Hey all

[cheaptrickfan]

Hi. I am a mess. I'm on the cusp of turning 40 (next week- huzzah), I'm in the middle of a divorce (my husband left me for a blonde), I lost my job this past spring (apparently I don't "play well" with administrators), and I am still struggling with the loss of my infant son (in 2001). I have been isolated for years as a stay at home mom, most of my friends are "online friends," now that my husband is gone, I have no real life support system in my area, because he got full custody of our friends.

That's just the general background.

Today I realized that there is not a single area in my life where I'm not being rejected. Let's take a look:

* work - I've received no answers to any of the resumes I've sent out. I guess that even the form rejection letter is a relic of the past, or I'm so far down in importance that I don't even deserve the courtesy of a rejection letter. Straight to the circular file!

* parenting - At bedtime in my house, my littlest daughter is consumed with tears because she misses her Daddy. Everyone claims that she's perfectly fine at her dad's house - no hysterical cries for Mommy. She and her big sister both are tossing me such unbelievable sass and are outright disrespectful to me. I've heard the older kid utter the dreaded phrase, "Well, at Daddy's house..." from time to time. Now, part of me knows that she's probably just testing the waters of filial manipulation to see how far she can go. Just another boundary test, but it brings into sharp relief how much has changed since he left me.

* friends - I'm a convenience friend at best around here, like a third-string Quarterback bench pony, called on at last resort, when everyone else is unavailable. It's amazing how quickly people drop you when times are bad. Real friends are there to give you a hug - or a kick in the ass -when you go through the rough times, not just when you're flush enough to pick up the bar tab. Looks as though I am fresh out of "real friends" in my area.

* relationships - I can't even begin to describe what an unadulterated horror my love life is. I really am better off taking a break from it all (again). At least then I'm miserable and lonely on my own terms.


I'm beginning to wonder why I even get up in the morning. It certainly isn't for the cake. Maybe it's the gin.

 

[evanescencefan91]

Hey Cheaptrickfan welcome to the forum

I'm sorry things haven't been working out very well for you. I can definatly relate to being the third wheel friend. I've always been the backup friend. The one you keep up in the attic for a year then you take it out for a day when all you other friends are away. Pretty much my entire life I've only had one friend to hang out with outside of school. And they're history now. No one ever calls me to say hey wanna hang out. I hate the ring of the phone becuase it's loud, high pitched and it's never for me. It's Friday night and i took a nap a good time for me is ussally when i'm uncounscious.

I'm sorry about your divorce. My parents have been divorced for about 5 years and it was a pain in the ass. How old are your daughters? They still love you, and i was the same way when my parents got divorced. They might just be agnst ridden teenagers, and thats something that you'll just have wait it out and let nature take it's course.

I'm sorry i don't have any better advice.

and again welcome to the forum, you're welcome to pm me anytime

 

[Steel]

Hey Cheaptrick and welcome.

* parenting - At bedtime in my house, my littlest daughter is consumed with tears because she misses her Daddy. Everyone claims that she's perfectly fine at her dad's house - no hysterical cries for Mommy. She and her big sister both are tossing me such unbelievable sass and are outright disrespectful to me. I've heard the older kid utter the dreaded phrase, "Well, at Daddy's house..." from time to time. Now, part of me knows that she's probably just testing the waters of filial manipulation to see how far she can go. Just another boundary test, but it brings into sharp relief how much has changed since he left me.

Kids will generally act up when they are being looked after by someone whom they feel secure with. Small consolation I know.

Plus, congratulations (in advance) on the birthday. Let me know what its like, that way I have 11 months warning before I hit it lol.

 

[Unacceptance]

Your kids will grow up to remember what you did for them and what you went through.

Trust me on this.

As for the rest, it's a sting we've all felt in one way or another. Won't get any easier dealing with the day you happen to be fortunate to have others who depend on you, even if it is in a parental manner.

 

[Minus]

Welcome

I am sorry thing are going so roughly for you these days

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Hey Cheaptrickfan welcome to the forum
How old are your daughters? They still love you, and i was the same way when my parents got divorced. They might just be agnst ridden teenagers, and thats something that you'll just have wait it out and let nature take it's course.

and again welcome to the forum, you're welcome to pm me anytime

Thanks for the welcome. My girls are still young, in elementary school, but the older one is what I would call: "attitudinally precocious." lol

I'm laughing a little at our usernames: we're both fans of a band, but like two generations apart. I do like evanescence though.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Hey Cheaptrick and welcome.

Kids will generally act up when they are being looked after by someone whom they feel secure with. Small consolation I know.

Plus, congratulations (in advance) on the birthday. Let me know what its like, that way I have 11 months warning before I hit it lol.

re: kids' behavior- people have told me this before, and I have no doubt that there's truth to it. I just wish it were easier to handle when I'm down.

The big four-oh hadn't bothered me until very recently. Now I feel as though I should buy a burial plot. Ugh.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Your kids will grow up to remember what you did for them and what you went through.

Trust me on this.

Thanks.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Welcome

I am sorry thing are going so roughly for you these days

Thank you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hi. I am a mess. I'm on the cusp of turning 40 (next week- huzzah), I'm in the middle of a divorce (my husband left me for a blonde), I lost my job this past spring (apparently I don't "play well" with administrators), and I am still struggling with the loss of my infant son (in 2001). I have been isolated for years as a stay at home mom, most of my friends are "online friends," now that my husband is gone, I have no real life support system in my area, because he got full custody of our friends.

That's just the general background.

Today I realized that there is not a single area in my life where I'm not being rejected. Let's take a look:

* work - I've received no answers to any of the resumes I've sent out. I guess that even the form rejection letter is a relic of the past, or I'm so far down in importance that I don't even deserve the courtesy of a rejection letter. Straight to the circular file!

