I'm pretty lonely, and have been throughout my life.
I'm introverted (but do actually like that about myself), fairly attractive (I think), but am unable to really link with others.
I grew up made fun of for my looks, hated by my mother because I looked like my father who left us, and I spend my time reading sci-fi and fantasy because I hated jocks who seemed evil to me.
Girls used to throw lit cigarettes at me and call me the ugly paperboy, when I'd go to dances.
Now I'm older, but am nervous around others because I expect them to all gang up on me like kids did in the past.
I mired myself in drink for the last 10 years but managed to hold down a job.
I stopped the drinking, changed careers (am still a professional) but really have trouble with light talk around others.
I feel utterly alone, in a sea of people who belong. Honestly, the world feels alien to me.
Now that I'm better looking, I try to start relationships with women I casually meet, but they fizzle, because I think I'm actually just trying to boost my self esteem. Women seem shallow to me now, because I know they just like a good face and confidence.
Cheers
Oh ya, I'm atheist, so I can't take comfort in supernatural entities, and have a wife who left me when the cards were down.
I'm introverted (but do actually like that about myself), fairly attractive (I think), but am unable to really link with others.
I grew up made fun of for my looks, hated by my mother because I looked like my father who left us, and I spend my time reading sci-fi and fantasy because I hated jocks who seemed evil to me.
Girls used to throw lit cigarettes at me and call me the ugly paperboy, when I'd go to dances.
Now I'm older, but am nervous around others because I expect them to all gang up on me like kids did in the past.
I mired myself in drink for the last 10 years but managed to hold down a job.
I stopped the drinking, changed careers (am still a professional) but really have trouble with light talk around others.
I feel utterly alone, in a sea of people who belong. Honestly, the world feels alien to me.
Now that I'm better looking, I try to start relationships with women I casually meet, but they fizzle, because I think I'm actually just trying to boost my self esteem. Women seem shallow to me now, because I know they just like a good face and confidence.
Cheers
Oh ya, I'm atheist, so I can't take comfort in supernatural entities, and have a wife who left me when the cards were down.