Hello

[Infamously_Unknown]

Hi. I found this forum by typing 'lonely forum' in to google. I'm a 32 year old man, and I live in New Mexico, USA. I have a lot of problems:

I'm afraid of people. Whenever I'm around someone who I don't know, I get a very bad anxiety attack. It has gotten so bad that I can barely leave my house anymore. It took me over two hours to work up the courage to join this forum. I don't have any friends to talk to, and I'm not close with my family.

I think my problem is that I'm tired of being hurt. I've been hurt so often, that at some point I gave up on people and decided to spend my life alone. I didn't expect that the solitude would drive me crazy, but it seems obvious that that is what has happened. I can't afford any professional help, and I can't work through things alone. My fear, loneliness and depression get worse everyday. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm sorry if this was too much information, but this post is basically a desperate cry for help. Thank you for reading.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Have you been physically hurt by being around people a lot? When did these anxiety issues begin?

 

[Reggie Jected]

Hi, we'll try to be as accomadating as possible.

How do you make a living?

 

[applepear]

Hey.

Maybe you should force yourselves into social situations. Think of it like a game. Join a gym, or a simple activity like yoga. Every time you interact successfully, say with a counter lady or with a new friend and feel good, treat yourself. Or add points. This really works. Many psychologists use this kind of different scenarios to train people, so they learn nothing bad happens in new social situations. Soon they learn nobody will hurt them. Maybe some people are just nasty but probably thats like 1 out of 30...tell yourself you will deflect the hurt! No point being troubled over others nastiness!

But I understand its easier said than done....leaving the house is the first step. Do something you enjoy. I too, am sometimes afraid of certain social situations. I have a complex over my hair because I was bullied about it at a young age. Till today, I have a fear of going hair salons (weird but true...) I get fearful talking to stylists because I don't wanna mess up my hairstyle and look stupid. I only go when I can bring my mom along. I'm 18....and have NEVER been to a hair salon on my own. Its just scary. Once forced my mom to sit down 8 hours in the salon to accompany me while I straighten and dyed my hair lol...

So I hope you know...everyone has their quirks. One day (very soon i hope) I hope to get over my fear of hair salons and you too will get over your fear of getting hurt (soon,too!)!!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Hi, you've come to the right place. Don't be afraid to join in on conversations, not all of us bite. You'll probably find you have a lot in common with people around here.

 

[Firefly]

Hi there. Welcome to the forum.
It took me a while to join up too and your intro post is a lot more coherent than mine was
Re: professional help - I'm not sure how things work in the US but could you try your doctor to start with ? If not, there are on-line therapists that may be affordable.

Alternatively, if you interact more on here it may help to show you that there are people out there that don't want to hurt you. This may help when you come into contact with people in your everyday life.
I hope things get better for you.

 

[Infamously_Unknown]

Thank you everyone for the welcome, responses and advice. I'm sorry if my post came off as sounding crazy, but like I said, I think I have gone a bit crazy.

applepear: Thanks for the advice, its a good idea. I think I'll try and go to a bank with the exscuse of starting a coin collection or something. Bank employees are usually nice to everyone. Also, I only shop for groceries once a month----and its a nightmare for me when I do---but I'll try and go a little more often.

Firefly: Thank you, I'll see if I can find an affordable online therapist. I'll also try and interact here, hopefully people will be patient with me.

To clarify a few things: I've had anxiety problems for about five years now. I work from home. Even though I'm capable of doing work that pays better, I'm incapable of actually going out and finding a good job. A job interview alone would be too much for me, but actually going to a job everyday would be impossible at this point. I don't have insurance at the moment, so no doctor.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Thank you everyone for the welcome, responses and advice. I'm sorry if my post came off as sounding crazy, but like I said, I think I have gone a bit crazy.

applepear: Thanks for the advice, its a good idea. I think I'll try and go to a bank with the exscuse of starting a coin collection or something. Bank employees are usually nice to everyone. Also, I only shop for groceries once a month----and its a nightmare for me when I do---but I'll try and go a little more often.

Firefly: Thank you, I'll see if I can find an affordable online therapist. I'll also try and interact here, hopefully people will be patient with me.

To clarify a few things: I've had anxiety problems for about five years now. I work from home. Even though I'm capable of doing work that pays better, I'm incapable of actually going out and finding a good job. A job interview alone would be too much for me, but actually going to a job everyday would be impossible at this point. I don't have insurance at the moment, so no doctor.

Do you do any form of exercise or martial art? You sound like you have serious anxiety issues and failing any other direct method of dealing with it, serotonin from exercise may be your best bet.

 

[Soup]

Usually I would suggest applepear's idea, but if the anxiety attacks are serious then I would combine both IgnoredOne's idea and hers.

I would go jogging in places that may lead to indirect social contact; it's only small steps at first. Asking an old man with a dog the time, just something to break you through your shell.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Honestly, I would recommend medication(and this is VERY unlike me) but since he cannot afford a therapist, that doesn't seem possible. Are you sure you cannot get any publically funded health care for yourself at all?

 

[Poguesy]

G'day

 

[BUFFALOBT]

Interested in hearing about your upbringing...please PM if interested in sharing...thanks and welcome.