Hello

[Charleygirl]

I have no problem helping if I know what you need.

I am in only my second sexual relationship and I do not think these things are typical that he wishes for me to do. My first sexual relationship was 3 times and were very uncomfortable in my body but not in my mind. I have asked this man why he wants to do these things and always he says this is just normal. My limited experience has me thinking I am inadequate and I am not sure how to grasp these ideas of typical sex

 

[Lonely girl 28]

I'm sorry. Ive been there. If you're not comfortable doing something, don't make yourself do it. At the end of the day your relationship with yourself is most important. Go with your gut.

You can tell your man how you feel. If he respects you he'll won't do whatever or try to dismiss your feelings. Sadly you might loose the guy but it's better to be with someone who truly respects you.

 

[Finished]

It sounds like he's using the good old pressure techniques. Don't fall for that crap. "Hey! Everybody is smoking this stuff. So, you should too." "All the girls do this so should you."

You'll find everybody using these kinds of pressure techniques throughout your life. Like Lonely Girl said, go with you gut and don't make yourself do it just to please him.

He might even say, "if you don't do this and this then I'm going to leave." Another pressure technique. Just say okay if you want to leave then leave I can't stop you. But, I'm not going to do this or that just because you want me to do it.

It's about confidence. I'm sure you want to please him and do the normal thing so you don't feel weird or odd. But, you have to protect your own well being because nobody else will.

You'll find guys that like to use pressure to get what they want don't stick around long and that's a good thing. It's better to get an understanding guy that cares about your feelings and what feels good to you.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

Now while I am an adult (in my late 40's), I never been in a relationship so I am probably not the best one for giving you any advice.

That said, the way I see it, if they are asking you to do something that you are not comfortable in doing, don't do it. No one should make you feel pressured to do something, or make you feel uncomfortable about doing something. Maybe talk it over, if they truly love and respect you they shouldn't pressure you into doing anything, even if it is the norm for them. It they continue to pressure you then maybe they are not the right one for you.

Hope you find the help that you need.