S
Sean
Guest
Well it's late at night, 2 AM, I can't sleep, so I decided to search around on the internet about depression.
And I came upon this site.
I really think it's important for me to talk to somebody about my problems, and possibly get advice.
Okay well to start.. lately, or rather for a while now, I have not felt very interested in life. Everything seems rather pointless, I have no motivation, I have no hobbies, I have no motivation to try new hobbies..
Going out with the friends i'm still sort of close with feels like a chore.. I'd rather stay at home where I feel 'safe'. I mostly entertain myself by television and computer games. Probably because I can just zone out and not think. Usually I just stay in my room and use my computer.. I don't really like to be with other people.
I have just recently graduated from Highschool, and i'm kind of worried about my future. Like I said above, I have no interests.. I don't have any motivation to go to University.. I don't see myself having any type of typical future like - go to university, meet a nice girl, get a job, buy a house in the suberbs, have children -
Highschool was terrible for me.. I suffer(ed) from intestinal problems.. I won't go into details.. anyways it was often embaressing for me (sometimes having to leave the class several times to use the toilet).. worrying about this problem turned into irrational fears and anxiety.. i worried all the time what people thought about me, i withdrew from friends I was once close with.. my self esteem/confidence suffered.... My grades suffered because I just stopped caring and lost hope.. I barely graduated.
I went to two different doctors.. both seemed to think there was nothing wrong with me physically.. and that it was just in my head.
Later I tried alternative medical treatment.. Natropathy. I'm fairly certain this helped me.
Lately it's not as unbearable as in Highschool.. but the anxiety/fears are still there. I have come to realize that they're irrational.. and it's easier sometimes to calm myself down. I usually get stressed/anxious when I try new things/meet new people/go new places. So I avoid those things.
Anyways, that's just a little medical background.
I just feel kind of empty, without a purpose, wasting what little potential I have by just sitting around all day doing nothing.
I want to change.. I want to do something great with my life.. I want to be social.. meet friends who respect me.. and don't use or take advantage of me.
But I don't know how. Please help.
Note: I did work part-time for two and a half years. I recently quit (3 months ago).
Note2: I forgot to add that I have little or no appetite, I can go many many hours without eating food.. and I do not feel hungry.
And I came upon this site.
I really think it's important for me to talk to somebody about my problems, and possibly get advice.
Okay well to start.. lately, or rather for a while now, I have not felt very interested in life. Everything seems rather pointless, I have no motivation, I have no hobbies, I have no motivation to try new hobbies..
Going out with the friends i'm still sort of close with feels like a chore.. I'd rather stay at home where I feel 'safe'. I mostly entertain myself by television and computer games. Probably because I can just zone out and not think. Usually I just stay in my room and use my computer.. I don't really like to be with other people.
I have just recently graduated from Highschool, and i'm kind of worried about my future. Like I said above, I have no interests.. I don't have any motivation to go to University.. I don't see myself having any type of typical future like - go to university, meet a nice girl, get a job, buy a house in the suberbs, have children -
Highschool was terrible for me.. I suffer(ed) from intestinal problems.. I won't go into details.. anyways it was often embaressing for me (sometimes having to leave the class several times to use the toilet).. worrying about this problem turned into irrational fears and anxiety.. i worried all the time what people thought about me, i withdrew from friends I was once close with.. my self esteem/confidence suffered.... My grades suffered because I just stopped caring and lost hope.. I barely graduated.
I went to two different doctors.. both seemed to think there was nothing wrong with me physically.. and that it was just in my head.
Later I tried alternative medical treatment.. Natropathy. I'm fairly certain this helped me.
Lately it's not as unbearable as in Highschool.. but the anxiety/fears are still there. I have come to realize that they're irrational.. and it's easier sometimes to calm myself down. I usually get stressed/anxious when I try new things/meet new people/go new places. So I avoid those things.
Anyways, that's just a little medical background.
I just feel kind of empty, without a purpose, wasting what little potential I have by just sitting around all day doing nothing.
I want to change.. I want to do something great with my life.. I want to be social.. meet friends who respect me.. and don't use or take advantage of me.
But I don't know how. Please help.
Note: I did work part-time for two and a half years. I recently quit (3 months ago).
Note2: I forgot to add that I have little or no appetite, I can go many many hours without eating food.. and I do not feel hungry.