here we go again

[man of one]

So I have been crush free for some time now and feeling good about it, but then this girl walks in and it has me utterly pissed off.

Ok so to start, i take a class with said girl and at first it was nothing, i saw her thought she was cute, but did not think i would fall for her. A couple of days later im talking to a friend that she knows as well and she says hi to the friend and then says hi to me even though she didn't knew me. I obviously thought she was just being nice. Well like 2 days later she waits outside the classroom and stops me and asks my name, I tell her and she introduces herself, after that we talked a bit and went on our separate ways. later on i manage to bump into her in the parking lot and she says "what was your name again?" I tell her again and she repeats it like to remember it and we say our goodbyes. the next days she always said hi to me in a real cheerful way like "HI!!" lol.

Anyways cause of this I started liking her, but now it's like she doesn't care, like all that being interested in me was a ruse and it has me pissed off. Cause if that was her plan why couldn't she had just left me the fresia alone? now im in love with her and she doesn't seem to be in me. I just don't get it...what do you guys think?

 

[Callie]

Okay, she could very well still be interested in you. Ask her out if you like her, worst that can happen is that she will say no.

However, I doubt you're in love with her. Just my opinion...

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Cause if that was her plan why couldn't she had just left me the fresia alone? now im in love with her and she doesn't seem to be in me.

Whoa, wait a bit! You really need to take thing a bit slower here.

If she wants to know your name and has said hi to you, that's great. Now you just need to gently get to know her better.

It's way too early to start stating you're "in love" with her and getting angry because she isn't making such grandiose statements about you isn't going to help your situation at all. In fact, such an attitude is likely to push her away.

Forget having a crush on her. She sounds like a pretty girl that you like being around - is that true? If so, just see her like that, not as this inflated image you're building for her.

If you treat her like a good friend and just get comfortable around her, I'm sure she'll start to enjoy your company and perhaps think about you romantically.

Taking gigantic leaps towards having a "crush" and turning her into a larger-than-life pedestal type of girl is a sure fire way to ensure that she won't be interested in you. Good luck

 

[Sci-Fi]

I agree with TSM. Just take it slow, don't fall into that "omg a girl talked to me i'm so in love with her now" trap. It's nice someone of the opposite sex has shown interest and made the first move. Just get to know her casually, then see if there really is something there.

 

[putter65]

So I have been crush free for some time now and feeling good about it, but then this girl walks in and it has me utterly pissed off.

Ok so to start, i take a class with said girl and at first it was nothing, i saw her thought she was cute, but did not think i would fall for her. A couple of days later im talking to a friend that she knows as well and she says hi to the friend and then says hi to me even though she didn't knew me. I obviously thought she was just being nice. Well like 2 days later she waits outside the classroom and stops me and asks my name, I tell her and she introduces herself, after that we talked a bit and went on our separate ways. later on i manage to bump into her in the parking lot and she says "what was your name again?" I tell her again and she repeats it like to remember it and we say our goodbyes. the next days she always said hi to me in a real cheerful way like "HI!!" lol.

Anyways cause of this I started liking her, but now it's like she doesn't care, like all that being interested in me was a ruse and it has me pissed off. Cause if that was her plan why couldn't she had just left me the fresia alone? now im in love with her and she doesn't seem to be in me. I just don't get it...what do you guys think?

What did she do to make you think she doesn't care ?

Not talk to you ?

Maybe she was waiting for you to talk to her ?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Anyways cause of this I started liking her, but now it's like she doesn't care, like all that being interested in me was a ruse and it has me pissed off. Cause if that was her plan why couldn't she had just left me the fresia alone? now im in love with her and she doesn't seem to be in me. I just don't get it...what do you guys think?

Asking to know someone's name and saying hi in a cheerful way doesn't mean she was interested in you. You may be taking everything to heart simply because you started to like her yourself.

 

[passage]

Look at it from her position. If you fancy someone and get the nerve/balls to introduce yourself, and be all happy whenever you bump into them, but the other person doesn't quite reciprocate, you'd feel like they aren't interested. She probably feels that you aren't interested so she stops

 

[man of one]

Thanks for the replies guys, first off im not in love with her I don't know why i said that lol, i just like her.

