Hey Guys

[Adzzz]

Im someone who tends to write a lot. So I'll try not to do that here haha.

I guess I came onto this forum because I obviously feel alone in life sometimes. I actually do have quite a lot of friends when I look at my life. And Im thankful for that. But I have felt out of place and like I dont belong for about the last two years. Anyone else feel this way?

I mean I have a great time hanging out with my friends. We always have a good time. But I dont really see them unless we are going clubbing or doing some sort of activity. Its actually awkward if I were to say 'hey lets meet up to talk or lets go for a cofee somewhere and have a chat'. I just dont have that relationship with anyone. Im pretty close with about two people but they kind of have their own group of mates and you know...I dont see them too often.

Ive been yearning for a close group of mates for so long. Everyone around me seems to have one. Sometimes Im even with my mates and then we meet another group of people and I think to myself "id fit in with these other guys so much more".

I kind of feel selfish in a way. Because I have friends and I know alot of people out there hardly have any or dont have any at all. The main thing Im sad about in my life is not feeling apart of the people im with. And that makes me feel as if im missing out on alot.

Alot of my life now is focused on actually leaving my country (Australia). And starting a new life in the USA. I want to go to college there in a year and maybe see if id feel apart of something there.

But yeah. As you can see I had to get these feelings out. I have so much boiled up inside me and I have no one to release these feelings to. I just wish I had someone I could talk to about these things. But I dont...

 

[Sci-Fi]

Sounds like you keep yourself from becoming part of a group, you said you sometimes you think you'd fit in with other guys more, so...what is holding your back? Sometimes a big move can be a good change, but be prepared its not the easiest thing either. You'll find a lot of people here can ramble on (myself included) so don't worry about that, nothing wrong with getting your feelings out.

Welcome to the forums.

 

[SherryGee]

hey adzzz
i do see what you mean, you want to fit in but you don't fit in. like sc-fi said, what is holding you back?
i used to hang out with loads of group of people and i still dont feel that i fit in then i found a group of people that i used to hang out (we all gone different ways now). i have to admit they weren't perfect but i did feel that i fit in with them better than other groups.

 

[Punisher]

Hi adzzz

 

[Minus]

Welcome to the site.

 

[Mary Mary]

Adzzz, that's exactly why I'm here, too. I have a long history of being alone. When I was younger, it was because I was shy and lacked social skills; but now I'm older, and I have the social skills that I need. However, I found myself still alone. Like you, I see my friends when we engage in some sort of activity, but I don't have the type of friend that I could just call up randomly and ask them to go shopping with me.

One day, I was pondering why I was still alone despite having social skills, and I discovered the answer: I like it. I like being alone.

However, I still think that we do need a certain amount of social contact. I'm struggling with trying to figure out how to mesh these two real opposing desires, the desire to be alone and the desire to be with someone. As I said, what time I spend with my friends is centered on an activity, which helps me to avoid the one activity that I really don't like but is required to make close friends: chit chatting. I hike and cycle with my friends, but we only spend about half the time together talking. the rest of the time, you're lost in your own thoughts. I don't like parties because I usually want to leave after an hour -- even if I've had a good time.

So, I think the key is to find someone like me. Someone who'll go out to lunch with me, but literally won't mind it if we both eat and run; or someone who won't care if they don't hear from me for two months. However, can you every feel really close to someone if you don't spend a lot of time together just talking, which I don't like to do?

 

[Adzzz]

Thank you for the replies everyone .

Sometimes a big move can be a good change, but be prepared its not the easiest thing either.

I definitely realise that. But I don't plan on just jumping straight to it. I want to spend a year in the US studying first and see how that goes. How I accustom to the culture, what people I meet, and what potential career options I have there. But for some reason I feel so certain that going there is the right thing to do for me. Like I am supposed to do it (as ridiculous as that sounds). It's weird, but going to the the US feels like something I must do.

i do see what you mean, you want to fit in but you don't fit in. like sc-fi said, what is holding you back?

What's holding me back? The awkwardness of doing it pretty much. You can't simply just join another group. And after highschool it's pretty difficult to find a new group of friends who will bring you in.

One day, I was pondering why I was still alone despite having social skills, and I discovered the answer: I like it. I like being alone.

So, I think the key is to find someone like me. Someone who'll go out to lunch with me, but literally won't mind it if we both eat and run; or someone who won't care if they don't hear from me for two months. However, can you every feel really close to someone if you don't spend a lot of time together just talking, which I don't like to do?

I used to like being alone alot. But back then I considered my virtual reality life on my online games more important than real life. Things have changed since then, as have I. I really don't like staying home on a saturday night by myself when I see everyone else being together somewhere.

Currently I don't mind as much going out every week clubbing or doing something with my friends. But I wont be living this lifestyle forever. What happens when Im older, we have careers, and stop going out as much as we do. Will I still be able to have a close relationship with my current friends when we arnt doing some sort of activity? I don't know...but I doubt it.

I am someone who never gives up. Someone who always has hope. I have great hope things will change. But I've come to realise in life things wont just change unless you make some sort of effort to change them yourself. I believe I have been helped alot in my life through prayer and God. Im not very religious - but having some level of faith keeps me going.

 

[Mary Mary]

I am someone who never gives up. Someone who always has hope. I have great hope things will change. But I've come to realise in life things wont just change unless you make some sort of effort to change them yourself. I believe I have been helped alot in my life through prayer and God. Im not very religious - but having some level of faith keeps me going.

Good attitude