to hear them.