For 3 years, I went to a Christian school that I think was expecting way too much from me. I had to do 4-5 hours of homework a night for 3 years! Imagine that! On my junior year, my brain just snapped. I told myself I couldn't do it anymore. It was literally sucking my life and I starting to feel that nobody at that school really cared about me or needed me. This led to major depression and suicidal thoughts. Just to make everything clear, I thought about it but I didn't actually try. I talked to the only person at the school who showed me that he truly cared about me. He was a big help. My mom was getting worried about me so she got me on antidepressants. I'm still taking them. I'm in my senior year of high school and I left the school to take classes at a community college. I'm loving it there because it is much more flexible but I think I'm still recovering from that experience. I'm struggling to finding out how to live and not just survive.
High School Blues
- Thread starter Phantom
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evanescencefan91
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ah man high school sucks no doubt about it, I'm glad college is going well for you so far, I hope it continues
what kinds of classes are you taking?
see if they have any fun like biking or hiking classes, or something fun like that, try getting involved with some student activites if they have some what kinds of stuff do you like to do?
what kinds of classes are you taking?
see if they have any fun like biking or hiking classes, or something fun like that, try getting involved with some student activites if they have some what kinds of stuff do you like to do?
apathy
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Ah... christian schools. I'm attending one of those (i'm agnostic though.) ... ironically, it is way more flexible than my previous school which was run by the public school system. Even so, I'm still working on my assignments or home study for about 4-5 hours each day as well. Hah, blame it on my average intelligence. This is going to be my last year of high school and I still feel the way that you did. That no one really cared... even if I do have friends, they'd easily forget about me once we've graduated. I'd like to think that there are a whole lot more people out there that I could click with, if I just hold on awhile longer. I don't know, after high school... it could be worse.. it could be better. I'll just have to work on becoming the best person that I can be, to be ready.. to be presentable.. to be wanted by other people that I could have potential friendships with.
Mm.. I think that lots of people are like you.. are like me. No one can really tell us how to live... I think we've all got to figure that one out ourselves. I've heard that as long as you work on what you're passionate in, even if you're really busy... your life will eventually fall into place. Which makes sense to me because I realize that when I'm passionate about my work, time really goes by so fast... events that happen in my life.. happened without me desiring them to happen. Those events that gave me a good feeling had happened without my interference or intention. I'm thinking that.. now I'm just trying to survive but I might be able to live.. even if only for afew moments.. when I'm drawing.. singing...
I really want to learn to play the drums but my aunt has her thumb over me.. until high school is over that is. That's one thing that I'm looking forward to. What do you like to do in your free time? reading? cycling? painting? cooking? writing?
I feel that when you're working on things that you find enjoyment in, that really helps you to unwind from the constant depressive thought of, "bah, i'm getting through another day just to survive." It's kind of like taking a pain killer.
You could get involved in a book club if you like to read.. things like that, to widen your social circle.
Mm.. I think that lots of people are like you.. are like me. No one can really tell us how to live... I think we've all got to figure that one out ourselves. I've heard that as long as you work on what you're passionate in, even if you're really busy... your life will eventually fall into place. Which makes sense to me because I realize that when I'm passionate about my work, time really goes by so fast... events that happen in my life.. happened without me desiring them to happen. Those events that gave me a good feeling had happened without my interference or intention. I'm thinking that.. now I'm just trying to survive but I might be able to live.. even if only for afew moments.. when I'm drawing.. singing...
I really want to learn to play the drums but my aunt has her thumb over me.. until high school is over that is. That's one thing that I'm looking forward to. What do you like to do in your free time? reading? cycling? painting? cooking? writing?
I feel that when you're working on things that you find enjoyment in, that really helps you to unwind from the constant depressive thought of, "bah, i'm getting through another day just to survive." It's kind of like taking a pain killer.
You could get involved in a book club if you like to read.. things like that, to widen your social circle.
Wow, I can't imagine having to do that much homework a night. That would drive anyone nuts. Good...uh...gracious. High school is not easy, in a few years though you might look back and wonder what the heck you were thinking back then.
Sounds like college is going much better, that's good. Learning how to live and not just survive is what we all do, and very few actually truly accomplish this. With the way the world is, all we can so is survive. Efan and apathy have some very good suggestions. Sometimes to feel like you are living can be as simple as getting out and enjoying the little things, like a walk in the park. For some people its visiting other countries and cultures.
Sounds like college is going much better, that's good. Learning how to live and not just survive is what we all do, and very few actually truly accomplish this. With the way the world is, all we can so is survive. Efan and apathy have some very good suggestions. Sometimes to feel like you are living can be as simple as getting out and enjoying the little things, like a walk in the park. For some people its visiting other countries and cultures.
I did try to get into other things. For example, I feel as if I'm developing a passion for reading and writing. I'm vice president of the writing club at the college so I think that's doing ok. We only meet once a week so what to do till then? I try to get into it more, but tv and computer are constantly distracting me. But I'm not giving up.
Phantom I like you, you're not willing to just give up that's great. Keep doing that. Also, there is nothing wrong with tv and computer distracting you (lol) just don't let it take over your life. If you want something else to do between meetings you could always join another group, or expand your hobbies.
Thanks for that. I appreciate it. I trying to limit technology from my life because I spent most of my life watching tv and computer. I know I can't be doing all my life. I did try going into an art club but it was pretty bad because all they talked about were future plans they had. I was a bit disappointed but it's fine. I've also started trying drawing. I basically take artwork from a website and trace on notebook paper (I'm not publishing it or anything).
I'm taking precalculus, english, nutrition, and screenwriting. I am a little involved in some activities. I'm vice president of the writing club. I also tried the theatre club but now the meetings are at a time when I have class. I guess I am moving up in the world a little.evanescencefan91 said:ah man high school sucks no doubt about it, I'm glad college is going well for you so far, I hope it continues
what kinds of classes are you taking?
see if they have any fun like biking or hiking classes, or something fun like that, try getting involved with some student activites if they have some what kinds of stuff do you like to do?
