firemanco3
Active member
Hello everyone, I'm glad to see that there is a place for people with something in common to converge and share ideas or stories and whatever else is on their mind.
I'm generally a quiet person who doesn't always care to be the center of attention. I was kind of an outcast in school and have learned when I can trust someone. As a result I tend to choose my friends because I've realized people are not always willing to be a true friend. My life is built on memories of quality moments that I have spent with family and good friends and for the last fourteen years these have been more or less lacking. I joined the Navy after high school and left home but came back four years later after being released from active duty. I expected things in my life to return to normal but that normalness was gone.
I never was the type who took advantage of one-night stands, I've always wanted a real relationship with someone that I could share quality moments with. The one girlfriend that I had that I loved and probably would have married joined the Navy and we split up. It was over six years before I had another girlfriend and I just ended that relationship because it wasn't going anywhere. In the meantime I've had to put up with people giving me useless advice like telling me to find a whore or a slut, to hang out at sleezy bars, and that I just need to get laid. I've also had people laugh at my situation and make jokes, or even tell me I'm smart for staying single. This had taken an emotional toll on me that caused me to become depressed and even contemplate physical harm to myself.
Five years ago I began to reaffirm my relationship with God. Although I have always known God, turning to him has helped me and has taken away the burden of depression. Through Him I have a great job, I have become a respected member of the fire department I'm on, and I have continued my military service in the Air National Guard. Through this, He has provided me with purpose in this life and I am grateful.
That being said, however, I don't like being alone and I don't think its something I'll just get used to. I've tried to just learn to accept it, but after awhile it knaws at me. I continue to long for that special person to come into my life. I know that I am not meant to be alone. I'm the oldest of four grandchildren and the only one who isn't married or engaged. I still find myself becoming envious of people who are getting married. I find out about old girlfriends who are getting married and I still find myself browsing dating websites and waiting for emails and phone calls that will probably never come. I know God has a plan and I try my best to keep the faith, but I truly hope that I will find that special person after waiting for so long.
I know that my situation may be petty compared to what many others here are going through and my thoughts and prayers are with them. If I can offer any advice to anyone, don't let any situation you may be in push you to do something drastic. I can say that I've been down that path and its not worth it. I had a co-worker commit suicide in his home because he was lonely and let me say that it has a profound effect on alot of people.
It took me several attempts to write this thread the way I wanted it without creating a novel on here. I never really had the oppotunity to express myself like this before and try to make sense out of it. I hope everyone enjoyed it and can relate in some way. I'm always willing to talk.
I'm generally a quiet person who doesn't always care to be the center of attention. I was kind of an outcast in school and have learned when I can trust someone. As a result I tend to choose my friends because I've realized people are not always willing to be a true friend. My life is built on memories of quality moments that I have spent with family and good friends and for the last fourteen years these have been more or less lacking. I joined the Navy after high school and left home but came back four years later after being released from active duty. I expected things in my life to return to normal but that normalness was gone.
I never was the type who took advantage of one-night stands, I've always wanted a real relationship with someone that I could share quality moments with. The one girlfriend that I had that I loved and probably would have married joined the Navy and we split up. It was over six years before I had another girlfriend and I just ended that relationship because it wasn't going anywhere. In the meantime I've had to put up with people giving me useless advice like telling me to find a whore or a slut, to hang out at sleezy bars, and that I just need to get laid. I've also had people laugh at my situation and make jokes, or even tell me I'm smart for staying single. This had taken an emotional toll on me that caused me to become depressed and even contemplate physical harm to myself.
Five years ago I began to reaffirm my relationship with God. Although I have always known God, turning to him has helped me and has taken away the burden of depression. Through Him I have a great job, I have become a respected member of the fire department I'm on, and I have continued my military service in the Air National Guard. Through this, He has provided me with purpose in this life and I am grateful.
That being said, however, I don't like being alone and I don't think its something I'll just get used to. I've tried to just learn to accept it, but after awhile it knaws at me. I continue to long for that special person to come into my life. I know that I am not meant to be alone. I'm the oldest of four grandchildren and the only one who isn't married or engaged. I still find myself becoming envious of people who are getting married. I find out about old girlfriends who are getting married and I still find myself browsing dating websites and waiting for emails and phone calls that will probably never come. I know God has a plan and I try my best to keep the faith, but I truly hope that I will find that special person after waiting for so long.
I know that my situation may be petty compared to what many others here are going through and my thoughts and prayers are with them. If I can offer any advice to anyone, don't let any situation you may be in push you to do something drastic. I can say that I've been down that path and its not worth it. I had a co-worker commit suicide in his home because he was lonely and let me say that it has a profound effect on alot of people.
It took me several attempts to write this thread the way I wanted it without creating a novel on here. I never really had the oppotunity to express myself like this before and try to make sense out of it. I hope everyone enjoyed it and can relate in some way. I'm always willing to talk.
haha never feel bad about writing long posts...it keeps things interesting....and hey, at least you use paragraphs and proper grammar! Haha those are getting harder to find these days.
