Her, "Kindness," is starting to piss me off!

[Satchel421]

This is a similar situation to my, "What is a friend," thread.

So, there's this kid in my class who has a habit of being really kind to people. Of course, she still never talks to me, but no one does so why is that important? Yesterday, i over-heard her talking to someone about me. She was saying, "Satchel is such a great guy! He deserves the best in life!"

This.... pisses.... me.... off...

I feel like she is trying to convince other people that she is my best friend, for some reason. I don't care if she is trying to be, "nice," she has no right to assume anything about me because she never even speaks to me. I actually told her this, and she said, "I'm not assuming, it's my opinion." I can only wonder what I did while sitting completely alone in my class made me seem like such a wonderful person.

So my question is, Do I have a right to be upset? Nice or not, I feel like she is mocking me.

 

[Spare]

Yes, you do have a right to be upset. Just like SHE has the right to feel you're a great guy who deserves the best in life. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions. No one can say 'you're wrong for feeling that way', because feelings ARE opinions.

Some people are just good judges of character. They can be around someone and glean what kind of person they are, whether they directly interact with them or not. Personally, I think you should try to get to know her a little bit. Prove to her, and everyone she's talked to, that she is absolutely right about you.

Of course, this is only my opinion.

 

[Fergus]

She may be in love for you. Or sincerely have a good opinion about you. Or maybe she's just mocking you. But don't stay on a negative state of mind and assume the possibility to be truly great. If I was you I would say it's perfectly normal to be in awe of me. But, hehe, you're not me. Too bad.

 

[Melanie]

She gave you a compliment, I would take it and run with it. Don't over analyze it...

 

[heretostay]

Yes, you do have a right to be upset. Just like SHE has the right to feel you're a great guy who deserves the best in life. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions. No one can say 'you're wrong for feeling that way', because feelings ARE opinions.

I agree.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The next time you see her. Flash her and call her a dirty whore.

This way she won't say nice things about you anymore.
You'll be happy and prove to her that she's all messed up in the head for assume you're a nice guy...

Don't let women run your life, man. They start doing this honeysuckle at a young age. Stand up and be the best prick
that you can now...Don't cave in to that honeysuckle. Show her who de man...You de man !!!
Tell her she's is a ***** as she is....call a spade as a spade...like it is, man.

 

[Minus]

If she is as nice as you say then wouldn't it seem unlikely that she is mocking you? Just because you are not aware of where she got her opinion doesn't mean that it isn't her opinion. Maybe it is just based on people mentioning things about you. Could be from many places even if it isn't from direct interaction with you. Who knows.

 

[Satchel421]

Lonesome Crow, what's your problem? I don't need your opinion if you won't take this seriously.

Anyway, but the sounds of things, she got the idea that I'm a great guy from some random place. If it is her opinion, then she has nothing to back it up with. I never talk to anyone, so how would she know? She wasn't complimenting me; she was saying it to another student and I over-heard it. I saw it as my business because they were talking about me. I think she treats other people very kindly, but treating me like garbage isn't, "Unusual," for anyone.

 

[Minus]

Sure you can always question the validity of someones opinion on anything but i haven't heard anything yet that would indicate that she was mocking you or treating you like garbage. As she told you, it is her opinion.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lonesome Crow, what's your problem? I don't need your opinion if you won't take this seriously.

Anyway, but the sounds of things, she got the idea that I'm a great guy from some random place. If it is her opinion, then she has nothing to back it up with. I never talk to anyone, so how would she know? She wasn't complimenting me; she was saying it to another student and I over-heard it. I saw it as my business because they were talking about me. I think she treats other people very kindly, but treating me like garbage isn't, "Unusual," for anyone.

well my problem is not about a girl/woman complimenting me.

You freaken ask...so knock the honeysuckle off..
I'm not here to verify or approve of your veiw.
You made up your mind already..

She dosn't need your god **** seal of aprroval to say what the fresia she wants or feel either.
What she say or do is none of your god **** bussiness.

Okay..you expect to be treated like fucken garbage... It's comfortible and familar for you...
Here you go....the usual "gardenia".
Happy now ?
Serious enough for ya ?

Geee juuzzzz

So ..you like it the pyscho bitches that treats you like honeysuckle too eh ?
Can't blame you..they put sparks and excitment in my life.
I run away from the nice ones too..they're just too god **** sweet for me..

If you have any balls...you'd talk to her. It would make you feel uncomfortiable with fears pumping through your vains..
It would be something different or a change in your life.

