Rosebolt said:
Heeyy Inspire. Welcome to the forum!
I have this forum can help you find a balance and a "web" to fall into when you're being hit hard by the feelings you mentioned.
Just know that if you're being hit by it again, you can always message me to talk, or just vent. I'll listen to all you say. My PM box won't magically close when you're feeling good though!
Heey, have fun, and take care!
WARNING: UPCOMMING RANT ABOUT MY BAD DAY YESTERDAY!
Aww, thank you so much! I am actually feeling fantastic today. Yesterday was just one of those days where everything was going wrong. I had most of the plants and flowers I grew by seed SHRIVEL in the hot sun, and I got so upset because having flowers around in my home really helps with my depression and anxiety. I almost cried! Haha. However, I brought them inside and watered them a few times and when I got home from work today, they were all back to normal and looking healthy as ever. I am so relieved they survived! My boyfriend was kind enough to buy me these GORGEOUS potted lilies when he saw my plants nearly died. He's amazing like that.
I also was not having good customer experiences at my job. I work at a candy shop and I actually *really* love my job (since I have a great team and they pay is great), so usually I am hopping happy and ready to go above an beyond for any customer. Yesterday I had this lady come in to pack two boxes of chocolate, and she treated me like I was an idiot and I had no idea how to do my job. I tried to remember that I can't let people like that get me down, but it sure hit me when she literally got in my face behind the counter and acted like a *****. She was very high maintenance.
After I got home from work, all I wanted and planned to do was just relax, maybe do some laundry and a few chores. Right as I came through the door (already in a bad mood), I was told by my boyfriend one of our friends was coming over. I love the guy but I was not in the right place and mindset to want to hang out with anyone. When our friend got here (he's gay, but that doesn't really matter), he had asked what was wrong and he could tell I was MAD. And he kept egging me in about it. When I finally told him what happened that day, as well as find out the hard way I was gaining weight (I can't fit into my brand new jeans I got), my friend mentioned that, "Yes, I did notice you are starting to grow more of a pudge." I said nothing and pretended I wasn't hurt.
It's starting to get really hot outside and we don't have an A/C, so my friend wants to go, of all places, to the MALL. I just came from there, since I work at the mall at two different shops 6-7 days a week. I am there ALL OF THE TIME. The mall is the very last place I want to hang out during my free time. At this point, everything that everyone is saying and doing is pissing me off, so I tell them that I will be staying home to take care of myself and my mood, while they go to the mall and hang out. When they leave, I start to cry. BAWL. I felt so bad about being a ***** to them and lashing out, and the last thing I want is to become lonely because of my abrasive attitude every once in a while. It's just that I work all the damned time, I haven't had a day off for two weeks, find out I possibly gained weight/hips grew larger in a month (when I have been VERY careful about what I eat and drink, cutting all of the candy from my diet while at work), while I have any free time I am working in laundry/cleaning/studying for my new job... So I basically haven't had any free time to myself.
I feel I am complaining way too much right now. I am really enjoying life and the people who are in my life are wonderful, but I feel that why I'm saying is way too much. Sorry of the earload of BLAH BLAH BLAH, but I just needed to get that out.
