Hi. I am completely new to the big wide world of forums. I came across this forum and it seems to be something that I am looking for.
Just some basic background as to who I am. My name is Alex (Royak as a Forum name, you can call me either one). I am a 21-year-old Canadian. I currently study History at a University, and I am in my third year. History for me is quite fascinating, and is one of the few things in my life that keeps me going. The Other is my Spirituality. I am a Christian, and I do not believe in converting people or forcing my religion onto others. Respect the fact that I have a faith that I trust in completely, and I respect your faith or your choice to not have a faith.
What makes my life complicated, and the reason I decided to join this forum, can boil down to a few main points, most of which I try not to go into a long winded speech here, but I probably will anyway haha. These points aren't in any order, just whatever comes to me.
Point #1: My sexual orientation. This is a tad bit complicated, especially with my public and private life. I am Gender Fluid. While I maintain the elements of being male in public, in the privacy of my room, majority of the time I am feminine. To put it into context, I have a beard (Have had one since 2010), and I dress casually, but nothing feminine. I have issues where I strive to maintain a "Perfect" Reputation and image, making others believe I am "Normal" (If there is such a thing) My mother knows, my father doesn't. I choose to keep it that way, hence with the anonymity of a forum, I am able to disclose this information.
Point #2: My Childhood. I, along with my mother, were verbally and sexually abused for over 10 years by my ex-stepfather. My mother was able to gain the strength to divorce him 4 years ago, and I proceeded to help my mother heal. My logic as a teenager was to help the parent stabilize and heal so that I would have a parent who could continue to raise me despite the events over the past 10 years. Foolishly, I removed myself from the events and incidents, preventing myself from getting the help I need, still to this day. Being on this forum, I hope, I can read other people's stories and learn from their life experiences.
Point #3: My Maturity. Living in a society that is as sexually provocative as it is, I have always failed to integrate with the 21st century. I am still a virgin, I have never become Drunk, never done Drugs, I haven't even hit another human being before. I am frustrated by my efforts to live in a world that rejects all that I represent (at least it seems to me). I believe in peace, love, and kindness. It ties into my spirituality. I follow my faith quite closely, and I try to act out my faith through kindness. I never push scripture on anyone (I find people use it way too much out of context, I don't even quote it), rather I emulate my faith through my personality, which I guess should be a point all on its own.
Point #4: My Empathic Nature. So, I have what I believe is called 'Empathic Abilities'. It allows me to connect to not only people, but also objects, buildings, even time itself. (I guess that's where my love of history comes from) I'm not some all-powerful psychic. My abilities are all passive. I'm like an observer. I observe emotions, events, that kind of stuff. This is really problematic for me as I tend to get too caught up in other people's emotions.
Anyway, I'm so sorry this is long. There is a lot to me, and I hope this brief (haha, more like an essay to me) explanation of who I am can allow anyone to understand where I come from when I offer my thoughts on a situation or any advice that one may seek. If anyone wants to vent, I consider myself to be a natural listener. Don't be shy to send me a PM if you are interested in either talking or learning more about the 4 points I gave.
P.S: I seem so nerdy and odd typing out this post like this haha. Again, I'm new at this kind of stuff, so please forgive my lengthy introduction to myself. Have a good day!
Just some basic background as to who I am. My name is Alex (Royak as a Forum name, you can call me either one). I am a 21-year-old Canadian. I currently study History at a University, and I am in my third year. History for me is quite fascinating, and is one of the few things in my life that keeps me going. The Other is my Spirituality. I am a Christian, and I do not believe in converting people or forcing my religion onto others. Respect the fact that I have a faith that I trust in completely, and I respect your faith or your choice to not have a faith.
What makes my life complicated, and the reason I decided to join this forum, can boil down to a few main points, most of which I try not to go into a long winded speech here, but I probably will anyway haha. These points aren't in any order, just whatever comes to me.
Point #1: My sexual orientation. This is a tad bit complicated, especially with my public and private life. I am Gender Fluid. While I maintain the elements of being male in public, in the privacy of my room, majority of the time I am feminine. To put it into context, I have a beard (Have had one since 2010), and I dress casually, but nothing feminine. I have issues where I strive to maintain a "Perfect" Reputation and image, making others believe I am "Normal" (If there is such a thing) My mother knows, my father doesn't. I choose to keep it that way, hence with the anonymity of a forum, I am able to disclose this information.
Point #2: My Childhood. I, along with my mother, were verbally and sexually abused for over 10 years by my ex-stepfather. My mother was able to gain the strength to divorce him 4 years ago, and I proceeded to help my mother heal. My logic as a teenager was to help the parent stabilize and heal so that I would have a parent who could continue to raise me despite the events over the past 10 years. Foolishly, I removed myself from the events and incidents, preventing myself from getting the help I need, still to this day. Being on this forum, I hope, I can read other people's stories and learn from their life experiences.
Point #3: My Maturity. Living in a society that is as sexually provocative as it is, I have always failed to integrate with the 21st century. I am still a virgin, I have never become Drunk, never done Drugs, I haven't even hit another human being before. I am frustrated by my efforts to live in a world that rejects all that I represent (at least it seems to me). I believe in peace, love, and kindness. It ties into my spirituality. I follow my faith quite closely, and I try to act out my faith through kindness. I never push scripture on anyone (I find people use it way too much out of context, I don't even quote it), rather I emulate my faith through my personality, which I guess should be a point all on its own.
Point #4: My Empathic Nature. So, I have what I believe is called 'Empathic Abilities'. It allows me to connect to not only people, but also objects, buildings, even time itself. (I guess that's where my love of history comes from) I'm not some all-powerful psychic. My abilities are all passive. I'm like an observer. I observe emotions, events, that kind of stuff. This is really problematic for me as I tend to get too caught up in other people's emotions.
Anyway, I'm so sorry this is long. There is a lot to me, and I hope this brief (haha, more like an essay to me) explanation of who I am can allow anyone to understand where I come from when I offer my thoughts on a situation or any advice that one may seek. If anyone wants to vent, I consider myself to be a natural listener. Don't be shy to send me a PM if you are interested in either talking or learning more about the 4 points I gave.
P.S: I seem so nerdy and odd typing out this post like this haha. Again, I'm new at this kind of stuff, so please forgive my lengthy introduction to myself. Have a good day!