Your anger is just but a mask or delusions that keeps you in your comfortzone.
Anger is a secondary emotion of FEAR. Underneath your anger is FEAR...
Call a spade as a spade..Be honest and keep it simple.

 

[Satchel421]

Lonesome crow, I'd really like you to read the original post. Like I said, I did confront her about this as soon as I got the chance. I'm having a hard time figuring out why you have such a negative tone towards this. I asked for opinions and I thought you weren't taking this seriously. Sorry if I got you so worked up.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

dain...satch...

First you thought I wasn't serious enough...now i'm too god **** serious.

Read what I wirte...it's not negative data. What kind of data processing are you doing in your head?
Just becuase you preceive it a certain way such as me getting worked up..dosn't mean that I am.

You have a hard time figuring me out and you have a hard time figuring her out.
mmmm there seem to be a pattern.lol

And why would the hell you confront her as if she did somthing wrong ?

You getting all worked up just becuase you over heard a girl say you're nice ?......ERRRR

HERE's is the answer....you THOUGHT.

Just becuase you precieve her a certain way..dosn't change who she is.
Everyone relied saying bascailly the samething in so many different ways so that you can might grasp it for what it is.

 

[AimeeLou84]

I think you find it hard to believe that she was saying something genuinely nice about you because you're so used to people saying bad things. But the main thing is it's what you think about yourself.When you don't like yourself,it's kind of hard to imagine why anybody else would.I also think being defensive about a compliment is a lot easier than feeling happy about it.Because what if you're wrong?What if you believe she thinks you're nice only to find out it was some dumb joke?When you've been hurt before sometimes its **** easier to just put up a wall,expect the worst and then you can't get hurt emotionally.

Thats what I think anyway.She probably genuinely just thought you were nice.But it's up to you how you take it.Nobody can tell you how to feel

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think she was just being nice...and that youre ...over reacting to what she said. I've said such things about people before. it was a compliment!

 

[Satchel421]

Well here's a question, If she was just trying to be nice, why couldn't she just come up to me and compliment me to my face? Is, "She wanted to be nice to you, but she didn't want you to know it," really the argument?

 

[SophiaGrace]

idk i mean she couldve just been voicing how she felt to a friend. Maybe it felt awkward for her to say it to your face??

Maybe she was shy? :/

 

[JustJones]

sounds to me like it could be one of two things-
1(the good) She likes you but feels too embarrassed to tell you to your face. Maybe she wanted you to overhear her conversation?
2(bad) She's just trying to impress people with her compassion for the "loner guy" so they think she's all sweet and kind.

I'm leanin towards option1

 

[Satchel421]

Sophia: There's no way she was voicing how she felt about me to a friend. She never communicates with me at all, and all I do in class is sit quietly by myself until class gets out. Everyone avoids me, so I haven't even been given the opportunity to be a nice guy.

JustJones: It's 2. She can't like me because she has no idea what I'm like. As kind as she acts towards others, I guess she picked me to be the one kid who she doesn't care about.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe because you are quiet she just didnt know how to approach you to tell you herself. :/

Again, I think you are taking this out of proportion.

What did she say when you confronted her?

 

[Nyktimos]

Satchel, I think you're over thinking the situation. People talk about other people all of the time. How many ever go up to someone and just say nice things about them, outside of rubbish sentimental sitcoms? She may have been trying to prove what a nice person she is, but I've noticed that is what passes for being nice in a lot of people. She may think of herself as a good judge of character. People like that often make assuptions about others. She may have been being sarcastic, because you are clearly a loner. But you won't stop people taking about you behind your back, any more than she can stop you posting about her here. And you can't control what people think or even say.

I say, give her a chance. Perhaps even talk to her about how you felt when you heard her say it, and why you think it pissed you off so much. Explain that you're used to being ignored, and don't feel anyone really knows you.

I was a loner at school. I remember we all had to write some crap and read it out, and I wrote someone typically nerdy and some of the class laughed the moment I started reading but I continued anyway. I was used to being unpopular. When we left, a girl was walking behind me who had not long started at that school. She randomly told me she liked what I'd written. I said thanks, and that's all. I don't remember ever speaking to her again because the moment she said something complementary I was out of my comfort zone. I felt suspicious and nervous. She was probably just trying to be nice. My reaction to someone reaching out to me was to back away. I've been doing that my whole life. Don't be the same way.