Susana
Well-known member
Hi everyone, I'm still trying to find my feet around ths site. Am I even in the right post? I'm from South Africa and we don't have such sites available at all. Anyway can anyone help me out here please. I've been in a relationship for 5 years. 2 years ago my boyfriend proposed to me but then we started fighting a lot and he withdrew his proposal saying that living together is the same thing as marriage and because he had been married before, he was not going to take another chance on marriage again. I have also been married before. After many tears and pain and because I loved him dearly I accepted the fact. Although still kept wearing his ring. Go figure...lots of confussion as some people would ask me whats happening? Getting married or not??
2 years down the line I cracked, which is now! I realised that I gave up too much of what I wanted and that was to be married. I don't want to be 80 years old and have a boyfriend :-(.. that is just totally pethetic to me. Being committed means the world to me and I gave it up for him. My hurt and pain came back with a vengance.
I confronted him with all this. He was shocked and realised that he was going to loose me. He admited that 2 years ago he made a huge mistake and he stuffed up big time by not marrying me and asked me to marry him now. I refused! He gave me a ring 2 years ago to keep me knowing well that he did not want marriage and he is doing the same thing now. He knows has asked me to tell him what he needs to do to fix it but I can't tell him what to do as I don't think he can fix it. He asked me to give him some time to come up with something to fix it and then I can decide if it's good enough for me..
I just have so many hurtful feelings inside, like I was not good enough back then for him to marry me and now he wants to marry me only becaus I brought the subject up ..?? How will I ever know that he really wants to marry me.. my whole fairytale has been ruined..
My question is, do I give him that second chance and marry him??
2 years down the line I cracked, which is now! I realised that I gave up too much of what I wanted and that was to be married. I don't want to be 80 years old and have a boyfriend :-(.. that is just totally pethetic to me. Being committed means the world to me and I gave it up for him. My hurt and pain came back with a vengance.
I confronted him with all this. He was shocked and realised that he was going to loose me. He admited that 2 years ago he made a huge mistake and he stuffed up big time by not marrying me and asked me to marry him now. I refused! He gave me a ring 2 years ago to keep me knowing well that he did not want marriage and he is doing the same thing now. He knows has asked me to tell him what he needs to do to fix it but I can't tell him what to do as I don't think he can fix it. He asked me to give him some time to come up with something to fix it and then I can decide if it's good enough for me..
I just have so many hurtful feelings inside, like I was not good enough back then for him to marry me and now he wants to marry me only becaus I brought the subject up ..?? How will I ever know that he really wants to marry me.. my whole fairytale has been ruined..
My question is, do I give him that second chance and marry him??