* parenting - At bedtime in my house, my littlest daughter is consumed with tears because she misses her Daddy. Everyone claims that she's perfectly fine at her dad's house - no hysterical cries for Mommy. She and her big sister both are tossing me such unbelievable sass and are outright disrespectful to me. I've heard the older kid utter the dreaded phrase, "Well, at Daddy's house..." from time to time. Now, part of me knows that she's probably just testing the waters of filial manipulation to see how far she can go. Just another boundary test, but it brings into sharp relief how much has changed since he left me.

* friends - I'm a convenience friend at best around here, like a third-string Quarterback bench pony, called on at last resort, when everyone else is unavailable. It's amazing how quickly people drop you when times are bad. Real friends are there to give you a hug - or a kick in the ass -when you go through the rough times, not just when you're flush enough to pick up the bar tab. Looks as though I am fresh out of "real friends" in my area.

* relationships - I can't even begin to describe what an unadulterated horror my love life is. I really am better off taking a break from it all (again). At least then I'm miserable and lonely on my own terms.


I'm beginning to wonder why I even get up in the morning. It certainly isn't for the cake. Maybe it's the gin.

Hi, Cheaptrickfan, and welcome.
OK, lol...
I'm 40 as of August 4th. I love Cheaptrick (all 80s music), I have a three year old and my husband is gone much more than he is home (he's in the military). Friends? What are those? We're military...that doesnt lend itself to making lasting friendships. When my little one gets into trouble, she calls for her Daddy, lol. I don't know where you're located, but here, rejection letters are the exception, not the rule.
Not that any of this makes you feel better (our situations are obvioulsy different), but at least you know that you don't suffer alone. (((((hugs)))))

Again, welcome and feel free to PM me anytime.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Hi, Cheaptrickfan, and welcome.
OK, lol...
I'm 40 as of August 4th. I love Cheaptrick (all 80s music), I have a three year old and my husband is gone much more than he is home (he's in the military). Friends? What are those? We're military...that doesnt lend itself to making lasting friendships. When my little one gets into trouble, she calls for her Daddy, lol. I don't know where you're located, but here, rejection letters are the exception, not the rule.
Not that any of this makes you feel better (our situations are obvioulsy different), but at least you know that you don't suffer alone. (((((hugs)))))

Again, welcome and feel free to PM me anytime.

Hey, I saw Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick on tour this summer. I felt 20 years younger at the concert! lol

Thanks for the welcome. Is your husband stationed/deployed overseas now?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hi, Cheaptrickfan, and welcome.
OK, lol...
I'm 40 as of August 4th. I love Cheaptrick (all 80s music), I have a three year old and my husband is gone much more than he is home (he's in the military). Friends? What are those? We're military...that doesnt lend itself to making lasting friendships. When my little one gets into trouble, she calls for her Daddy, lol. I don't know where you're located, but here, rejection letters are the exception, not the rule.
Not that any of this makes you feel better (our situations are obvioulsy different), but at least you know that you don't suffer alone. (((((hugs)))))

Again, welcome and feel free to PM me anytime.

Hey, I saw Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick on tour this summer. I felt 20 years younger at the concert! lol

Thanks for the welcome. Is your husband stationed/deployed overseas now?

I envy you, lol! Journey, Heart AND Cheap Trick!!!! AWESOME!
Sadly, yes, my husband is in Iraq serving a 15 month deployment. But, he'll be home in three weeks!!!

 

[Naleena]

Hello, Cheaptrickfan. You sure are going through a lot of things right now. I am very sorry for the loss of your baby. I know it leaves a hole inside you when you lose a child. Speaking of children, it doesn't surprise me your children are testing you. They too have a hard time dealing with loss to and take it out in their own way. As far as what you hear happens at daddy's house- take it with a grain of salt.
I remember a time in my life when I lost a lot. I lost a job, my home, had a major operation, lost my insurance, lost my car, lost a lot in the space of a year-actually more like 8 months. It was a very depressing time for a while. I feel for ya, I do. It seemed like everyway I turned, I got crapped on. Kind of like God put a bulls eye on my back...lol Ever find yourself wondering whats next? Well, it has been my experience that things pass. They will get better for you. Until then, you have friends here that you can talk too. Myself included. Welcome and I look forward to seeing you around

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Sadly, yes, my husband is in Iraq serving a 15 month deployment. But, he'll be home in three weeks!!!

I hope that the next three weeks fly past for you.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Hello, Cheaptrickfan. You sure are going through a lot of things right now. I am very sorry for the loss of your baby. I know it leaves a hole inside you when you lose a child.

It was easily the worst thing that has happened to me. I can't imagine anything worse.

Speaking of children, it doesn't surprise me your children are testing you. They too have a hard time dealing with loss to and take it out in their own way. As far as what you hear happens at daddy's house- take it with a grain of salt.

I know I have to try to be adult and objective about it, but when I'm at my most insecure it's easy to feel just the teensiest bit selfish. :/

I remember a time in my life when I lost a lot. I lost a job, my home, had a major operation, lost my insurance, lost my car, lost a lot in the space of a year-actually more like 8 months. It was a very depressing time for a while. I feel for ya, I do. It seemed like everyway I turned, I got crapped on. Kind of like God put a bulls eye on my back...lol Ever find yourself wondering whats next?

Ugh, my God- I'm sorry. I describe it like being a lightning rod for tragedy/trouble.

Well, it has been my experience that things pass. They will get better for you. Until then, you have friends here that you can talk too. Myself included. Welcome and I look forward to seeing you around

I know that things should pass eventually, but it seems to me that this run of awful luck has been unstoppable since 2001. It's time for things to change for the better. Forgive the psychobabble here... I'm trying to be an agent of change in my life, but it feels as if life is tossing up barriers at every step.