so much thank u all for welcome ...
low-self respect, broken line of life, self hatred....
well... i think i could overcome some parts.. and i think im not such person anymore...
but.. sometimes, small dregs of the past make me find the place to hide..
and some broken desires cover my ways ...make my eyes darkened...
i have two angels...
when they look at me... i can feel best warm in the world...
but, i wonder it is real... wonder i have rights to have ...
i hesitate still...to right something on here..
always i terrified of other's eyes.. and.. i know there is me in the eyes...
i know i see myself with such eyes at all...
used to go hospital, used to get counsel...
ok...
my life is 3 parts... was victim.. was maniac.. and struggle to live now..
maybe .. no need to write in detail all stories...
i was gang rape victim...
and had lived as nympho..
and now.. after i met my hubby... i could get back my soul...
honestly, he knew the accident.. but he dont know my life after accident.
i tried to tell sometimes.. and hope to get his understand and warm hugs...
but im so afraid ... to find such eyes from him.
and.. i feel guilty when i see my lovely son's eyes... always..
live in happiness.. live in warmness... but feel so small.. and lonely..
someday.. i hope to talk about all with my hubby...
i tried to write well... but ..i couldnt..
cuz my broken english.
cant express all my means..with english..
i guess there are so many misunderstood.. poor expressions..
but.. i hope u all can understand well...
thank u to read this poor thread...
