Hey guys

[cyberman]

I'm pretty lonely, and have been throughout my life.

I'm introverted (but do actually like that about myself), fairly attractive (I think), but am unable to really link with others.

I grew up made fun of for my looks, hated by my mother because I looked like my father who left us, and I spend my time reading sci-fi and fantasy because I hated jocks who seemed evil to me.

Girls used to throw lit cigarettes at me and call me the ugly paperboy, when I'd go to dances.

Now I'm older, but am nervous around others because I expect them to all gang up on me like kids did in the past.

I mired myself in drink for the last 10 years but managed to hold down a job.

I stopped the drinking, changed careers (am still a professional) but really have trouble with light talk around others.

I feel utterly alone, in a sea of people who belong. Honestly, the world feels alien to me.

Now that I'm better looking, I try to start relationships with women I casually meet, but they fizzle, because I think I'm actually just trying to boost my self esteem. Women seem shallow to me now, because I know they just like a good face and confidence.

Cheers

---

Oh ya, I'm atheist, so I can't take comfort in supernatural entities, and have a wife who left me when the cards were down.

 

[Lilianna]

Welcome! You found the right place.

cyberman said; "Women seem shallow to me now, because I know they just like a good face and confidence."

Sadly it's true, a lot of women and men are this way, but not me And not all men and women are this way.

 

[cyberman]

I'm glad you were honest.

 

[Lilianna]

I'm glad you were honest.

It's sad but true, so many women and men, judge someone by there looks, and confidence. You can't help but feel sorrow for them because they are as you say, shallow. And who wants to be shallow? Not me!

Someone that is sincere, intelligent, romantic, has a sense of humor, is kind and loving, connected to who they are inside, and not what they look like on the outside... Show me that person and you are looking at the most beautiful person in the world! I think all people are beautiful, without variety, it would be a boring world. The only face I have seen that I thought was ugly was the face of someone with an ugly personality.

 

[Barbaloot]

Welcome to the forum. Just remember not all women are the same.

 

[cyberman]

Lol -I hear the same from women aaall the time.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi,
Welcome to the forum!

Teresa

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hi cyberman, welcome to the forum. In a place like this, I hope you can find at least one person you can connect with.

 

[ThisSideOfTheRainbow]

Hey mate, welcome to the forum. There are alot of cool people here, so you will fit right in. Believe me, there's plenty of people here pulling their hair out and trying to figure themselves out, but definitely good souls, so you came to the right place, man.

Cheers

 

[foreverrray]

Hello and welcome from a fellow newbie!
I'm female but feel very similar to you a lot of the time, but I also second Lilianna's sentiments - not everyone is the same.

 

[MissGuided]

Hi and welcome to the forum.