Hello :)

[anais_ninja]

It's taken me a while to build up the courage to post here. I am a grad student (or, I will be a grad student in the fall). I'm very introverted. I have generally had a small circle of close friends but have noticed that dwindling over the past couple of years. I find it very difficult to get to know new people. I have some pretty severe trust issues due to some things that happened with friends in the past, and so often I think "why bother?"

Also the person I would consider my closest/best friend has his own issues (avoidant, withdrawn) and we are not as emotionally close as I would prefer to be. His idea of friendship is "someone you talk to" and I'm his "best friend" because he talks to me most which is not ideal for me. I need an emotional connection.

I feel alone almost all the time, even when surrounded by people. Part of me wants to make new friends, but another part of me is afraid of betrayal or getting hurt. As I have told my friend, I want to be seen. I want you to really *see* me and understand me on a human level. But I feel like nobody really sees me. I'm just a source of amusement. A person to talk to. A person to fill space or time or alleviate boredom. And that makes me feel sad and used.

Anyway that's my story. Hopefully I will meet some kind people here.

 

[Edward W]

Hi Anais

You will find kind people here, I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Welcome to the site.

 

[Cavey]

Hi Anais. I like your username; very amusing.

Welcome to the forum. I hope you... bugger... beaten to that bit, um, pull up a chair and relax

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey anais_ninja, welcome to the forum. We've another ninja here... watch out guys.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Welcome to the forum, Ninja.

 

[9006]

Ahh, another Ninja.

Welcome to the site.