UPDATE: today i managed to strike a convo with her, and i don't know, while we were talking her facial expression showed like she was surprised or like a what the heck face. She had me confused was she surprised that i talked to her or was she like **** this guy is weird lol.

Callie- I want to know her better before asking her out

TheSolitaryMan- I really am not inflating her image into some goddess or something lol, I really just want to get to know her better but it was alot easier when she seemed to be after me now it's harder to come into contact.

Vanillacreme- Well I understand that just wanting to know someones name shouldn't mean interest, but why of all the people coming out of the classroom and i was coming out with 3 friends she stops only me to ask my name for no reason, and then wants me to know her name. All i mean is she didn't have to do that and we could have never met and nothing would had happened. She did that for a reason

Passage- Yeah I understand that, but i am showing interest in her, yet the interest she was showing in me isn't quite there anymore.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, if it's really bothering you, ask her about it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

All she said was hi and suddenly this is an opening to get her to like you?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

All she said was hi and suddenly this is an opening to get her to like you?

Unfortunately I think this is one great problem with males being traditionally required to "start" a relationship (in pop. culture anyway). It can be incredibly stressful sometimes to determine if a girl wants you to pursue her romantically or if she's simply being friendly if either one isn't immediately evident.

Especially if a guy develops a crush, it can cloud judgement completely, it's somehow like there's almost a subtle pressure for you to do something about it.

Each "Hi" feels like an invitation you're either reading into too closely, or ignoring too much.

You fear if you don't act that you'll lose the girl of your dreams, if you do go ahead that it's all in your head. This feeling grows worse with long inexperience and longing for a relationship, because you start to feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with the way you interact with women in general.

That leads to you never becoming close friends or a partner of the girl.

It's a self-defeating spiral and goes completely contrary to having a healthy relationship - but if your only romantic knowledge stems from society telling you how "a man pursues romance", it can feel really crushing.

That's how I often used to get myself in an emotional mess as a guy anyway!

 

[man of one]

All she said was hi and suddenly this is an opening to get her to like you?

Unfortunately I think this is one great problem with males being traditionally required to "start" a relationship (in pop. culture anyway). It can be incredibly stressful sometimes to determine if a girl wants you to pursue her romantically or if she's simply being friendly if either one isn't immediately evident.

Especially if a guy develops a crush, it can cloud judgement completely, it's somehow like there's almost a subtle pressure for you to do something about it.

Each "Hi" feels like an invitation you're either reading into too closely, or ignoring too much.

You fear if you don't act that you'll lose the girl of your dreams, if you do go ahead that it's all in your head. This feeling grows worse with long inexperience and longing for a relationship, because you start to feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with the way you interact with women in general.

That leads to you never becoming close friends or a partner of the girl.

It's a self-defeating spiral and goes completely contrary to having a healthy relationship - but if your only romantic knowledge stems from society telling you how "a man pursues romance", it can feel really crushing.

That's how I often used to get myself in an emotional mess as a guy anyway!

lol it wasn't just a "hi" that started all this, a bunch of other girls say hi or smile to me and i know it isn't a big deal. What started the interest in this particular girl was that she wanted to know my name and wanted me to know hers even though there was no need for that.

I mean put it this way would you stop someone in their tracks if you have no interest in them or have absolutely no need to know their name? i don't think so. And as i said i walked out with 3 friends she let them passed and stopped me. That is what sparked the interest not just the hi's haha. if she had just said hi i know it meant nothing just friendly.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There's never a need for anything. Perhaps that was just her way of being nice. I don't know. I'd ask personally.

 

[manwithhat2]

Love is a strong word, man. More of an attraction

I would just ask her, women usually never ask the guy on a date. Make a move man.

 

[Varifold]

Just ask her out. If she refuses to, or isn't interested, or if she accepts and then tells you about her boyfriend while on a "date" with you, you know that it's never going to go anywhere with this girl.